Diet for kids

[NAC]

Often parents complain that their kids have a bad diet. I’ve struggled with this, and my wife and I need to continue to work on it. But for the most part I’m happy to say my kids eat pretty well. I think you can work on diet correct it. My girls (7 & 9) certainly eat better than almost all of their friends. I think diet is an important responsibility for parents, which many caring parents basically ignore. Well – usually they ignore it for themselves as well as their kids.

You are the parent. You are in control. You can decide what is available to eat and what isn’t. In my opinion and experience, the main reason a child doesn’t eat well is in order to exert control and have power. So – make sure you give her some control & power through choice, but make sure you set the ground rules. Also – make sure they can exert control and power away from the dinner table so that food doesn’t become such a big deal. Obviously – within the guidelines you set.

Make sure you as a parent eat healthy and talk about how much you like things as you eat them. In my opinion, I also freely comment when something isn’t good – these are overcooked, this is dry etc. And I encourage specific feedback from my kids. They can say something is dry… but I don’t really allow feedback like “this is disgusting”.

Set a basic rule like – you need to try a little bit of everything. But also allowing them to make decisions, like the child saying “I hate broccoli” – well, sometimes you just have to let her make that decision and never have to taste broccoli again. BUT after a few months you can cook broccoli a different way and put some on his/her plate and say – oh I forgot – but you might want to try this because it is really yummy this way.

Add to the variety of foods – if they only know broccoli and brussels sprouts but refuse one or both you are in trouble. If you introduce 12 different veggies and cook them different ways then they can still exert power, but also decide they like some of them. Allow them to make decisions – you have to eat the broccoli or carrots. You can even say, perhaps as a white lie, that you don’t like something. Surprise – your kid(s) may suddenly decide they love Brussels sprouts because the parent doesn’t!

Just gradually correct the diet. Start with 3 pieces of veggies on their plate, make sure they taste one. Then 4 pieces. Then more. Get them used to having the food on their plates even if they don’t eat all of it. Start with a few veggies with cheese sauce or similar, then reduce the sauces and increase variety. Just like most things in life- as long as you get a little better every week, after a year you’ll really get somewhere.


Suggestions / thoughts?

 

[vi edit]

About the only thing I can say is that all kids are different, YMMV, and that past performances may not predict future results.

I know you made this as a side conversation to another topic I made. With my picky eater the sad part is that she *USED TO* eat about anything. When she was 2 she would eat broccoli, carrots, chicken that wasn't deep fried, meat loaf, steak, wouldn't throw a fit on anything that remotely looked like a vegetable, ect.

But as she got older her tastes narrowed down to about 6 different things. And she would outright refuse meals out side of that. Trying to engage her in cooking doesn't help. Ignoring her and not making a fuss out of her lack of eating did nothing. She's just a picky, and miserably stubborn kid when it comes to food.

I could make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich 10 times and ask her what way she wants it cut (squares or triangles) and she'll say squares. The 11'th time and I forget to ask and cut it in squares based on past history and you think I had just murdered the family dog in front of her. And she'll refuse to eat it. Or if she does it'll take an hour to do it and we usually have other stuff to do by then and it gets tossed.

My kid refuses to eat any chicken that's not deep fried. Won't touch pasta with any sort of sauce on it. Won't touch any other sort of meal with a sauce short of a couple hamburger helper dishes. Won't touch anything that has anything remotely vegetable like looking flake on it (it's game over if a dried parsley flake gets on a piece of garlic bread).

It's just fucking misery and I'm ready to put a bullet in my head at most dinner times.

 

[NAC]

Kids definitely go through similar stages. I think most little kids – age 2 or so – eat everything. And then at about 3 or 4 they start looking at food very closely and are much more cautious. I remember having the same thought back then – that they USED to eat everything… but suddenly didn’t. I don’t recall the exact developmental phases.

I send kids from the table if they are mis-behaving – whether it is about food or not. So – they don’t necessarily have to eat the garlic bread with a piece of parsley, but they cannot throw a fit just because it is there. And if they do – go to your room until you calm down. Same for the sandwich shape.

You know, now that I think about it – perhaps 4 is just the peak of pickiness & tantrums, and your daughter will get better with time. Because everything you wrote I can relate to. At the same time – I recommend you keep trying and not just give up. And pick your battles – I don’t care if they have pasta with or without sauce, but do insist they eat a carrot or some vegetable. Or – perhaps a carrot is not necessary, but it certainly is necessary before ice cream.

I have a friend, very caring parents, but their kids eat only like 4 things, none of it healthy. I think they gave up. When any of their girls are at our house – they have to follow our rules – for example have to try a piece of broccoli. Although to be honest we will avoid serving anything exotic when they are over. But they do follow the rules, and they do eat better at my house than their own.

