Dating boss' daughter. Bad situation?

[Descartes]

I've been seeing this girl who happens to be the daughter of the president of my company. Not to mention, she's friends with our director. Needless to say, I think I'm in a bad situation. I knew early on that she was his daughter, but felt there was no harm in having conversation, etc.. (we're all 'friends' here). Well, as it turns out, there was conversation among coworkers about our "dating status." I felt that we were just friends, but I feel that her feelings are deeper than that (she told me). If something were to happen between us, I would surely feel the wrath from above. I play a critical role in this company, so I'm not worried about being terminated, I'm just worried about perception (need respect among coworkers), and maintaining that level of professionalism.

Anyone been in a similar situation? I think I've pretty much put the noose around my neck at this point. Comments welcome.

 

[Isla]

Do NOT have sex with her unless you are married to her or planning on marrying her.

I know a lot of you will roll your eyes at this, but unless you want to find a new job (or risk being blacklisted!) you need to remember that she was his little girl once and won't think too kindly of you if you hurt her.

That said, you can enjoy a social relationship... just keep your clothes on, no matter what she says! Trust me, if you get involved sexually and things go bad, you will regret it.

BTW, I think this applies to all relationships, but I'm just an old-fashioned old lady.

Just my .02

edit: of course you can be replaced! No offense, but your position is tenative no matter how important it may seem.

 

[Fearlss1]

OMG i have done this and WoW.. WHat a feeling. I actually ended our relationship while still working there. H0lY Sh1ty poo did that suck.. OMG I have never been so uncofortable in my life, I woudl back out asap, and as nicly as possibly. Its my opinion for you " GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN" hehehh not that you woudl be terminated but the feeling of what peps are saying includung the Boss.. sheesh I coudlnt handle that. SO actually I left the compnay so she actually won ....

<edit/>OMG attack of the Aliens<edit/>

 

[Viper GTS]

Choose one or the other, whichever's more important to you.

Otherwise you're playing with fire. Or something else that I can't mention on here...



Viper GTS

 

[tinneric]

Let me tell you from past experience that this is a bad deal. Stay away, my ex is daughter of my FORMER employer. It is not worth it unless you plan to change jobs.

 

[Total Refected Power]

Yup, everyone above is correct.

 

[Scrapster]

Do you like your job? If so, don't do it.

Unless she's really really really rrrreeeaaaallllllllyyyyyyy HOT!



Scrapster

 

[kranky]

Here's one more person piling on the bandwagon.

This is not good. If you think it's hard to back out now, it's only going to get worse. So bite the bullet. Could you just get gradually &quot;busier&quot; and unavailable until she drifts away of her own accord?

I would give the same advice for dating at work even if it wasn't the boss' daughter.

 

[Zenmervolt]

I'd have to agree with Isla over everyone else. You can be a friend, just don't get physically involved. I ought to tell you though, that when people tell me something &quot;can't be done&quot; my first response is usually &quot;we'll see about that.&quot;

Zenmervolt

 

[Raspewtin]

I dated the boss's niece once in a place I used to work, and suddenly got transferred to &quot;no man's land.&quot; Each boss is different I guess; Isla's advice seems the best course IMO.

 

[Descartes]

Isla: She's adamant to having sex until she's married (no, I didn't try to coerce her ). At this point, however, I think even a social relationship may be pushing it a little too far.

She's presently in Australia, and won't return for another 5 months. I can't say I hope the feelings she has for me dwindles, but it sure would make things easier. I guess I'm just worried that, at this point, even distancing myself would result in an uncomfortable situation. Our company is very much like a family, and so we're all very close. I guess I'll just have to wait and see...

I curse my charm! hehe

 

[I'm Typing]

Find another job NOW, before the owner has a chance to fire you. The possibility that you lose your job will be SLIGHTLY less if you are working somewhere else when you dump her.



























You ARE going to dump her, right??????

 

[ManSnake]

Fret not, take the relationship to the next level, don't let this opportunity slip you by, now is the time for you to climb the corporate ladder! If you treat her right, you might be promoted to a manager in no time. After all she is the president's daughter, didn't you say??

 

[Descartes]

I'm not worried about being terminated. Her father is a very good man, and I am essentially the only person involved with this company that has the intellectual property regarding our product (e-commerce/backoffice system integration platform).

&quot;dumping her&quot; would probably result in a less than optimal state for me, so I'll have to look for other means.

 

Rule 1,
never date people you work with.

 

[Descartes]

SammySon: Used to be my #1 rule as well. As naive as it may sound, I thought we were just friends. I've never been physical with her in any way, never alluded to the idea of a &quot;relationship&quot;, etc..

At some of my previous employers, they actually made me sign a no coworker fraternization contract.

 

[neecho]

is she hot? if so, i'd do her.

It's just a job..you can always get another one.

 

[Descartes]

Perhaps to some it's just a job, but I'm not working at McDonald's here... this is my career.

 

[MadCowMax]

How to play office politics:

A)CYA (Cover Your Ass). This could involve making sure your intellectual property is yours and if you can figure out a way to take it with you or prove that they are using it without your expressed permission, etc. This one is too long to draw out but ya get the picture.
B)If indeed you are able to find out with 99% certainty do it the guy's way. Do something to make her break up with you!
C)When she does, act depressed and walk around mummbling. Something like, &quot;I can't believe she dumped me&quot;.
D)Never execute A around witnesses other than your closest and most loyal confidants.

 

[Isla]

Well Frost, you really are in a bit of a jam....

You are just going to have to take it day by day.

How old is she, BTW?

If she's in her 20's she will probably move on eventually... very few women know exactly what they want out of life before they hit 28.... some do, but it is rare.

 

[fallenoncrack]

*The relationship Doctor is in dah house*

Depends if you love her and where you 2 work at.

If you work at the local Mcdonalds then GO FOR IT.

If you work for a company that you want a future with then date with caution.


For you Frost, no worries, but beware, we are ALL replaceable!!!!

 

[Adul]

No wonder I went for an older and wiser women has my wife and i am very happy i met her.

 

[Descartes]

Isla: I myself am 20, and she's a bit younger. Perhaps the initial attraction to me was because the youngest person at my company besides me is 28.

She's incredibly intelligent, and that's why I was drawn to her in the first place (in a platonic way). It's hard to find good conversation these days. I imagine she'll move on, I just hope that it's not w/ an animosity for me, as that could prove to be very uncomfortable at office functions.

I'll just have to play it by ear... ugh.

 

[blurredvision]

I dated the assitant manager at my last job, and needless to say I didn't work there for no more than a month after we broke up. Be careful.

 

[Ayla]

There are some things you might want to consider before making this decision.

1.) Is she &quot;Daddy's spoiled little brat&quot;? This could cause a big conflict, if yes. Not during the dating, but after the breakup. If not, and she is independant of Dad. Then this MIGHT not be a problem.

2.) Dating a co-worker is hard regardless of the family situation. Some company policies do not allow this, some don't mind (as long as they don't know about it). Which brings me to #3.

3.) If you do decide to date her, are both of you mature enough to separate work and personal? If you have a fight on Saturday night, can you show up to work on Monday and still work together, and forget about the disagreement until 5:00pm on Monday? This is the critical one. If you can do this, then it just might work. But, if you do break-up, how do you think you might feel working with her afterward?

Take it slow, and don't let it show (at work).

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