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Dating a girl who looks really young? *update 2*

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ok dude here is one thing I'm noticing tha twill continue to occur for you.

When you are asking a girl out on a date you are doing a number of things to set things off in the WRONG direction.

1) you are giving her the power to reject you, use you, play mind games with you etc....
2) you are setting up the "courtship" frame in her head. This will mean she will come to expect you to pay for lavish dates and pour gifts on her and in the mean time she is banging some random guy who's never bought her sh1t. Why should she let you get any poon if she is already reaping all the rewards? "officially" asking out a girl is a sure fire way to never get anywhere sexually unless you absolutely click like she's the one.

What can you do about it?

The good news is you can have more success without dating.

Some suggestions for non-dates:

1) talk over some coffee. Even if you pay for her coffee which i wouldnt do its gonna cost you 5 bucks tops and it gives you a great opportunity to screen her. Yes thats important to recognize, YOU ARE DOING THE EVALUATING NOT HER! YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

2) Tell her you need to do some shopping(all girls love shopping) and that you want a female opinion and ask for her to tag along.

3) tell her you and your friends are going out drinking and she can meet you there if she wants to come along

these are just some ways to propose time together without it being a date.

If things go well after a couple of these "outings" you will know it because she will begin to persue you! which is what you want isn't it?

Chasing girls and dating is for suckerz and chumps. You don't have to be one.

oN A positive note I can appreciate that you are being realistic with this, identifying your weak areas opf your game and improving upon them(fear of rejection is a huge hurdle :thumbsup😉

Keep at it man you'll only get better. Just don't let yourself fall back to your old ways.

REMEMBER SUPPLICATION = NO ATTRACTION
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
*UPDATE 2*
So she canceled today's date. She said she's not sure if she's ready for "this." I didn't ask her to define "this." I'm bummed, of course... But I removed her from my email address booked, deleted her number, and am moving on... There are plenty of girls out there, I'm just going to get drunk with the boys tonight... Sigh, yes i'm sad.. Yes she was pretty, yes she was a joy to be around. Life goes on though, right?
Click to expand...


Brutal, don't be so emotional and such a quitter! Sounds like you really like her...if she's worried about getting into something too fast...then go slow and don't try and see each other every few days (or even allow it, as it will make her want you more). If you really like her, be cool with it. If you just want to hose her, then spend your efforts elsewhere but it sounds like this could be a better relationship than just hooking up with a loose ho.
 
Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212
Since I got over my fear of rejection I've been asking a lot of girls out and getting rejected left and right. So, yeah, please don't view any of my YAGT threads as either melodramatic or "i want a cookies!" I'm a dork with no fear who gets kicked in the balls by girls alot, this girl is probably the next girl who'll kick me in the balls, but I'm willing and able...

That being said, I really dig this girl and we're having a casual get together on Thursday. I've learned from my past mistakes, thanks to some advice from ATOTs and friends, and specifically said "do you want to go on a date?" and did not just ask her to hang out, which could lead to the "is she a friend or does she like me?" rants I posted here a lot. SOOoo, I'm past that... I learned, I'm moving on.. BUT, here's the kicker.. She looks 12!

I'm 24 and she's 19 going on 20.. Perfectly legal and nothing creepy about it in my POV... But she looks 12... On a bad day with facial hair I can easily pass for 30 (i'm fat and balding a bit and indians don't age well) and she looks like I picked her up from a local elementary school. I think she's pretty and have told her such, and she has a wonderful, ass kicking, sweet, cool personality BUT i'm hoping to avoid any such weirdness. I'm more venting than asking for advice but are their things I can do? Perhaps dress younger? I usually wear dockers and polo shirts since I don't; have the money for a work wardrobe and a home wardrobe, but should I just wear an old Ramones shirt and jeans? Should I ride a tricycle to the date? Should I bring ballons? OK, I'm kidding but any advice to minimize the oddness would be great.

Here are our pictures. You don't need to reenforce anything about her, I think she's a doll and know that she's cute even if you 'tards call her fat or too skinny or claim she looks like a man... so, yeah, criticize me, not her 😉

Me looking 30 with co-worker Sharon, NOT the girl I'm going on a date with: http://n00098.myspace.com/00098/96/15/98975169_l.jpg


her looking adorable
(i never call her adorable I'm not that dumb!)
another pic

I should add: I'm 6'2", she's 4'11". She was a bit worried about that but I offered to walk on my knees for her... Seriously, I have no issue with that and find it kinda cute, but any ways to minimize the weirdness factor there? you know what the say about oppossites, right?

