Depression is real

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Muse

Lifer
Jul 11, 2001
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Good chance the butt hurting is due to lack of muscular stretching and releasing of knots in the muscles. Since you do long endurance exercise and had immobilization due to injury, there's a good chance of "knots" developing without trigger point treatment. When I got a laceration, the awkward position of sleeping left my right shoulder and right forearm way off. A really good trigger point therapist put some pressure on my forearm area and there was a big yeouch of pain.
I didn't let my injuries stop my continued long distance daily skating. I have skated anyway. My leg didn't hurt that much from the fall I took last ~Dec. 19 and my hand injury on Apr. 15 didn't stop me either. I did make a special implement that I carry in my dominant hand that will take the brunt of force from a fall, should I fall. I carry it every time I skate. It looks like a dumbbell but is actually very light.
 

MrSquished

Lifer
Jan 14, 2013
21,188
19,657
136
Yeah, verrrrry not much my experience with CBT, it was about identifying the negative feelings, figuring out the source of them, and then how best to deal with the underlying source of negative feelings.
But I do think it's accurate to say we just need our programming debugged, our brain is just a fleshy computer, it's a system like any other system, something we can use to our advantage.
Yeah it really varies by therapist and practitioner. I have been working with a DBT therapist these last few months, who does a combo of DBT and CBT and she's been great. Definitely a better experience than before
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,411
5,270
136
Yeah it really varies by therapist and practitioner. I have been working with a DBT therapist these last few months, who does a combo of DBT and CBT and she's been great. Definitely a better experience than before

I love CBT talk therapy! I get stuck in the "all or nothing" B&W thinking trap all the time. I use the GBB Approach to deal with it:


I just kind of have to widen my tunnel vision & manually remind myself that there are options. With my ADHD, my brain gets too tired to think through the options, so I operate off emotional rushes & then build things up into task paralysis. Once I understood what I was dealing with, I was able to design up a coping strategy to help me move forward instead of getting stuck on the hamster wheel!
 
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pmv

Lifer
May 30, 2008
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I hope so. I'm headed for the Big 404 soon, it seems. I'm pretty sure that the disrupted sleep, swapped day/night cycles, and "pressure headaches", are because I'm growing something in my brain cavity. Don't know if it's cancerous or benign, but something's in there, and this week, it's getting larger, and it's getting harder for me to cogitate and speak clearly.

BTW, my best friend died in our 20s of a brain tumor.

Edit: It's been fun, peeps. :)

Edit: If I'm gonna die, rather die in my apt., not some hospital, so please, don't send me to one.

Edit: Maybe it's just "brain swelling", and pushing against my slightly-deformed, over-grown skull? I can hope, I guess.

But my mom looked up symptoms of a brain tumor, and I had every one. Plus, I've basically "known" the last three years, as I've watched my genius slip into cognitive decline, and some loss of executive function, hence my hot deals buying addiction.

"Something" is physiologically not right with my brain, and a tumor, given the 1T EMF field that I essentially live in, from my four wifi routers and many, many PCs. (Main LAN is wired, tho.) is not surprising. Especially given the deformations on the outside right / back on my skull, and the pressure I feel inside.


This is for OP:

Even benign brain tumours can grow larger over time, as it turns out (something I didn't know before they found mine). Can also be fatal if not treated in time. But unlike cancerous ones if they get them completely out they aren't very likely to come back, so there's rather a large benefit to getting them diagnosed and treated before it's too late.

Suggest you get an MRI or CT scan. Took me 35 years of complaining about symptoms ("feeling of pressure in my head" being one of many) to get such a thing out of the NHS (because they don't like spending money on expensive tests for rare conditions).

Doctors generally preferred to put it all down to 'anxiety' or 'thinking negative thoughts' and send me for CBT or give me SSRIs (main reason why I have come to really dislike CBT - being told my symptoms were due to my 'irrational negative ideas about the world' by someone who thought the NHS was infallible and the medical profession omniscient...strikes me I wasn't the one in that room who needed to re-examine their beliefs about the world...which is my fundamental problem with CBT - what's the basis for believing people who are suffering in some way - and _only_ them - must be the ones with "irrational" beliefs? CBT seems to be built on that unsupported assumption).

Though I can't even now be sure which of my symptoms were caused by the thing, as it's apparently such a poorly-understood condition that they haven't yet worked out what the typical presenting symptoms even are (though they do seem to know one of them is "sudden death" in 3-10% of cases - which, to me, suggests it was a good thing I ignored the CBT practitioners that said I just needed to think more positive thoughts)
 
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pmv

Lifer
May 30, 2008
13,036
7,964
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I love CBT talk therapy! I get stuck in the "all or nothing" B&W thinking trap all the time. I use the GBB Approach to deal with it:


I just kind of have to widen my tunnel vision & manually remind myself that there are options. With my ADHD, my brain gets too tired to think through the options, so I operate off emotional rushes & then build things up into task paralysis. Once I understood what I was dealing with, I was able to design up a coping strategy to help me move forward instead of getting stuck on the hamster wheel!


