Describe the worst coworker(s) you ever had?

[Ichinisan]

I once worked with a very incompetent physicist. We were never sure if his degree was real. One memory- He was doing maintenance on a linear accelerator which involves taking output measurements using a water tank. The tank has adjustable feet so you can level it to the water. Instead he tried to level the water by pouring it on one side of the tank. Yeah, that level of incompetence.

 

[Muse]

Surveying/engineering is full of drug addicts and alcoholics, and that's not getting into the dumbasses and weirdos. I don't have the patience to type it all out on a cell phone.

Well, when you get to your computer and keyboard, I want a full report.

It's all fun and games until you have to start applying sunscreen. That's what killed it for me: knowing that every second I spent outside during prime daylight hours was one step closer to skin cancer and prematurely aged skin. Or you could ignore it like most of the people I worked with... they all had leather for skin in their 50s.

Yeah, I get that. I play golf, but have been teeing off at dawn and am off by 9:30AM. Besides playing 3-3.5 hour rounds (instead of 4.5-5 hours), it saves my skin.

 

[boomerang]

Had a co-worker that would exhibit some behavior that some thought funny and some realized was far beyond what is considered normal. I was in the latter group. It's important to understand first off that this was in a manufacturing environment with few if any women and that there was a union involved. The stories are nearly unbelievable but I assure you that they are totally true and one of many that I could relate.

The most bizarre behavior I witnessed out of this guy was the day he removed his pants while going commando and ran back and forth down the top of a series of workbenches clucking like a chicken with his dick swinging around. No management was present, they were all in a meeting so nothing came of it although in the grand scheme of things nothing would have come of it anyway. Keep in mind that this was maybe 35 years ago.

Flash forward to maybe five years later. I had left the department, transferring to a related department. Guess who transferred in about a year later? Chicken clucker. Now understand that this guy never did a lick of work and with union protection, it was never an issue. Management didn't like it, but their hands were tied. We were tradespeople with no quotas to be met and as such he pretty much had free rein.

It came to pass that him and I were the sole two people in our little group on the afternoon shift. Things were starting to change and management had become emboldened. They started to lean on him. After several confrontations, this co-worker stated that the reason he could not perform any work was that people from a related department were coming in and out of our caged in area (which was as the system was designed) and distracting him from getting any work done. When asked what he thought the answer to the situation was, he stated that the area we were in needed to have the sliding door closed (the door also served as part of the cage) and locked with a pass-through window installed. We could then provide the tooling needed through that window without people walking around in our area.

Management did it. So now, I was literally locked in a cage with a mentally ill co-worker. But, that was only when he was actually present. We had some CNC equipment we used for sharpening cutting tools and he would index in a cutter at the start of the shift, close the doors, set it at the maximum number of cycles at the slowest speed (and with the wheel never touching the tool) and start it up. The coolant would swirl around such that nothing could be seen inside the machine. At the end of the shift he would stop the machine, take out the cutter and put it back with the dull ones. Day after day after day.

He was tight with the union boys and would have them call him out about once a week for "union business" (he held no position with the union) and he would usually not show up at all at least a couple days out of each month.

A general supervisor stopped me one day to talk about the situation and stated that this co-worker had been trying to get out on a permanent disability for many years but that they refused to grant it. I told him that he not only had never and by all indications would never perform any work, he was distracting other people from doing their work. I asked if they had taken that into consideration.

Three weeks later the co-worker was gone. His permanent disability had been granted. The guy had about 20 years in the place at that time. 20 years of that kind of crap going on. He later sued the company but management had the kind of gag order on them like I had never seen prior. Nobody, and I mean nobody would talk about it. What became of that, I do not know.

 

[Muse]

Other than the usual cadre of people having sex at work and taking drugs while working there are two that stick in my mind.

I worked with a guy who walked in on a manager (old guy), getting a BJ from his newlywed secretary(not to him), she was 19 he was 50ish. She was a new hire and we all knew she really needed the job. He reported it and the manager was moved laterally. He should have been fired.

I once worked with a very incompetent physicist. We were never sure if his degree was real. One memory- He was doing maintenance on a linear accelerator which involves taking output measurements using a water tank. The tank has adjustable feet so you can level it to the water. Instead he tried to level the water by pouring it on one side of the tank. Yeah, that level of incompetence.

I don't remember ever encountering people having sex on the job. I suppose it was going on behind my back, occasionally.

