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Delicate work situation - how to handle properly?

yh125d

yh125d

Diamond Member
Long story short, a coworker has a regular habit of going on extremely bigoted rants using many curse words and the worst slurs. Quite frankly I don't give a fuck about cursing but when he says stuff like... (in regards to the Trayvon Martin case) "we should be killing the all the fucking n******s anyways"...


Yeah. That's what I'm dealing with here.


I work in a small office of ~15 people, where most everyone here is either bigoted in a somewhat similar fashion (although less extreme) or tolerant of that sort of talk

I am not tolerant of it. At all.


To my knowledge, noone either coworker or boss has said anything to him, although when he said that one particular remark I said "That's about enough of that!" as I walked past.

Everytime this happens, every couple weeks probably, it makes my blood absolutely boil. I'm afraid to confront him both because he's a senior guy and I'm not really in a position to do that, and just because I'm bad at it.

I want to tell my boss the situation in an e-mail (I'm very bad when discussing stuff this important to me and infuriating face to face), but would love some advice on how to approach it properly. I'm still a young guy, kinda new with inter-office etiquette, and I don't want the situation not to be handled properly because I screwed up. I do believe my boss is a reasonable man and will agree with and support me that that sort of talk is absolutely unacceptable in the workplace.

I don't know, I'm just so frustrated right now. I'm writing this after another rant and can't really think straight

halp, more experienced/level-headed folks? Would love input if anyone here works in HR



Oh also, my company is in the process of being bought out, so in the future I will have an HR department that I should be able to make formal complaints to
 
If this guy truly goes off on rants like that every couple of weeks, the boss already knows and has chosen not to do anything. Either he is afraid to confront this idiot, or he agrees with the idiot.

In this case, I would wait it out until you have an actual HR department and then bring it to their attention.
 
It sounds like you haven't learned to agree to disagree with some people. There will always be people you don't get along with in the work place. If this has been going on for a long time, and the person is senior, you will be putting yourself in a bad position. I don't disagree that the bigoted remarks are terrible. I just think that, in a company that small, you will likely be making a powerful enemy.

Oh also, my company is in the process of being bought out, so in the future I will have an HR department that I should be able to make formal complaints to
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It sounds like you should be patient and let the situation work itself out when you have an HR department with the new company.
 
Where do you live/work that the majority of people are bigots? I feel really bad for you. I wouldn't know what to do either. I guess work for you probably feels a lot like coming on ATOT, right?
 
Tulsa. My office consists mostly of age 50+ lifelong christians raised in the 50s/60s in small town Oklahoma. There are a few younger guys in their 20s but they are all religious and bigoted as well. There is one other guy my age who I can tell from his facebook that he feels the same as I (atheist, totally non-racist/homophobic/xenohpobic) although I haven't talked the subject with him, and about 4 people I don't know about, but who certainly haven't expressed any sort of disagreement that I am aware of
 
If you can get a new job, get one. Otherwise, as others have said, everyone knows the guy does it and nothing has happened, so they are like minded. Complaining about it will only get you on the sh1t list.
 
That's not acceptable. Tell the asshole to keep his racist opinions to himself. If he doesn't, go to the boss. If he is hesitant to say anything to the asshole. Tell him a harassment lawsuit is way more expensive than clamping down on Bubba.

It's the same situation as women being sexually harassed. Don't be the schmuck who 'goes along to get along.' If you do, you're as guilty as the asshole is. Don't wait for an HR dept. to handle it for you. Be a man and do the right thing.
 
MagnusTheBrewer said:
Screw that. The OP's situation qualifies as a "hostile work environment" and is against the law.
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But you would need the other employees to back you, and it doesn't look like they would or someone would have said something by now. No HR dept, so no record of complaints. Maybe the OP could send and email to his boss and CC it to a notary or something, but you need to establish a history of behavior, or its just your word against his, and the boss. One of the lawyers here could chime in to see how this process would play out.
 
You could ironically point out his idiocy. Start ranting and raving about the damn honkeys and how theyre always profilin and out to get you. See if he gets it.
 
Mind your own buisness. Do your job and collect your paycheck. If you hate working with rednecks/bigoted trailerpark trash, move out of tulsa.
 
