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Do I visit an old friend ...

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Originally posted by: allisolm
Why, out of all the places on the planet to vacation, do you need to go to the one small town where she lives? Just go somewhere else - all problems averted.
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I'm heading up to the Yukon, and she lives in an area we really, really want to visit. I'm not really worried about problems, moreso the awkwardness of a situation that could arise. We'll be having to stop in her town to resupply after a couple of trips, so there is, as I see it, a lot of potential to run into her.
 
Originally posted by: Jzero
Ask if she wants to meet up. Bring your wife.
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If there is any meeting, obviously the wife will be involved, as well as her husband (I'm assuming). Maybe she wouldn't even want to meet up, who knows.

She knows I'm happily married ... I know she is too. I think there is a place for friendship there beyond any past things that have gone on.
 
Originally posted by: Patt
Originally posted by: Jzero
Ask if she wants to meet up. Bring your wife.
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If there is any meeting, obviously the wife will be involved, as well as her husband (I'm assuming). Maybe she wouldn't even want to meet up, who knows.

She knows I'm happily married ... I know she is too. I think there is a place for friendship there beyond any past things that have gone on.
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Agreed. Basically if you offer to meet up, then you are off the hook. If she says yes, she won't be surprised if you bump into her before or after you meet. If she says no, she'll know you're in the area and it won't seem weird if she sees you in town.

And if the spouses are involved, then nobody even has any reason to be suspicious.

Win-win-win 😀
 
soooo...

you met, sorta dated, split up on good terms, maintained a modicum of contact, but have since drifted...

why not stop in and say hi? At worst, it might be brief, but meet a coffee shop or restaurant, and catch up. I'm not sure I understand where the insecurities might lie.
 
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
soooo...

you met, sorta dated, split up on good terms, maintained a modicum of contact, but have since drifted...

why not stop in and say hi? At worst, it might be brief, but meet a coffee shop or restaurant, and catch up. I'm not sure I understand where the insecurities might lie.
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I think any insecurity that may lie within has to do with the fact that she was my first, and that my wife doesn't know that end of the story.
 
I don't get this story at all...long distance and your first...

I am willing to bet you are going to get the response my friend gets (who also goes places exes are because he really wants too): "I am sorry honey, that's really sweet, but I have no idea who you are" He dwells on all these 90's high school/early college girls that all have seem to forgot they ever hooked up.

The fact you know she is still living there after 10 years is a little scary.
 
Originally posted by: alkemyst
The fact you know she is still living there after 10 years is a little scary.
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If you read any of my posts, you would realize that we kept in contact via email, so yeah, I do know where she is. I'm certainly not going to the area to see her, as you implied, but the thought of which made me LOL.

She knows who I am, though she may not know she was my first. Then again, the 18 seconds it took ... maybe she does :laugh:
 
Originally posted by: Patt
Originally posted by: blakeatwork
soooo...

you met, sorta dated, split up on good terms, maintained a modicum of contact, but have since drifted...

why not stop in and say hi? At worst, it might be brief, but meet a coffee shop or restaurant, and catch up. I'm not sure I understand where the insecurities might lie.
Click to expand...

I think any insecurity that may lie within has to do with the fact that she was my first, and that my wife doesn't know that end of the story.
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Bahhh! That's not something that would typically come up in everyday conversation.

"So Joe, who was your first?"
"uhhh... your mother"

See? Questions like that lead to awkwardness, which leads to pre-pubescent rage, which leads to anger, which leads to the Dark Side..

😛
 
Originally posted by: isasir
Sure, why not. Just don't meet her w/o her husband and your wife present and all should be fine.
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yeah, if all four of you have dinner, why not?
 
I think a lunch, or dinner is going to be offered from our end. If they accept, great, if not, well, no biggie, we'll just go along our merry way, and not worry about running into them.
 
Just send the friend a message, indicating approximate times of arrival, and inquiring about their availability to meet for dinner. We'll see how it is received from that end. My wife had no problems with it when I just mentioned it to her.

:beer: for all who put in their 2 cents.
 
do you still love her? if both of you were still single would you want something to happen? if you are friends then it should be fine. just don't be alone with her.
 
what's the point? if you bump into them, then shoot the breeze. if not, oh well. you both have your own lives now.
 
if you really want to see her, then fine. both of you are married, but if there are lingering feelings, you should really tread that path carefully.
 
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