The story about the linear accelerator reminds me of a summer job, it was at a particle accelerator, at Harvard, the Cambridge Electron Accelerator. I was between semesters at U.C. Berkeley, where I was a physics major. One of my tasks was doing radiation surveys while the accelerator was down, and I got concerned and did a bunch of research on radiation, just to make sure I was safe. One of the guys I worked with was a guy from Kenya (black African) who was temporarily studying at Harvard and we struck up a friendship. After work, we'd go drinking ale in local pubs, he introduced me to this practice. We went on a trip to NYC (where I had relatives) and on the occasion of my 21st birthday (I turned 21 at midnight), we were at a party in Queens. There were many Africans there and they all sang me "Happy Birthday" at midnight, it was quite a moment. A few minutes later, my Kenyan friend (in the company of another black guy) says they want to go back to my car to get a bottle of liquor they'd left in it, and asks for the car keys, and I give them to him. He does not return and I spend the next few hours waiting there getting more and more anxious. Turns out they'd taken the car for a spin, gotten in an accident. I next see him in the hospital, he's being wheeled down a corridor on a gurney, is looking up at me, we didn't either of us say a word and tears are coming from his eyes. That's the last I ever saw him. My car was repaired by a company in Brooklyn, but I was told that it never should have been repaired and I never drove it again, the frame had been bent and it did not warrant repair (IOW, the company that "fixed" it pulled a fast one). I wound up flying back to the west coast instead of driving. Not a great year, that was just one of the disasters. Uh, I've never given my car keys to anyone since, IIRC!

 

[clamum]

I had a colleague once in NJ, fresh of the boat from India. (I'm from India too, so there's no racial bias here; he just was the most memorable character I knew).

Once both of us had to go on a work trip together to LA, for some software installation and stuff. We were booked into a 'guest house' the client had arranged, which was only an apartment with just the two of us. He was a clock-watcher, so he quit real early the first day while I was at the office till close to midnight trying to finish off the job. Finally when I reach the apartment, I found that he had locked himself in, and refused to let me in. I spoke to him thru the door, trying to convince him to open the door so I could come in, but he was adamant that he had no obligation to open the door so late in the night, and that it was my fault I was late, and it was very unsafe to open the door so late in the night, and that too in a dangerous city like LA. I had to call our supervisor in NJ (3am her time) so she could call him and order him to open the door for me. He tried to argue with her, but she was in a sore mood by then, and told him to either open the door or pack his bags and go to the airport to head back to India !

I have dozens of stories more about him like these, but the thing is that I found out he was just the same when in India too. His colleagues were so happy when he left for the US.

Now that right there is a 4-star jerk. Awesome story. And trying to argue with the boss about it!

I think more than jerk he had absolutely no social skills (from this story and from what the poster said about him otherwise). Either way, "shake my head"-worthy!

 

[Guurn]

The worst sex story about coworkers quickly then- Working in a Level 1 trauma center as an x-ray tech in the old days with film processors and dark rooms. We didn't notice them entering the darkroom but it quickly got obvious and very loud, like porno loud. Now remember, this is a busy place and it was during the day. There were probably 8-12 people standing not far from there. After they finished, because no one was going in there during, she came out first and had....evidence all over her pants. He exited a few minutes later and started talking to the other techs. He didn't even try to clean up or slink away. Repercussions, none.

 

[Markbnj]

Instead he tried to level the water by pouring it on one side of the tank. Yeah, that level of incompetence.

That's just... almost impossible to believe.

 

[TraumaRN]

While I've many bad coworkers from various hospitals two in particular stands out because both had a literal agenda against me. Was working as an ER nurse at the time.

It started because I was reading a book on my break. The book was called the Atheist guide to Christmas. Great funny book even if you're a believer. Anyways she apparently took offense and took it out of my bag later in the shift parading it around to all the staff that'd listen about how immoral and wrong it was for me to read this book at work and that what would the patients think if they knew I was reading such things. She then went to my manager and tried to get me written up for it. My manager at the time didn't write me up but agreed it was "inappropriate" to read and sent me to HR. HR was thankfully a bit more open and reminded both my manager and this coworker that their behavior could be seen as religious discrimination.

So all seemed settled until a few months later I suddenly get pulled into the office, get handed a write up and informed I'm suspended without pay until HR figures out if I should keep my job for violating company Internet policy. Turns out this same coworker used someone else's Facebook account (who was my fb friend) to see what was on my wall. What she found was two jokes I'd posted on my wall. They were jokes a doctor had told me(not offensive in any way) and I simply said "thanks to doctor so in so for the jokes" apparently this was an illegal use of the Internet because I named one of our doctors. I lost 1.5 weeks of pay and only after an appeal to the hospital CEO and HR was I allowed to keep my job. HR at least warned the coworker that if she pulled such a thing again she'd be fired immediately because they thought she was targeting me...which she was.

