9. A young Canadian man, searching for a way of getting drunk cheap, mixed gasoline with milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction
made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him
and his sister.
8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately
6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It
appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. However, he was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter
canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow wooden
tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause
of his suffocation.
7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they
decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the
wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before arriving, except that someone had reported that his
father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check
for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who
was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had made a
hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had
inserted his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for
obvious reasons). Evidently, his ejaculation shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.
5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her
passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for
the fact that the driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for food as she
drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.
4. A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one
foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police
spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had
assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of
death was "Major trauma". NOTE: What are 'octopus straps'???
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as
a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.
2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from
the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their
frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and
retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded,
sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the
explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
And the number one nominee for this year's Darwin Award did not die, but probably wishes he had....
1. Spurred on by a bet from the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the
local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and
dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with
Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging the solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,
collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the
ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the
fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and
flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotat....
made him ill, and he vomited into the fireplace in his house. The resulting explosion and fire burned his house down, killing both him
and his sister.
8. A 34-year-old white male found dead in the basement of his home died of suffocation, according to police. He was approximately
6'2" tall and weighed 225 pounds. He was wearing a pleated skirt, white bra, black and white saddle shoes, and a woman's wig. It
appeared that he was trying to create a schoolgirl's uniform look. However, he was also wearing a military gas mask that had the filter
canister removed and a rubber hose attached in its place. The other end of the hose was connected to one end of a hollow wooden
tube approx. 12" long and 3" in diameter. The tube's other end was inserted into his rectum for reasons unknown, and was the cause
of his suffocation.
7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they
decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the
wreckage with their pants around their ankles.
6. A police officer in Ohio responded to a 911 call. She had no details before arriving, except that someone had reported that his
father was not breathing. Upon arrival, the officer found the man face down on the couch naked. When she rolled him over to check
for a pulse and to start CPR, she noticed burn marks around his genitals. After the ambulance arrived and removed the man - who
was declared dead on arrival at the hospital - the police made a closer inspection of the couch, and noticed that the man had made a
hole between the cushions. Upon flipping the couch over, they discovered what had caused his death. Apparently, the man had
inserted his penis between the cushions, down into the hole and between two electrical sanders (with the sandpaper removed, for
obvious reasons). Evidently, his ejaculation shorted out one of the sanders, electrocuting him.
5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on a highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her
passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for
the fact that the driver's attention had been distracted by her Tamagotchi key ring, which had started urgently beeping for food as she
drove along. In an attempt to press the correct buttons to save the Tamagotchi's life, the woman lost her own.
4. A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle.
Fairfax County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of these straps together, wrapped one end around one
foot, anchored the other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police
spokesman, said investigators think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of the cord that he had
assembled was greater than the distance between the trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause of
death was "Major trauma". NOTE: What are 'octopus straps'???
3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as
a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalized.
2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the
building extinguishing all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the building had been evacuated, two technicians from
the gas company were dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty navigating in the dark. To their
frustration, none of the lights worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians reaching into his pocket and
retrieving an object that resembled a cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter like object, the gas in the warehouse exploded,
sending pieces of it up to three miles away. Nothing was found of the technicians, but the lighter was virtually untouched by the
explosion. The technician suspected of causing the blast had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers.
And the number one nominee for this year's Darwin Award did not die, but probably wishes he had....
1. Spurred on by a bet from the other members of his threesome, Everett Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the
local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and
dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with
Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging the solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain,
collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the
ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the
fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and
flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotat....
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