I used to get stuck in that same trap all the time. Was the story of my schooldays in particular.

However I never thought CBT was much help in dealing with it, given that in the end all CBT seemed to come down to was telling you to just choose to stop thinking that way. If I could have done that I wouldn't have had a problem in the first place!

Seems to me the way one thinks is hard-wired into your CNS. It's a physical thing, it becomes a basic part of your internal pain and reward system, so I don't see that the way CBT just instructs you to 'choose' not to think like that is really all that useful. It's basically saying 'to solve your problems, just magically rewire yourself and become a different person'
 

MrSquished

Lifer
Jan 14, 2013
21,188
19,657
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I used to get stuck in that same trap all the time. Was the story of my schooldays in particular.

However I never thought CBT was much help in dealing with it, given that in the end all CBT seemed to come down to was telling you to just choose to stop thinking that way. If I could have done that I wouldn't have had a problem in the first place!

Seems to me the way one thinks is hard-wired into your CNS. It's a physical thing, it becomes a basic part of your internal pain and reward system, so I don't see that the way CBT just instructs you to 'choose' not to think like that is really all that useful. It's basically saying 'to solve your problems, just magically rewire yourself and become a different person'
DBT gives you tools to help manage your thoughts and emotions. Read into it
 

Kaido

Elite Member & Kitchen Overlord
Feb 14, 2004
48,411
5,270
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I used to get stuck in that same trap all the time. Was the story of my schooldays in particular.

However I never thought CBT was much help in dealing with it, given that in the end all CBT seemed to come down to was telling you to just choose to stop thinking that way. If I could have done that I wouldn't have had a problem in the first place!

Seems to me the way one thinks is hard-wired into your CNS. It's a physical thing, it becomes a basic part of your internal pain and reward system, so I don't see that the way CBT just instructs you to 'choose' not to think like that is really all that useful. It's basically saying 'to solve your problems, just magically rewire yourself and become a different person'

It's 2 parts:

1. Worldview
2. Energy

This is what I call Push-Pull Motivation: your energy pushes you forward (or puts you in stasis, or sucks you down if you're not feeling good) & the way you think & other mental stimulation (ex. an upcoming activity like a hot date or a new video game release) pulls you forward. CBT helps specifically with a couple dozen cognitive distortions, which nearly everyone suffers from. I only discovered that I was also an HSP in recent years (Highly Sensitive Person), which ties exactly into the CNS portion you mentioned: I have an overly-sensitive central nervous system. Reading Elaine Aron's book was like reading an autobiography:


I also suffer from ADHD, so my dopamine doesn't have a constant flow, which ties in with things like depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and so on. Spoon Theory is a great way to explain my energy states:


I recently discovered that I have HIT (histamine intolerance). Apparently up to 80% of people with ADHD can have HIT! So many of my emotional dysregulation issues have disappeared thanks to HIT treatment, as well as neurological issues. I've experienced brain-fog-free days for the first time in my life:


It took me awhile to learn how to study (really, up to halfway through college...I bombed everything along the way lol!). I have some good resources here:


The core issue is how to convert intentions into reality. When you feel good, you can simply put your mind to it & decide to do things. When your physical, emotional, and mental energy fuel tanks are zapped, then it's hard to engage in self-directed action. I like CBT & the GBB Approach because for me, I tend to get stuck in that "all or nothing" mental state & then get stuck in task paralysis. Really, it's just a cop-out from my brain trying to deal with low mental energy & putting a denver boot on my thinking processes so that I don't burn up my little remaining fuel & then feel even MORE terrible as a result!

CBT didn't solve my HIT, as that was a physically-driven issue (energy) as opposed to a mentally-driven issue (the tools & checklists I use to deal with life), but it's been an essential component in helping me grow to be a more productive & happier person! I've always been jealous of people who enjoy doing physical activities like hiking or can just power through studying or moving their house or doing anything really, because my mind & my body crash so easily. It's tough! But I'm glad there are lots of great tools available out there. I just wish I didn't have to be my own health advocate for finding them!! Like, just learning that most people don't deal with the same debilitating fatigue I grew up with was pretty mind-blowing!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ChronicIll...i_finally_understand_how_people_work_through/
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
72,406
6,079
126
This thread is very depressing. It's depressing to see so many people suffering. It also presents a dilemma. What if a person like some here express that all hope for them has ended and they know for a fact they will always be miserable and there is no exit except death? And what if the absolute certainty of that fact broke some inner damn and everything changed in an instant and ever since suffering went away, giving way to an inner peace?

I remember very well what I thought of people who said there was hope. I would want them to die, to share my misery. It can't happen to me is what I believed . But it does seem to happen to some:


Merry Christmas.

I believe that depression is based of a feeling of loss that is too painful to ordinarily remember, but if searched for with honesty in a therapeutic situation can rise to conscious awareness. We are not supposed to express those kinds of feelings in public. They imply weakness or even insanity. So what.

