Where to start??
Earliest broken bone was my left femur. I was 6 years old and on massively old and huge see-saw in a park with some random kid I met in the Netherlands. I'm not talking one of those small see-saws meant for kids, but the really big metal old ones actually meant for adults. So I'm all the way up in the air when the other kid decides to get off the see-saw. As he is doing it I'm screaming at him to stop and to let me down even before getting off. I see he doesn't even notice me and gets off anyhow. I luckily blacked out during the fall before hitting the ground. My left left ended up underneath me between my body, the edge of the see-saw, and the ground. Crunch with a metal plate there to this day.
Since then I've broken my left radius/ulna a few times. Once during a bike accident and once playing soccer. I've broken my left wrist as well. My left index finger, left ring ringer, and left pinky finger. All a time or two or three. Can't remember them all. Most were hairline fractures that didn't last long except the left ring finger. That one had to be set and is still bumpy looking to this day.
I've broken my left collar bone, same biking accident as my left arm break with the wrist. I I was trying to jump a dumpster and just landed wrong on the other side after clearing the jump.
I also broke my left big toe (don't remember why). I also had my complete left foot crushed and rebuilt. I posted the story on here when it happened I think. Basically I got 5 screws holding my left foot together from having a big fat ass dude squish my foot. That one took a few surgeries to correct.
I've broken my right side brow with a hairline crack and plenty of stitches there. Was playing intramural flag football for the airforce and some Lt was trying to stop me from sacking him. So he tossed out his elbow into my face and caught my right brow just right.
I've ripped my right should labrum off and had to have surgery to fix. I still got 3 anchors with 3 eye hole screws in there all having titanium wire wrapped around it. My shoulder squeaked really loudly like the tinman for a long time. Doesn't do it anymore at least. But it used to like in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5v6QRdOOpI
This happened about 3 years ago. Before that I had dislocated that same shoulder several times over the previous 10 years. All the injuries finally led up to the torn labrum during a volleyball game.
I broke my right arm twice. Radius/ulna and wrist when I was cliff diving in Hawaii. Just hit the water wrong. Wasn't a bad crack at least with nothing needed to be set. I got the most pro-bowl team players that year to sign my cast though as I was doing caddy duty at a few golf ranges while many players were out there. Still have the cast somewhere.
Next break on my right arm came from catching a goal post as a goalie during my senoir year in a practice. Full length dive at full speed to a shot in the corner. I stopped the goal and the goal post stopped me. Crushed the hell out of my right hand, wrist, and arm. Had to have everything set. Biggest ass needle I've ever seen was used on me then. They had to insert the needle between my middle finger and right finger all the way back to my elbow to fill with numbing fluid. This way they could set everything on my arm, wrist, and hand at once. That needle going all the way back there nearly made me faint. Hell that feeling of bone rubbing on bone as they were setting everything also nearly made me faint. At least all the breaks were clean in that accident and I didn't require any surgeries or metal pieces to get it fixed. I was told I was lucky in that respect because breaks like that one usually end up poking through the skin and having massive complications.
Last year of the Airforce I tore my acl and menescus playing intramural soccer. It's why I have disability from the military. I still have some hardware in my knee from the surgeries. Not sure everything in there besides a few pins if there is anything else in there. My knee has never fully recovered though.
I've broken my right foot and several toes on it a few times. Only one incident of the breaks I remember why. I was in Hawaii and stepping out barefoot onto a sand volleyball court. Nothing more than stepping from the grass to the sand and it felt like something stung the shit out of my right foot. I was like "wtf?" and looked at the outside right edge of my right foot but couldn't see anything that looked like it poked or bit me. It was still hurting so I limped off to sit down. I went home and it was still hurting. Nothing thinking much of it I tried to ignore it thinking maybe I pulled something in my foot somehow. I went to school for a whole week limping around while the pain wasn't going away at all. Finally got my parents to take me to the hospital on base. They did an xray and turns out I had broke my foot. It is commonly called a boxer or dancers break on the 5th metatarsal. Comes from a bit too much pressure on that pinky toe bone joint from pivoting to harshly. So into another cast I went.
I had my bottom right rib broken in a fight from a kick there. I tore up the other 4 guys though as it happened in middle school in Hawaii. They all got expelled. When we were all brought into the office of the school, the principal initially thought I was the instigator as I seriously beat the hell out of those 4 local boys. They all had several broken bones, bloodly lips, black eyes, and what not. While I look beat up myself (worst I've ever been beaten up in a fight) I was relatively less so than those 4 "bras." There was enough witnesses for me saying the 4 tried to jump me in the hallway but I beat the crap out of them once they started the fight. So they got expelled and I just went to the doctor to get cleaned up before returning to school later.
Also in Hawaii, I had some idiot kid dump boiling/steaming hot water on the right side of my neck. Caused second degree burns. Luckily I didn't need a skin graft but I was in massive pain for a good month from that. Kid ended up going to juvenile detention (never even seen the kid before but he picked me because I was white) and had to go to court to put the kid in JV.
I cut off the tip of my right index finger when my cat jumped on my shoulders scaring the shit out of me while I was opening a package of hottdogs. I posted that story on these forums as well as plenty of nasty pictures when it happened. I had to have a skin graft from the outside edge of my hand to fix it. The finger still looks weird and there is a massive wicked scar on the outside edge of my hand from where they took skin from.
Speaking of plain surgeries and not broken bones. I also had an appendectomy about 10 months ago for surgery. I've had a surgery to fix a torn hernia when I was like 4 or 5. I got really sicked and was coughing so bad I had a hernia from what I was told. I also had massive ear fluid problems growing up. I was mostly deaf for the first 8-9 years of my life. I had my tonsils, adenoids, other surgeries in that area many times during those years. I had tubes put in, taken out, put back in countless times. Doctors thought I might have permanent ear damage and may never hear right. Then one day it all went away. I still had to have years of speech therapy because I couldn't speak worth shit. I spoke like how a deaf person would speak as a young kid learning. Let me tell you the amount of fights I had as a kid because I talked like that.... On a positive note, there was no permanent ear damage to be found from what I know. I hear just fine now and better than most I know my age.
As for stitches and cuts, I've been stabbed once in the left arm blocking an attack against friend of mine in a bar brawl on Halloween night in Austin about 15 years ago. Idiot friend of mine start the fight and almost got stabbed to death from behind. I saw it and got my arm in the way so I took the hit and it sliced open the top of my left arm instead of going into his lung. The guy was lucky I didn't get to retaliate as that was when the cops all showed up finally. Somehow I was able to talk our way out of it and none of us ended up in jail that night.
I can't think of any other more major injuries I've had right now off the top of my head. I'm pretty sure I'm missing some of them.