 

[rga]

About the only thing I can say is that all kids are different, YMMV, and that past performances may not predict future results.

I know you made this as a side conversation to another topic I made. With my picky eater the sad part is that she *USED TO* eat about anything. When she was 2 she would eat broccoli, carrots, chicken that wasn't deep fried, meat loaf, steak, wouldn't throw a fit on anything that remotely looked like a vegetable, ect.

But as she got older her tastes narrowed down to about 6 different things. And she would outright refuse meals out side of that. Trying to engage her in cooking doesn't help. Ignoring her and not making a fuss out of her lack of eating did nothing. She's just a picky, and miserably stubborn kid when it comes to food.

I could make her a peanut butter and jelly sandwich 10 times and ask her what way she wants it cut (squares or triangles) and she'll say squares. The 11'th time and I forget to ask and cut it in squares based on past history and you think I had just murdered the family dog in front of her. And she'll refuse to eat it. Or if she does it'll take an hour to do it and we usually have other stuff to do by then and it gets tossed.

My kid refuses to eat any chicken that's not deep fried. Won't touch pasta with any sort of sauce on it. Won't touch any other sort of meal with a sauce short of a couple hamburger helper dishes. Won't touch anything that has anything remotely vegetable like looking flake on it (it's game over if a dried parsley flake gets on a piece of garlic bread).

It's just fucking misery and I'm ready to put a bullet in my head at most dinner times.

Do you eat the stuff you're asking her to eat in front of her?

 

[vi edit]

Do you eat the stuff you're asking her to eat in front of her?

Absolutely. It's not like I'm forcing my kid to eat a plate of broccoli and then turning around and having a cheeseburger and potato chips myself. Or asking her to eat some crazy wild dish like whole crawdads or fish with the head still attached. I'm talking basic stuff like pasta alfredo with grilled chicken, or Italian beef, or simple stir fries with mild brown sauces. She won't touch rice. Won't touch any potato products. Won't touch chicken that isn't breaded, and only does that with copious amounts of ranch. Forget carrots, broccoli, any sort of green bean except ones out of a can, or anything remotely leafy & green.

 

[Phanuel]

Any reason you don't just let them starve for being stubborn idiots? That's how my parents did it.

 

[rga]

Any reason you don't just let them starve for being stubborn idiots? That's how my parents did it.

Lol mine too! Well, I'm not 100% sure about that. My father never let me leave the table until I finished my meal. I would try to wait him out, but he always won. If only I could've held out a little bit longer...

But this also made me realize that the food I was so afraid to eat wasn't actually that bad, or at least, not as bad as it is when it gets cold from me trying to beat my father in a wait-it-out contest. Lol.

Really though, most of the things I detested as a kid I now eat in copious amounts. Some foods though - particularly liver - I have never grown accustomed to, no matter how it's cooked.

 

[Phanuel]

Lol mine too! Well, I'm not 100% sure about that. My father never let me leave the table until I finished my meal. I would try to wait him out, but he always won. If only I could've held out a little bit longer...

But this also made me realize that the food I was so afraid to eat wasn't actually that bad, or at least, not as bad as it is when it gets cold from me trying to beat my father in a wait-it-out contest. Lol.

Really though, most of the things I detested as a kid I now eat in copious amounts. Some foods though - particularly liver - I have never grown accustomed to, no matter how it's cooked.

I was in the best shape of my life as a kid because all I was fed was tons of veggies and proteins. And because I didn't want to eat 50% of the weird stuff my parents would make, I wasn't able to be a gluttonous pig.

 

[KIAman]

Junk is marketed towards kids.

Period.

Unless you cut your child off from the world, you will have issues getting them to eat healthy.

Best way is by example. When you eat it, make it look like you haven't eaten weeks and this is the first meal you have ever eaten.

Children are dumb. They will be curious why you think the food is so good.

They will copy you.

 

[vi edit]

Children are dumb. They will be curious why you think the food is so good.

I don't agree there, and my own experience does not agree with it either. When my wife and I order Chinese food (and I do the terrible for you deep fried stuff like orange chicken) I hit that plate like it's my last meal on earth.

My kid won't touch it. Take a couple pieces of orange chicken which is basically a chicken nugget with a sugary sauce on it and put it on a plate in front of her and she'll stare at it 2 hours before she's sent to bed.

Same thing with Indian food. I'll have my plate cleaned up in minutes of it being served and she won't touch it.

Kids aren't dumb. They are self aware little beings that are capable of making their own choices. Now whether those choices are in their own best interest is of debate...but they can make up their minds on some things and that is that.

She's mostly a good kid outside of food and well behaved. But dinner times suck.

 

[KIAman]

I don't agree there, and my own experience does not agree with it either. When my wife and I order Chinese food (and I do the terrible for you deep fried stuff like orange chicken) I hit that plate like it's my last meal on earth.