Do you know the story of the Indian chief Bowels who would not move to the reservation? They fed him enough laxatives until he said OK. One thing misery does grant us and that is a sense of meaning. It happened that my own misery was greater than anyone else's. I'd hate to give that up, right. Hopelessness is hopelessness and in real hopelessness there can be no benefit to being more hopeless than anybody else. If you want to escape you have to seek. Why do you suffer? What are you missing? What have you lost? To feel is to arrive at a sympathy for the pain you feel. You did not want to hurt and it wasn't your fault.
 
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pmv

Lifer
May 30, 2008
13,036
7,964
136
DBT gives you tools to help manage your thoughts and emotions. Read into it

Maybe - I've heard mention of DBT before. But I'm a bit disenchanted with the mental health industry at this point. Too many bad experiences with it. I've come to see it as being to our era what the Catholic church was to medieval times. An ideology with a priesthood and a flock. And as with any church, much of that priesthood are on power-trips.

Besides, I've long since learned to work round the problematic personality traits that caused me endless grief back in my school days.

That 'all or nothing thinking' wasn't 100% bad, it got me decent academic qualifications despite going to what I suspect have been one of the crappest schools in the country.

In my opinion 'mental health' puts a bit too much weight on what goes on in the minds of individuals, and ignores how important the wider social and economic context is. A lot of 'mental health' problems can be cured with the application of sufficiently large amounts of money.
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
72,406
6,079
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I always laughed at people saying they are depressed. "Cheer the fuck up" "smile". I apologize to everyone now when I said that. Shit is real. It's brutal and I have no idea how to get out of it.
Let us look at this if you are willing to explore with me if an exit is possible. It is all going to be just what I think I see. You can take it or leave it or if not interested just stop reading here. So in my opinion:

First there is the matter of your previous 'cheer the fuck up attitude'. That is not a product of callous indifference. Actually it is a reaction of anger created by fear. You are now aware of what it was that you actually feared, taking seriously a subject, the subject of depression, because any such discussion could potentially move you closer to the state of depression you now realize you are experiencing. It was there then but you were not aware of feeling it.

Depression isn't so much something you catch, but something you lose the capacity to keep out of conscious awareness. But to fall into a state of existential questioning is to take a step in the direction of better mental health. It is a journey of self understanding of the roots of suffering. What makes it difficult is that it is, as you now know, a journey that leads first down into hell.

There is no relief for this. In the Apocrypha, I have heard, Jesus says, did you but suffer you would not suffer. Modern Psychology of the kind I was fortunate enough to become aware of, makes the same case. So don't get all worked up about a religious reference. Existential questions have plagued people for thousands of years, probably since we started using words to communicate ideas. They are the real subjects of religion, myth, secret societies, and all manner of schools of mysticism. The antagonism toward those who suffer unaware that they do to those who seek freedom, is ancient as well. Jesus, for example, willingly gave his life as an example of what happens to people who claim that the Kingdom of Heaven is within.

Remember, in order to discuss this matter I have as illistrations pointing to this problem, only those things we may share as a part of our culture. Many of those are relics of existential knowledge contained in the Christian religion. That was a path that got me started with questioning but it was Zen that saved me so to speak. More about that later.

So the first item of good news then, is that down is up. As my psychologist put it, we are in a capsized boat and have to swim down first to surface. We need to go into our feelings, to find out what we really feel. You are not aware of feeling depressed. To go into the why will bring more awareness of hidden inner pain.

When I lost faith in religion and realized the universe is empty, that there was no hope for anything good, for any salvation for children who die and never get to know a full life, my life weent black. Life has no meaning.

Let me ask you, then, if you decided to read this, how you would characterize the nature of your depression?
 

Moonbeam

Elite Member
Nov 24, 1999
72,406
6,079
126
For those who simply feel cursed with genes cause abnormal chemical of some unfortunate kind, that their black moods are chemistry based, the question arises, if chemicals cause mood could it be that mood creates chemicals? If a pill can alter mental states can altering mental states manufacture the psychoactive chemicals in the pill?

Perhaps treating mood to to alter chemistry,then, should go hand in hand with all of the progress and research going on that is chemically helping people to find relief.

Some interesting news here:

 

Captante

Lifer
Oct 20, 2003
30,273
10,777
136
It could be the drinking water / fresh produce in a certain area that may be deficient in lithium.


Yeah.... I'll pass on the gratuitous psych-drugs in my drinking water thanks! (no matter how much big-brother approves "for my safety" lol)

:D :oops:
 
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Jul 27, 2020
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Yeah.... I'll pass on the gratuitous psych-drugs in my drinking water thanks! (no matter how much big-brother approves "for my safety" lol)

:D :oops:
I wasn't really advocating adding Lithium to drinking water. Just that Lithium may be the answer to some people's depression. I was too lazy to research more and just posted the first link that seemed OK to me. I don't wanna research depression. I may find out that I'm depressed too and then start licking Lithium lollipops!
 
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