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Depression sucks...

B

BigToque

Lifer
It's been over 8 months since my ex-gf and I broke up. I still miss her. I want to get back together, she doesn't.

It's very hard to describe the feeling I have. Nothing's wrong, but I feel empty. Very little motivation to do anything, and don't get full enjoyment from anything.

I'm actually starting to get angry at myself that I can't "get over" this relationship.
 
How old are you? What kinds of "activities" can you get involved in to get your mind off of it? Start doing stuff. Keep yourself busy. Time heals all wounds.

Good Luck!
 
Firstly, you're just heart-broken. Don't make it worse by attaching the "depression" label to it. Try to keep yourself busy with school/work/games/et al. You've probably heard all this before, but the only thing that can cure you is time.

The pain doesn't go away overnight, but you learn to live with it.
 
How long were you together? I heard once that it generally takes half the length of time that you were together to get over a relationship ending. But that might have been a bunch of crap, I never really counted.
 
What the others said. You gotta just keep going. I passed the 1-year mark on my fiance leaving me last week, and I still have the empty feeling you talk about, but I would no longer classify myself as depressed (several months of drinking, not paying bills, and really not doing anything other than forcing myself to go to work on weekdays is not a good way to live your life). The more things I do, the more I go out socially, the more I keep myself busy, the happier I am.

Once you can accept the fact that you will never be with her again, it gets easier, but getting to that point is hard, depending on the circumstances of the breakup to begin with. In my case, unfortunately, she left it a bit open-ended, so it took me a lot longer than it should have for me to get it through my thick skull that she was gone for good.
 
Originally posted by: George P Burdell
Firstly, you're just heart-broken. Don't make it worse by attaching the "depression" label to it. Try to keep yourself busy with school/work/games/et al. You've probably heard all this before, but the only thing that can cure you is time.

The pain doesn't go away overnight, but you learn to live with it.
Click to expand...
Great advice!

Too many people nowadays want to fall in the catch-all "i must be depressed" diagnosis.

OP, you aren't clinically depressed, so stop dwelling and get on with your life.
 
Originally posted by: George P Burdell
Firstly, you're just heart-broken. Don't make it worse by attaching the "depression" label to it. Try to keep yourself busy with school/work/games/et al. You've probably heard all this before, but the only thing that can cure you is time.

The pain doesn't go away overnight, but you learn to live with it.
Click to expand...

🙂 Bingo buddy.
 
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: George P Burdell
Firstly, you're just heart-broken. Don't make it worse by attaching the "depression" label to it. Try to keep yourself busy with school/work/games/et al. You've probably heard all this before, but the only thing that can cure you is time.

The pain doesn't go away overnight, but you learn to live with it.
Click to expand...
Great advice!

Too many people nowadays want to fall in the catch-all "i must be depressed" diagnosis.

OP, you aren't clinically depressed, so stop dwelling and get on with your life.
Click to expand...

Considering my family history, I'm quite sure it could be "real". Eight months of feeling numb seems a little excessive to me.

The reason it ended is we both kinda up. When I brought up breaking up, the ex just said she wasn't going to try to convince me to change my mind. We just gave up. That hurts because I've got no reason to say anything bad or anything I can cling to to make me not feel like I should have tried harder.

If I had known it would have been like this I would have just as well hoped she had cheated on me. It would hurt, but I could hate her.
 
Originally posted by: TravisT
Out of curiousity, what color are the clothes you are wearing right now?
Click to expand...

You haven't stumbled onto anything I assure you. I'm wearing blue jeans and a dress shirt.
 
Originally posted by: BigToque
Originally posted by: moshquerade
Originally posted by: George P Burdell
Firstly, you're just heart-broken. Don't make it worse by attaching the "depression" label to it. Try to keep yourself busy with school/work/games/et al. You've probably heard all this before, but the only thing that can cure you is time.

The pain doesn't go away overnight, but you learn to live with it.
Click to expand...
Great advice!

Too many people nowadays want to fall in the catch-all "i must be depressed" diagnosis.

OP, you aren't clinically depressed, so stop dwelling and get on with your life.
Click to expand...

Considering my family history, I'm quite sure it could be "real". Eight months of feeling numb seems a little excessive to me.

The reason it ended is we both kinda up. When I brought up breaking up, the ex just said she wasn't going to try to convince me to change my mind. We just gave up. That hurts because I've got no reason to say anything bad or anything I can cling to to make me not feel like I should have tried harder.

If I had known it would have been like this I would have just as well hoped she had cheated on me. It would hurt, but I could hate her.
Click to expand...
Eh, stop feeling sorry for yourself. :heart:
Don't you have any guy friends you can hang around and do things with?

and the standard suggestions:
Exercising will make you feel better inside and out
Join a volleyball, basketball, bowling league. Take up karate.
Get involved with some volunteer work.
Go to church.
Connect with some friends you've been neglecting.

Look out for yourself - you are your #1.

And finally, being on the computer too much is a source of depression - so get up and get outside.

Don't keep telling yourself you are depressed, and you have a family history of it, because you seem to be talking yourself right into it.

 
Originally posted by: Cookie
How long were you together? I heard once that it generally takes half the length of time that you were together to get over a relationship ending. But that might have been a bunch of crap, I never really counted.
Click to expand...

It took me double once, It was the girl I was positive I wanted to marry.

that rule is a bunch of crap.

Just keep yourself busy young padiwan. Oh yeah, working out helps. Endorphins, YES!
 
Go to the gym
Buy a BMW w/ a nice stereo system
Listen to trance (or whatever u like)

that is how I got over my ex-girlfriend.

but that is just a temporary fix. The gym helped me out the most.
 
Originally posted by: BigToque

The reason it ended is we both kinda up. When I brought up breaking up, the ex just said she wasn't going to try to convince me to change my mind. We just gave up. That hurts because I've got no reason to say anything bad or anything I can cling to to make me not feel like I should have tried harder.
Click to expand...

If she was that indifferent about breaking up, then she did you a favor.
 
It's time to move on. How about a new activity, sport or hobby.

Get out and meet people, If not stay in and play a radical new game.

Keep your mind busy and maybe the hurt will lessen. But, do something else!!!!
 
Old Love
by Eric Clapton and Robert Cray

I can feel your body
When I'm lying in bed
There's too much confusion
Going around through my head

And it makes me so angry
To know that the flame still burns
Why can't I get over?
When will I ever learn?

Old love, leave me alone
Old love, go on home

I can see your face
But I know that it's not real
It's just an illusion
Caused by how I used to feel

And it makes me so angry
To know that the flame will always burn
I'll never get over
I know now that I'll never learn
 
Like Mosh said, exercising makes a world of difference. I was in an emotional black hole when I broke up with my last gf (and it was my choice even), and I started running 3 times a week + doing pushups and crunches. It didn't take long before I started feeling better.
 
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