Fast forward a year and a management position that I was easily qualified for opened up and I applied for it. My manager pulls me in the office says "because of your past actions and beliefs you're just not cut out to be a manager," and went on to explain that if she was my manager she'd make sure to turn down any attempt I made for management. Luckily for me I had an ace in the hole and found another manager willing to endorse me and about 14 months ago I got my current job. I'm a manager with even more rank than my old manager, but thankfully work at a different site.

 

[Guurn]

That's just... almost impossible to believe.

There are many stories about him and even more about that place of employment. Mostly harmless and funny thankfully. For instance when we had pot lucks he would bring old stale mostly empty bags of chips and 2 liter bottles of soda that were about 1/3 full and flat.

 

[DigDog]

I once worked with a very incompetent physicist. We were never sure if his degree was real. One memory- He was doing maintenance on a linear accelerator which involves taking output measurements using a water tank. The tank has adjustable feet so you can level it to the water. Instead he tried to level the water by pouring it on one side of the tank. Yeah, that level of incompetence.

waht

 

[lxskllr]

waht

That works if you get the water cold enough.

 

[Imp]

It started because I was reading a book on my break. The book was called the Atheist guide to Christmas. Great funny book even if you're a believer. Anyways she apparently took offense and took it out of my bag later in the shift parading it around to all the staff that'd listen about how immoral and wrong it was for me to read this book at work and that what would the patients think if they knew I was reading such things. She then went to my manager and tried to get me written up for it. My manager at the time didn't write me up but agreed it was "inappropriate" to read and sent me to HR. HR was thankfully a bit more open and reminded both my manager and this coworker that their behavior could be seen as religious discrimination.

...

They were clearly doing the Lords work. Death to the disbeliever... or in this case, persecute using passive-aggressive tactics like lodge various complaints with HR.

 

[John Connor]

Got into a conversation over lunch break about news for some reason and this idiot tries to tell me I should watch CNN instead of Fox, that they are non biased and all this shit.

We had a radio in the warehouse and this guy would play the most fucked up reggae music I ever heard. That shit was awful and it made my shift suck all the more.

I got the felling on my fisrt day that my co-workers were pot smoking, far-left hemp wearing, pretentious douche bags. Lasted 7 whole months though! I quit that shit. Never did promote me to computer dismantling like I wanted. My reviews were always good and the manager told me not to tell anyone about my raise since I was new and got handed 75 cents.

At a job I'm pretty much gung ho, strive to do 110% and to be a team member to the best of my abilities. Twice I was offered a higher position, but declined since I did not want the responsibility. I mean it's your ass if shit don't go right. Thanks, but no thanks.

 

[John Connor]

It started because I was reading a book on my break. The book was called the Atheist guide to Christmas. Great funny book even if you're a believer. Anyways she apparently took offense and took it out of my bag later in the shift parading it around to all the staff that'd listen...

That is fucked up. No one should take someone's property and declare my word is greater than yours. Even though I'm spiritual (to a point) I believe in personal religious freedoms. My faith is not better than yours is my belief system. And there in lies the BS with a vast majority of religion. Just gives Christians and Christian-like religons a bad name. Like cops and over-reaching law BS you see now a days. The good cops get the shaft.

So all seemed settled until a few months later I suddenly get pulled into the office, get handed a write up and informed I'm suspended without pay until HR figures out if I should keep my job for violating company Internet policy.

Shit... I worked for a really great company and GE was also in the same building. Unbeknownst to me on my break I would use the Internet in the break room downstairs, but this break room was GE's break room! Well, we had this nosy ass security guard who seen me in there and told my superior. Next day I go to use my RFID card to get into the building and the door wouldn't open. Luckly the other guy walking in at the same time held the door for me (some security). Once I went downstairs to the office to clock in my superior says, "how did you get in here?" I was like what? He told me I had been terminated. I was dumfounded and couldn't understand why. He proceed to tell me that I was caught by the security guard using GE's precious computer in their break room and it could be considered "industrial espionage" or some dumb ass shit. Long story short the bastards never did call me or anything to tell me I was terminated and I had stuff in my locker. To this day that grabass manager still works there. Not sure about the security guard.

