I have noticed a large number of divorce threads lately, and I thought I'd chime in with a little bit of friendly advice that can make your life a lot easier in a divorce, and can prevent a lot of pain and frustration for the rest of your family.
1) Consult a lawyer, and tell him or her that you want to keep everything as amicable as possible. He or she can give you a roadmap to what you can do to ease the process in your state. If you feel comfortable with him or her - hire that lawyer.
Handling a divorce yourself is often a bad idea, since there are many property and child custody issues that you may not be aware of.
2) Keep talking with your spouse. This is HUGE. By talking to one another instead of through your lawyers, you can save thousands. You are both working towards the same goal, and you get there faster by not fighting over stupid things (mediating over sofas, pets, etc.). This does not work in certain situations (if you're married to Satan) but it does in most.
3) Make a list of all of the property that you own together. See if you can work out a deal with your spouse that you both can live with. Otherwise, a judge or jury may saddle you with a "deal" that you cannot live with.
4) Don't use your kids as bargaining chips in a divorce. Child custody fights are a surefire way to run up unreal legal bills, and you may alienate your kids in the process. Spend some of the money that you were going to spend on fighting for custody and get some therapy for your kids.
That being said - Child custody fights are appropriate in certain situations - only you truly know when it is. Don't let your anger and resentment of your spouse get in the way of what is best for your kids.
5) Therapy. Get some - even for your kids. Y'all need to talk to someone about what you are going through - be it a friend, church group, therapist. Divorce is a huge life change.
You should always make sure that your rights are protected, and you should consult an attorney licensed in your state, as your rights will vary from state to state.
1) Consult a lawyer, and tell him or her that you want to keep everything as amicable as possible. He or she can give you a roadmap to what you can do to ease the process in your state. If you feel comfortable with him or her - hire that lawyer.
Handling a divorce yourself is often a bad idea, since there are many property and child custody issues that you may not be aware of.
2) Keep talking with your spouse. This is HUGE. By talking to one another instead of through your lawyers, you can save thousands. You are both working towards the same goal, and you get there faster by not fighting over stupid things (mediating over sofas, pets, etc.). This does not work in certain situations (if you're married to Satan) but it does in most.
3) Make a list of all of the property that you own together. See if you can work out a deal with your spouse that you both can live with. Otherwise, a judge or jury may saddle you with a "deal" that you cannot live with.
4) Don't use your kids as bargaining chips in a divorce. Child custody fights are a surefire way to run up unreal legal bills, and you may alienate your kids in the process. Spend some of the money that you were going to spend on fighting for custody and get some therapy for your kids.
That being said - Child custody fights are appropriate in certain situations - only you truly know when it is. Don't let your anger and resentment of your spouse get in the way of what is best for your kids.
5) Therapy. Get some - even for your kids. Y'all need to talk to someone about what you are going through - be it a friend, church group, therapist. Divorce is a huge life change.
You should always make sure that your rights are protected, and you should consult an attorney licensed in your state, as your rights will vary from state to state.
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