My kid won't touch it. Take a couple pieces of orange chicken which is basically a chicken nugget with a sugary sauce on it and put it on a plate in front of her and she'll stare at it 2 hours before she's sent to bed.

Same thing with Indian food. I'll have my plate cleaned up in minutes of it being served and she won't touch it.

Kids aren't dumb. They are self aware little beings that are capable of making their own choices. Now whether those choices are in their own best interest is of debate...but they can make up their minds on some things and that is that.

She's mostly a good kid outside of food and well behaved. But dinner times suck.

I should have clarified that whatever food you eat, should be the only food available to them. They will eventually eat the food and learn to enjoy being nourished. Unless there is an allergy or an extreme aversion, EVERY taste can be acquired. Do you remember liking your first cup of coffee or tea or (insert whatever item you didn't like at first here).

I am sure you are a great parent but trust me, you haven't gone far enough.

Think back in the times when manufactured food wasn't readily available and people had to make do with home made food grown on their own hands. I don't recall episodes of children dying en masse because they didn't like to eat their food.

And when I said "kids are dumb" I'm generalizing the fact that we, as parents, are infinately more intelligent than them and should act like it until they become an adult. Don't ever give them reason for thinking otherwise.

 

[SociallyChallenged]

I should have clarified that whatever food you eat, should be the only food available to them. They will eventually eat the food and learn to enjoy being nourished. Unless there is an allergy or an extreme aversion, EVERY taste can be acquired. Do you remember liking your first cup of coffee or tea or (insert whatever item you didn't like at first here).

I am sure you are a great parent but trust me, you haven't gone far enough.

Think back in the times when manufactured food wasn't readily available and people had to make do with home made food grown on their own hands. I don't recall episodes of children dying en masse because they didn't like to eat their food.

And when I said "kids are dumb" I'm generalizing the fact that we, as parents, are infinately more intelligent than them and should act like it until they become an adult. Don't ever give them reason for thinking otherwise.

It's interesting. In my school, we get taught to deal with kids with a lot of disabilities. Sensory integration issues are partially within my field. Taste aversion is a sub-sect of that, which is less in my field. However, I've read research that shows kids (especially those with sensory integration issues) must be presented a food something like 50 times (I think it was 50. Either way it was an enormous number) before you can truly know if they are don't like that particular food or if they just don't like it because it's new and different. It's a chore to get anywhere close to that, but it's something to think about. Keep trying, parents!

 

[kalrith]

Do you eat the stuff you're asking her to eat in front of her?

IMO, it must be this way. If I tell my son to eat healthy foods but I actually eat junk food, then my son is going to listen to my actions rather than my words.

Any reason you don't just let them starve for being stubborn idiots? That's how my parents did it.

That's how we do it. Partially I've been blessed with a son who eats everything (except tomatoes), and partially we've always had the rule that he eats what we eat or nothing at all. If we go out to a restaurant and he doesn't eat what his parents order, he doesn't get a different food when we get home. If he doesn't eat well at dinner, he doesn't get a snack before bedtime just because he's hungry.

He's the only 3yo I know that will eat pretty much anything (he doesn't like overly spicy food or tomatoes). Every friend of mine has problems with getting their kids to eat, and some of them go so far as to make a meal for the kid and a meal for the rest of the family.

At that point, I think it's not just about food; it's about teaching the kid that they don't have to be grateful for what they have because mommy and daddy will provide something else. My wife and I each have a sibling who was spoiled and still see the ramifications of that today (on both us and the siblings). We're trying very hard to raise a son that's thankful for whatever he has, and being thankful for whatever food we have is a big part of that IMO.

 

[NAC]

Every friend of mine has problems with getting their kids to eat, and some of them go so far as to make a meal for the kid and a meal for the rest of the family.

At that point, I think it's not just about food; it's about teaching the kid that they don't have to be grateful for what they have because mommy and daddy will provide something else. My wife and I each have a sibling who was spoiled and still see the ramifications of that today (on both us and the siblings). We're trying very hard to raise a son that's thankful for whatever he has, and being thankful for whatever food we have is a big part of that IMO.

I think you raise a good point, and I agree 95%. I just occasionally make exceptions like:

Similar to what you wrote, my kids don't like spicy food. I don't really consider that a problem - I let them decide that. So if I want spicy food, I might make a separate dish for them. Often it is easier to make one non-spicy disk and just keep some peppers or hot sauce on the side and add it just to my plate.

Another scenario - I sometimes let them decide they don't like a food at all. Say broccoli. So if we make that broccoli, we’ll also have carrots for the kid to eat instead. Note that is just an occasional exception, and I think it allows me to strike a balance in the constant power struggle.