 

[DrPizza]

I was an instructor for developmentally and physically disabled adults for a few years. The managers at the location I worked at were notoriously useless and the primary cause of horrible morale. For the most part, it was a dead end job; I'm glad I'm out of that place. But, when I was there, I took my position seriously and provided the best I could for those individuals I cared for each day. I had one female in my classroom, early 20's. She had contractures in her arms/wrists/hands and legs as a result of cerebral palsy. Due to this, per her doctor, her care included putting splints on to help keep her muscles stretched. Not putting them on would lead to even worse contractures in the future. Her doctor's orders were to put them on a certain number of times each day; twice while she was at her day program, then again in the evening at home (run by the same agency). It didn't take long before I noticed that her splints were returned in her bag exactly as they were packed when they were sent home. So, I rearranged how I put them away - leg splints in on top, arm splints on the bottom. They came back the next morning the same way. So, I went to my supervisor to report this - it's a case of neglect. He said he'd follow up, and he did. "I called the home and they have a log book that says they put them on." "They didn't. They're lying on the log book - they were never removed from her bag last night." So, after complaining again the next day, he called the home again. "They assured me that they put them on every night and signed the log book. Their word is good enough for me." So, the next day, the splints came back, rearranged in a most bizarre manner in the bag that made no sense. You would take them off one at a time - why would half of a leg splint be matched with half of an arm splint? So, my aide and I devised a plan to prove it - we put a large cornflake under the cushion in one of the splints. If the splint was worn, the cornflake would very easily break - it would harmlessly be crushed into dust. So, the next day, the splints came back, obviously rearranged in the bag in an unnatural manner. We took the doctored splint out and took a look - the cornflake was still intact. I went immediately to my supervisor to report neglect again.

*I* was chewed out for being unprofessional. Those who know me have never heard me get mad before. If you ask my kids how many times I raised my voice when they were growing up - almost never. People heard me that day. That was the point where I knew I needed to move on.

She died a year or so after I left, still in her 20's. Her life, I'm convinced, cut short by neglectful staff in her home, and management who didn't want to make waves.

It's been almost 20 years ago - that supervisor is now a politician involved in local politics.

 

[John Connor]

I was an instructor for developmentally and physically disabled adults for a few years. The managers at the location I worked at were notoriously useless and the primary cause of horrible morale. For the most part, it was a dead end job; I'm glad I'm out of that place. But, when I was there, I took my position seriously and provided the best I could for those individuals I cared for each day. I had one female in my classroom, early 20's. She had contractures in her arms/wrists/hands and legs as a result of cerebral palsy. Due to this, per her doctor, her care included putting splints on to help keep her muscles stretched. Not putting them on would lead to even worse contractures in the future. Her doctor's orders were to put them on a certain number of times each day; twice while she was at her day program, then again in the evening at home (run by the same agency). It didn't take long before I noticed that her splints were returned in her bag exactly as they were packed when they were sent home. So, I rearranged how I put them away - leg splints in on top, arm splints on the bottom. They came back the next morning the same way. So, I went to my supervisor to report this - it's a case of neglect. He said he'd follow up, and he did. "I called the home and they have a log book that says they put them on." "They didn't. They're lying on the log book - they were never removed from her bag last night." So, after complaining again the next day, he called the home again. "They assured me that they put them on every night and signed the log book. Their word is good enough for me." So, the next day, the splints came back, rearranged in a most bizarre manner in the bag that made no sense. You would take them off one at a time - why would half of a leg splint be matched with half of an arm splint? So, my aide and I devised a plan to prove it - we put a large cornflake under the cushion in one of the splints. If the splint was worn, the cornflake would very easily break - it would harmlessly be crushed into dust. So, the next day, the splints came back, obviously rearranged in the bag in an unnatural manner. We took the doctored splint out and took a look - the cornflake was still intact. I went immediately to my supervisor to report neglect again.

*I* was chewed out for being unprofessional. Those who know me have never heard me get mad before. If you ask my kids how many times I raised my voice when they were growing up - almost never. People heard me that day. That was the point where I knew I needed to move on.

She died a year or so after I left, still in her 20's. Her life, I'm convinced, cut short by neglectful staff in her home, and management who didn't want to make waves.

It's been almost 20 years ago - that supervisor is now a politician involved in local politics.

My mom currently works at an old folks home and she tells me of all the BS she puts up with. I mean shit that state would be on your ass about. If people only knew about the sheer lack of real care the elderly get at this place they would not be in business. And to think I imagine this happens in damn near all of America's nursing homes.

 

[OutHouse]

This guy would regularly update, reboot or work on machines without checking with anyone

i would never let an intern anywhere near my production servers.

 

[OutHouse]

While I've many bad coworkers from various hospitals two in particular stands out because both had a literal agenda against me. Was working as an ER nurse at the time.

