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disciplining a sophomore

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7window said:
His phone is the minutes so the usage is maybe 3 minutes a whole month. now it's zero
1st semester is 3.0 gpa
He missed 12 homeworks since spring break between 3 subjects. gpa now is 1.2
video game is only on saturdays. now it's no games at all
he spends most of the time at library studying. no, he's lying
He is good in studying on his own and very independent. obviously not
Lately just overwhelmed and procastinating.
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This
 
7window said:
He is not focus. He did the same last year and lost interest towards this time.
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I wouldn't discount depression. It can manifest itself in many ways that don't involve moping around the house.

Otherwise, maybe he's bored with the work. Why not ask him what the deal is. You may be surprised with a straight answer. He might not be cut out for school. Maybe a trade would be better suited to him.
 
Let sjust put this plain and simple before it gets out of hand....

It's a sophomore. Disciplining is over. You cannot take stuff away as punishment. Does not work any more. They are not 5.

You are an adult with knowledge, he/she is about to become one. Only thing you can do is teach them. There are many ways you can teach them. By example, by talking to them, by showing them the consequences of their decisions. If they decide to listen, good. If not, you have to let them fail so they can learn. There is to much emphasis on making there kids not fail. Guess what, if they do not learn to fail, they will not learn about the consequences of failing and they will never learn to deal with failure, which will happen whether they like it or not.
 
lxskllr said:
I wouldn't discount depression. It can manifest itself in many ways that don't involve moping around the house.

Otherwise, maybe he's bored with the work. Why not ask him what the deal is. You may be surprised with a straight answer. He might not be cut out for school. Maybe a trade would be better suited to him.
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the answer I got was he got overwhelmed with homework. We are always available for help.
 
He's probably going through what most people his age are going through, he stopped giving a shit about HS because he figured out it's all a game that he doesn't seem interested in playing. Pointless busywork in a large majority of classes. What he hasn't figured out is that you have to play the game to succeed later in life.. but right now with his age, the future doesn't really matter to him yet.

The answer isn't just to simply take shit away, that's an awful motivation technique from lazy parents that will only fuel his discontent with the world around him even more. The answer is to be honest with your son and explain that while it seems that things aren't important now, they will be later in life and you just want what's best for him. Just be straight up about it, if you don't pull your shit together and play the game and make the grades you need to get into the next game (college) then you'll be at a huge disadvantage later in life when the time comes. If he does not respect you enough by this point to listen to you then it's already too late and he'll have to fall on his own and learn from it.
 
waggy said:
find out why they aren't. are they to busy with work, sports or friends? do they have a learning disablity?

if its friends, work or sports make them cut back on them. IF it takes takeing away the car, TV , CELL phone etc do it.

don't hestiate to check the homework and get daily letters from the teachers (if the teacher gives a shit).

those that say "you can't" i feel for your kids..
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best response.
 
Platypus said:
He's probably going through what most people his age are going through, he stopped giving a shit about HS because he figured out it's all a game that he doesn't seem interested in playing. Pointless busywork in a large majority of classes. What he hasn't figured out is that you have to play the game to succeed later in life.. but right now with his age, the future doesn't really matter to him yet.

The answer isn't just to simply take shit away, that's an awful motivation technique from lazy parents that will only fuel his discontent with the world around him even more. The answer is to be honest with your son and explain that while it seems that things aren't important now, they will be later in life and you just want what's best for him. Just be straight up about it, if you don't pull your shit together and play the game and make the grades you need to get into the next game (college) then you'll be at a huge disadvantage later in life when the time comes. If he does not respect you enough by this point to listen to you then it's already too late and he'll have to fall on his own and learn from it.
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He is a good kid a a lot of adult and friends really like him.
 
7window said:
He is a good kid a a lot of adult and friends really like him.
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No one is saying he isn't a good kid but the issue here is motivation, work ethic and character. Clearly his actions show he doesn't care about his school work. As a parent it's your responsibility to show him why he should care.
 
7window said:
teachers are no help. Its like pulling teeth from this guys. Beginning of school the teachers always tell you they are available but when you start emailing them you get no response.
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You should start with talking to your child first. If you are getting nowhere with that, pick up the phone and call their teachers instead of sending emails. If his teachers are anything like most the ones I had in HS, they couldn't hardly give a shit less about the students.
 
Platypus said:
He's probably going through what most people his age are going through, he stopped giving a shit about HS because he figured out it's all a game that he doesn't seem interested in playing. Pointless busywork in a large majority of classes. What he hasn't figured out is that you have to play the game to succeed later in life.. but right now with his age, the future doesn't really matter to him yet.

The answer isn't just to simply take shit away, that's an awful motivation technique from lazy parents that will only fuel his discontent with the world around him even more. The answer is to be honest with your son and explain that while it seems that things aren't important now, they will be later in life and you just want what's best for him. Just be straight up about it, if you don't pull your shit together and play the game and make the grades you need to get into the next game (college) then you'll be at a huge disadvantage later in life when the time comes. If he does not respect you enough by this point to listen to you then it's already too late and he'll have to fall on his own and learn from it.
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This

sourceninja said:
My father took me to work with him. I had to clean diesel engine parts. I got paid 7 bucks an hour. I was knee deep in gunk, acid, water, and who knows what.

A few months later after the horrible back breaking work with him as my supervisor he asked me if I wanted to work like that the rest of my life or get an education.
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Plus, doing what SourceNinja recommended is good. He needs to learn what the consequences of his actions are. He doesn't realize that he might be digging ditches or cleaning engine parts for $7 an hour for the rest of his life.

Things are too comfy for him right now. He needs a hard dose of reality.
 
highland145 said:
Quote: Originally Posted by 7window teachers are no help. Its like pulling teeth from this guys. Beginning of school the teachers always tell you they are available but when you start emailing them you get no response.

Show up.
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Definitely. Emailing teachers is a horrible way to approach. Get your butt onsite and talk to them in person.
 
Platypus said:
No one is saying he isn't a good kid but the issue here is motivation, work ethic and character. Clearly his actions show he doesn't care about his school work. As a parent it's your responsibility to show him why he should care.
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Thanks!! Have told this so many times but I guess i have to remind him again.
 
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