I have just received a PM from a fellow ATer and obviously I will obey the "private" in PM.
I am posting a generic reply here, in hopes that it can help others and even perpetrate a discussion.
Here's the thing; regardless of what sex you are, confidence is always good. In today's day and age we live in a crazy world whereby bouts of depression and low self-confidence prevail, and certainly everyone is entitled to periodic episodes. However, you must look inside yourself and try to look for positives. Afterall, if you yourself think you're worthless and good-for-nothing, why would a girl or guy want you?
You have to sell yourself! I sometimes see a couple together and they might both be ugly, or be a hot guy and ugly girl, or ugly guy with hot girl, or both hot. And sometimes when I'm having a shallow moment I will think to myself, "How the hell did that girl end up with him" (or vice versa)...and then I start to ration it out and pick out great qualities. "She is a nice dresser" or "He has a nice smile regardless" .... It doesn't matter that one might be overweight or this or that. Personalities are key, warmth, and the level of ease at which you find yourself with a person.
In the past I've been attracted to those who might not necessarily be the hottest guy, but he treats me like a princess or he makes me laugh or I just feel a great rapport with him. And I know I am not the cutest girl out there contrary to popular belief (
) but I am told constantly how funny I am, how I have great skin, or great teeth, or great eyes, or a smile...maybe even my hair. Ask a couple what attracted them to each other in the first place and chances are it will be something quirky; something that they never saw in a person before. Whatever makes you stand out shall be your secret weapon.
And, having spoken my piece on this, remember that my word is not the law regardless of my vast experience. Every person is different; every situation is different. Timing is a great factor in relationships and when things are right, they will happen for you!
I am posting a generic reply here, in hopes that it can help others and even perpetrate a discussion.
Here's the thing; regardless of what sex you are, confidence is always good. In today's day and age we live in a crazy world whereby bouts of depression and low self-confidence prevail, and certainly everyone is entitled to periodic episodes. However, you must look inside yourself and try to look for positives. Afterall, if you yourself think you're worthless and good-for-nothing, why would a girl or guy want you?
You have to sell yourself! I sometimes see a couple together and they might both be ugly, or be a hot guy and ugly girl, or ugly guy with hot girl, or both hot. And sometimes when I'm having a shallow moment I will think to myself, "How the hell did that girl end up with him" (or vice versa)...and then I start to ration it out and pick out great qualities. "She is a nice dresser" or "He has a nice smile regardless" .... It doesn't matter that one might be overweight or this or that. Personalities are key, warmth, and the level of ease at which you find yourself with a person.
In the past I've been attracted to those who might not necessarily be the hottest guy, but he treats me like a princess or he makes me laugh or I just feel a great rapport with him. And I know I am not the cutest girl out there contrary to popular belief (
) but I am told constantly how funny I am, how I have great skin, or great teeth, or great eyes, or a smile...maybe even my hair. Ask a couple what attracted them to each other in the first place and chances are it will be something quirky; something that they never saw in a person before. Whatever makes you stand out shall be your secret weapon. And, having spoken my piece on this, remember that my word is not the law regardless of my vast experience. Every person is different; every situation is different. Timing is a great factor in relationships and when things are right, they will happen for you!
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