Do I visit an old friend ...

[Patt]

Here's the situation:

In 1995/96 I met, and quasi-dated this woman in a strange long distance sort of way. We spent about 9 months together, before mutually deciding we were meant to be friends and that the distance precluded anything else. I've seen her once or twice since then, and have occasional email contact, though not for at least two years now.

I'm heading on vacation way up north, and I know she lives there with her new husband. My wife and I want to visit her town, but it is small, and would be quite awkward to run into her without previous contact. She knows I know she is there, so would it be rude of me to not contact her ahead of time?

On the flip-side, my wife doesn't seem to have a problem with it, seeing as how we're both married now, but I still don't know for sure whether or not she's being 100% truthful. She trusts me completely though, and shouldn't be too disturbed.

 

[Shawn]

no

 

[isasir]

Sure, why not. Just don't meet her w/o her husband and your wife present and all should be fine.

 

[dug777]

Originally posted by: isasir
Sure, why not. Just don't meet her w/o her husband and your wife present and all should be fine.

 

[Confused]

Originally posted by: isasir
Sure, why not. Just don't meet her w/o her husband and your wife present and all should be fine.

 

[ctcsoft]

uh. uh. BIG FAT NO.

 

[Patt]

As a further quirk ... she was my first, ahem, experience. My wife doesn't know this, not because I'm hiding it or anything, it just hasn't come up.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: ctcsoft
uh. uh. BIG FAT NO.

For what reason?

 

[DainBramaged]

Originally posted by: Patt
As a further quirk ... she was my first, ahem, experience. My wife doesn't know this, not because I'm hiding it or anything, it just hasn't come up.

HELL NO

 

[zixxer]

Originally posted by: DainBramaged

Originally posted by: Patt
As a further quirk ... she was my first, ahem, experience. My wife doesn't know this, not because I'm hiding it or anything, it just hasn't come up.

HELL NO

 

[ggnl]

If your wife and her husband don't care then it shouldn't matter. The relationship was over almost 10 years ago, there's no reason for any parties involved to be awkward/untrusting about it.

 

[radioouman]

Does it matter?

 

[Nitemare]

Swingers?

 

[Patt]

I'm not thinking it matters too much ... just don't want the middle of my vacation to be ruined by something I have some control over. And btw ... DAMN, 10 years ago, age is creeping up on me.

 

[Rock Hydra]

Originally posted by: Patt
As a further quirk ... she was my first, ahem, experience. My wife doesn't know this, not because I'm hiding it or anything, it just hasn't come up.

And it doesn't need to either. For your sake. I'd stay away from visiting your ex.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Swingers?

Um, NO. Don't want to share my wife with anyone, she is all mine.

 

[Nitemare]

Originally posted by: Patt

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Swingers?

Um, NO. Don't want to share my wife with anyone, she is all mine.

4-some?

How did you and the ex meet?

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
4-some?

Same concept gutter-boy. :|

We met while travelling in Europe, then again once we were both back in Canada and struck it up.

 

[waggy]

sure if you were friends why not?

I moved to a small town (around 200 people) and my ex girlfriend just happened to live here.

So me and my wife did the grown up thing. We took oure kids over to play with hers! the kids are going to be going to school together (13 estimated for her kindergarden class). i talk to her all the time.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: waggy
sure if you were friends why not?

I moved to a small town (around 200 people) and my ex girlfriend just happened to live here.

So me and my wife did the grown up thing. We took oure kids over to play with hers! the kids are going to be going to school together (13 estimated for her kindergarden class). i talk to her all the time.

That is pretty cool. :beer: for you guys. If anything our relationship became better when we weren't pressured to be involved, and realized we could just be friends. I suppose I should communicate this to my wife, though it may be a tough sell.

 

[Zorro]

Do not contact her. All i could do is cause problems. What is the chance that you will actaully ruin into her on vac.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: Zorro
Do not contact her. All i could do is cause problems. What is the chance that you will actaully ruin into her on vac.

I'm thinking there is a pretty good chance. We plan on spending a few days around the area she lives in, and her town only has approximately 4000 people. Still a bit of a longshot, but definitely not out of the realm of possibility. If it is anything like the town I live in, there is really only 1 bar to go to, a couple of good restaurants etc.

Part of me wants to see where she is at in life, and part of me thinks everyone would get along without difficulties.

 

[rudder]

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Swingers?

We would need pics first before the ATOT crowd can make that determination.

 

[Patt]

Originally posted by: rudder

Originally posted by: Nitemare
Swingers?

We would need pics first before the ATOT crowd can make that determination.

No pics will happen, so don't bother asking.

 

[allisolm]

Why, out of all the places on the planet to vacation, do you need to go to the one small town where she lives? Just go somewhere else - all problems averted.