Your right. We do. I believe that having children personally invest in their education is one of the best things a parent can do for their child. My parents gave me that lesson. At the time I was too young and immature to understand it, but over time I came to understand that making me pay for most of my college education was a really good life lesson. Not to mention it gave me a really good incentive to do as well as possible in college.
And FWIW, an 18 year old is NOT a child. Not in the eyes of the law, and not in the eyes of most of humanity. Hell, 50-60 years ago most 18 year olds were expected to move out of their parents house, get a job, and start supporting themselves. That expectation was not in some backward hillbilly third world country. It was right here in the USA. The only thing that has changed in the last 60 or so years is the EXPECTATIONS of young people. They grew up in an era of unprecedented good times, and so have come to expect that the world should be their oyster. but news flash, it ain't. You gotta work for what you want. And, in the case of college, you gotta pay for it.
Rising tuition cost is a problem. I agree with you there. But the solution to that problem ABSOLUTELY IS NOT forcing parents to pay for their kids college tuition. I mean what is next? Should the government FORCE parents to house their children until they get a job, no matter how old they are, because housing is a right? Should the government FORCE parents to buy their kids a car, because transportation is now a right? Should the government FORCE parents to pay for their kid to play on a travel sports team regardless of cost, because all kids should have access to sports at whatever level they want to play at?
I seriously cannot believe how friggin much people in this country seem to want the government to control their lives.
Finally - Like health care, a college education is not a right. And an expensive college education is definitely not a right. People need to stop treating it like one. You want free/cheap education? There are options available. GI bill, community college, some public schools, etc. The fact that you might not like them does not mean they are not good options.
I completely agree. College is an investment of time and money made at the beginning of adulthood for the benefit of all the years afterwards. If a person is not willing to sacrifice and work to pay for that investment, then I don't feel it's the right option for them, and handing it to them is damaging to them, and to society overall - I would rather have a more motivated student in that seat.
As for rising tuition costs, there definitely needs to be an increase in financial aid funding well beyond what has been occurring, it seems like that is falling behind the tuition increases. Second, I think a lot of the inflation is also demand outgrowing supply; the number of applicants for every seat at major universities is huge, for many majors in the hundreds. This allows tuition to grow until not enough students can afford it, which would definitely be a negative situation for society. The solution is to fund faster growth in the supply so that there are more positions available for students.
It's for this reason that I would like nothing more than to help my kids get through university without eating fishsticks, rice, and ramen. It's pretty simple really. Study and get good grades and you get my help. Don't study and I cut you off. Go to trade school or get a PhD. As long as you're good at it and like it I'll help. I'm a realist though. Costs for a college education are out of control. We can compare wages and make a cost-benefit analysis but I can make it real simple for you: It's free in other countries. You don't even have to hold citizenship in a number of them.
I decided to cut out a long discussion on my own background - quick summary, my parents let me share a room with my brother and eat with the family provided I maintained a 3.8 or better GPA and did a number of chores. I was responsible for my transportation, clothes, and all school expenses. I worked weekends doing construction, and studied after that, I had no relationships until grad school (which was so nice to have so much free time!) I feel that by making my college education something I had to personally sacrifice for in terms of time, money, and social status helped mold me into a stronger more productive person. I attribute my current success (as much as I have) to those lessons.
That's pretty close to my plans for my kids - I will not give them a dime for tuition costs, that is their responsibility. I am willing to reward them for hard work, and dedication by helping them with housing, food and transportation. But it will be very clear that my help is a reward, a benefit from their hard work, not given for nothing, and not to be expected. I may even be willing to pay off their loans once they graduate, but that will be something not mentioned until after. They have to be willing to make that sacrifice on their own, with no expectation that the world is going to hand it to them.
Which leads back to the opening situation:
McGarvey said in court that her daughter left after refusing to do chores and follow a curfew, and that she had problems with underage drinking.
Alcohol and school are a stupid mix, and my kids will get one chance to make that mistake before being cut off. Further, contributing to chores around the house is simply part of a roommate agreement, if she had moved in with other roommates and failed to meet her responsibilities they would kick her out, why not her parents?
She said her parents had a "nothing will ever be good enough" mentality, saying that when she received two A's, one B, and one C one semester at the community college, her parents grew upset.
I would be upset about that result as well, though one semester of failure wouldn't be enough to convince me to end funding, but continued poor performance would.
So my problem here is that I see a situation where parents made some offer of support, but the daughter abused it and they withdrew the support. And now she has used the legal system to FORCE that support. That's where I disagree with this, college is not a right, and should not be something an adult can demand from their parents.
I think this was the key exchange where I agree with the parents:
At other points during Monday's hearing, Shusted reminded Caitlyn Ricci's parents that she was a young adult capable of making her own decisions.
"It's her life," Shusted said.
"Then let her pay for it," Michael Ricci, a senior account manager, said.
If a person wants to be treated as an adult and make their own decisions, then they can damned well pay for the consequences of those decisions.
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