It started because I was reading a book on my break. The book was called the Atheist guide to Christmas. Great funny book even if you're a believer. Anyways she apparently took offense and took it out of my bag later in the shift parading it around to all the staff that'd listen about how immoral and wrong it was for me to read this book at work and that what would the patients think if they knew I was reading such things. She then went to my manager and tried to get me written up for it. My manager at the time didn't write me up but agreed it was "inappropriate" to read and sent me to HR. HR was thankfully a bit more open and reminded both my manager and this coworker that their behavior could be seen as religious discrimination.

So all seemed settled until a few months later I suddenly get pulled into the office, get handed a write up and informed I'm suspended without pay until HR figures out if I should keep my job for violating company Internet policy. Turns out this same coworker used someone else's Facebook account (who was my fb friend) to see what was on my wall. What she found was two jokes I'd posted on my wall. They were jokes a doctor had told me(not offensive in any way) and I simply said "thanks to doctor so in so for the jokes" apparently this was an illegal use of the Internet because I named one of our doctors. I lost 1.5 weeks of pay and only after an appeal to the hospital CEO and HR was I allowed to keep my job. HR at least warned the coworker that if she pulled such a thing again she'd be fired immediately because they thought she was targeting me...which she was.

Fast forward a year and a management position that I was easily qualified for opened up and I applied for it. My manager pulls me in the office says "because of your past actions and beliefs you're just not cut out to be a manager," and went on to explain that if she was my manager she'd make sure to turn down any attempt I made for management. Luckily for me I had an ace in the hole and found another manager willing to endorse me and about 14 months ago I got my current job. I'm a manager with even more rank than my old manager, but thankfully work at a different site.

fuck me. what is it with people wanting to mess with peoples income just because they dont like you. I am so lucky i dont have drama like that in my office.

 

[OutHouse]

The worst sex story about coworkers quickly then- Working in a Level 1 trauma center as an x-ray tech in the old days with film processors and dark rooms. We didn't notice them entering the darkroom but it quickly got obvious and very loud, like porno loud. Now remember, this is a busy place and it was during the day. There were probably 8-12 people standing not far from there. After they finished, because no one was going in there during, she came out first and had....evidence all over her pants. He exited a few minutes later and started talking to the other techs. He didn't even try to clean up or slink away. Repercussions, none.

did he come out looking like this?

 

[IGemini]

I know of one or two stories about people having sex where I was working...never saw it for myself.

Back in high school when I did food service I worked with one guy who was inner city elsewhere in NY and out on parole...real winning character, not sure where my manager dug him up. When we didn't have customers he talked up how he wanted to get with any woman who walked in the store, and especially with two of our most attractive workers. The best part was he said he wanted to put a camera in the womans' bathroom to record them taking a dump and flip it as porn online. Total fucking scumbag. No one wanted to work with him, myself and another coworker drew the short straw by virtue of being the largest built who might be able to handle him.

A few weeks after he mentioned the camera he no-showed all of a sudden and no one was really sorry to not see him. The following week the police showed up saying he was wanted in connection with another felony incident, can't remember what it was. He skipped out on his PO and went missing. Not sure what happened to him, hopefully he's been taken out of the gene pool by now.

Having to deal with this guy is probably why I'm not critical of women who happen to find themselves dealing with similar assholes.

 

[kranky]

fuck me. what is it with people wanting to mess with peoples income just because they dont like you.

I think in most cases it's because they are insecure about their own abilities and don't want anyone around who might be more skilled.

 

[TraumaRN]

I think in most cases it's because they are insecure about their own abilities and don't want anyone around who might be more skilled.

In my case I found out extremely rapidly after being promoted that this was the truth with my former boss. Former boss apparently felt threatened by me. And I also found out that said boss only hires "Yes" people. And I'm decidedly not one of those.

 

[Muse]

That works if you get the water cold enough.

The glacier effect.

 

[MongGrel]

It sounds to me like you are very ripe for a career move!

I've actually been out of work for a few months now, but spoke to three people just today about things and even one that knows a guy I used to work with at the Model Shop at Honeywell about 5 years ago.

Might get a real job again soon.

Have several people interested in meeting me one on one next week at any rate.

 

[MongGrel]

In my case I found out extremely rapidly after being promoted that this was the truth with my former boss. Former boss apparently felt threatened by me. And I also found out that said boss only hires "Yes" people. And I'm decidedly not one of those.

That probably has always been one of my problems.

If I do not think something is going to work right I'll say so.

The vast majority of the time in those cases it doesn't.