*update*
Weird turn of events! I had a date with this other girl today. I was at work and something she said in an email kinda pissed me off...Was nothing major but her tone - "You know, I don't kiss on first dates, just so you know!" skeeved me out. I wasn't looking to rush things but the fact that she put out that disclaimer annoyed me...

Anyway, I went home and this girl, the cute one who's a little on the young looking side, IMs me and we start chatting and I, being tired and grumpy, mention that I'd rather meet up on Wednesday instead of Thursday because, frankly, I'm dated out. It's tiring, expensive, and frustrating (of course, I kept that to myself - I just said I'm pretty busy). She says that she has plans with her mom on Wednesday and that I could come over tonight to watch a movie or something. I joke "if things go well we can meet up on Thursday too, I'll squeeze you in!"

Anyway, I drive over and we watch "Adaptation" Her size issue wasn';t an issue at all when she's sitting down 😉 An hour into the movie I do what I never do, read my countless "how do I make a move" threads for proof.. I rested my hand on her leg and then, eventually Steve Job's legendary quote "Live every day as if it's your last"popped into my head. I stopped d1cking around and put my hand firmly into hers and she grabbed it back! We ended up curled up together but did not kiss.

I didn't try, I was stoked as to where I had gotten. I hugged her goodbye and she quipped "See you on thursday?" I smilled, we hugged again and now I'm home. Hyper, happy, and hopefully. The 3 H's! Nothing mattered, the fact that she looks a little young or her height. Nothing mattered, i had a wonderful time and I'm grinning ear to ear... I gotta stop thinking so much... I really do.

I gotta thank you guys... your collective tough love helped me from my wussy stage into being more thoughtful and understanding of my own emotions and how I deal with women. If I could buy all of you drinks I will!

*UPDATE 2*
So she canceled today's date. She said she's not sure if she's ready for "this." I didn't ask her to define "this." I'm bummed, of course... But I removed her from my email address booked, deleted her number, and am moving on... There are plenty of girls out there, I'm just going to get drunk with the boys tonight... Sigh, yes i'm sad.. Yes she was pretty, yes she was a joy to be around. Life goes on though, right?
Click to expand...

your avatar IS you. :Q
 
Originally posted by: gigapet
ok dude here is one thing I'm noticing tha twill continue to occur for you.

When you are asking a girl out on a date you are doing a number of things to set things off in the WRONG direction.

1) you are giving her the power to reject you, use you, play mind games with you etc....
2) you are setting up the "courtship" frame in her head. This will mean she will come to expect you to pay for lavish dates and pour gifts on her and in the mean time she is banging some random guy who's never bought her sh1t. Why should she let you get any poon if she is already reaping all the rewards? "officially" asking out a girl is a sure fire way to never get anywhere sexually unless you absolutely click like she's the one.

What can you do about it?

The good news is you can have more success without dating.

Some suggestions for non-dates:

1) talk over some coffee. Even if you pay for her coffee which i wouldnt do its gonna cost you 5 bucks tops and it gives you a great opportunity to screen her. Yes thats important to recognize, YOU ARE DOING THE EVALUATING NOT HER! YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

2) Tell her you need to do some shopping(all girls love shopping) and that you want a female opinion and ask for her to tag along.

3) tell her you and your friends are going out drinking and she can meet you there if she wants to come along

these are just some ways to propose time together without it being a date.

If things go well after a couple of these "outings" you will know it because she will begin to persue you! which is what you want isn't it?

Chasing girls and dating is for suckerz and chumps. You don't have to be one.

oN A positive note I can appreciate that you are being realistic with this, identifying your weak areas opf your game and improving upon them(fear of rejection is a huge hurdle :thumbsup😉

Keep at it man you'll only get better. Just don't let yourself fall back to your old ways.

REMEMBER SUPPLICATION = NO ATTRACTION
Click to expand...


what is that thing that ATOT people say....o yea, QFT

ive never asked a girl out on a date, and im 17 right now dating a 20 year old and just broke up with miss teen newjersey...its all about inviting em to get tipsy at your boys place...."sh(i)t gets weird"...the next morning, shes in love with you

gl though boss, she wasnt half bad lookin 😉
 
Girl one looks older than anything i date, your fine.

As for this:

Originally posted by: freedomsbeat212

- "You know, I don't kiss on first dates, just so you know!" skeeved me out. I wasn't looking to rush things but the fact that she put out that disclaimer annoyed me...
Click to expand...

respond, by saying you never put out on your first date. Reverse the test and you'll probably be romping her that night. GL to you.
 
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