Childs said:
But you would need the other employees to back you, and it doesn't look like they would or someone would have said something by now. No HR dept, so no record of complaints. Maybe the OP could send and email to his boss and CC it to a notary or something, but you need to establish a history of behavior, or its just your word against his, and the boss. One of the lawyers here could chime in to see how this process would play out.
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It does help to keep records. However, doing so only aids in winning. The records can be a simple as noting dates and situations/comments etc. in a notebook and a history of complaints to management. The real cost is in bringing suit in the first place. Win or lose, it costs the company way more than clamping down on Bubba. Of course, I'm assuming they're intelligent enough to understand that.
 
Hugo Drax said:
Mind your own buisness. Do your job and collect your paycheck. If you hate working with rednecks/bigoted trailerpark trash, move out of tulsa.
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Or, you could be a man and make them move out.

That kinda crap isn't acceptable in the work place. Everyone's entitles to their own wrong beliefs, voicing them in the work place makes it my business and I'll damn well let them know it.
 
Don't do anything until you've calmed down enough to think straight.

Then talk to your boss about it, face to face. If he's as reasonable as you think he is, he'll support you. And he'll respect you a lot more than if you have to hide behind an email.
 
While it's terrible that this happens, the boss is probably use to it if this person does it often. If it bothered me that much, I would just quit. No independent Human Resources department means nobody is going to give a damn about the new guy complaining.
 
That's amazing. Someone here was warned for saying "fingering" it was in front of a customer, but still. A person would be frog-marched out of the building for using the N word like that.

I suggest moving along. Sure complain to HR, but even if HR can keep a lid on it do you want to work with people like that?
 
thegimp03 said:
While it's terrible that this happens, the boss is probably use to it if this person does it often. If it bothered me that much, I would just quit. No independent Human Resources department means nobody is going to give a damn about the new guy complaining.
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It may indeed come down to leaving or being fired but, the point is what circumstances are you willing to put up with before you take a stand? The situation is pretty clear cut for me. What would make you say whoa? Personally being sexually harassed? Personally being bypassed for promotion due to skin color, age or, sexual orientation? Is there anything that would make you stick your neck out? I really want to know. Way too many people seem to adopt the "I go to work just so I can live my life when I'm not at work" attitude.
 
MagnusTheBrewer said:
It does help to keep records. However, doing so only aids in winning. The records can be a simple as noting dates and situations/comments etc. in a notebook and a history of complaints to management. The real cost is in bringing suit in the first place. Win or lose, it costs the company way more than clamping down on Bubba. Of course, I'm assuming they're intelligent enough to understand that.
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does the OP have the money to pay for the lawyer??? they arent free you know. to what end would this serve, he would still be out of a job either way and without a big payday which wont happen there is no purpose in suing.

just keep your mouth shut and start looking for another job.
 
tell them your coming out of the closet and have been recording their conversations for the last year for a documentary.
 
You don't have to file a complaint to your boss in person. In fact a conversation is the worst way to handle these types of things because they don't leave a paper trail.

Simply tell your boss about the repeated incidents and that it makes you uncomfortable.

If they fail to do anything and it happens again. Complain again. If nothing happens file an EEOC complaint.

Once they fire you(they sound like they are idiots), file an EEOC retaliation complaint.
 
yh125d said:
Tulsa. My office consists mostly of age 50+ lifelong christians raised in the 50s/60s in small town Oklahoma. There are a few younger guys in their 20s but they are all religious and bigoted as well. There is one other guy my age who I can tell from his facebook that he feels the same as I (atheist, totally non-racist/homophobic/xenohpobic) although I haven't talked the subject with him, and about 4 people I don't know about, but who certainly haven't expressed any sort of disagreement that I am aware of
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I worked in tulsa for a year and can definately see where you are coming from.


Dont forget Tulsa has a deep history of racism. Look at the mass riots and burning of the ENTIRE ethnic area of the city in the 20s.

Anecdotally I had a rich donor at a fundraiser ask me if mario was a mexican name or italian name. She then clarified that she only curious because she has a hard time telling us apart.
 
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