I am an American attending university in Thailand. One of my professors is Dan, a middle-aged Thai guy with a British accent. I'm not sure exactly what Dan is qualified to teach, but this semester I'm in my third course with him as the professor. This time around, realizing note-taking and study weren't necessary, I began to pass the three and a half hours of lecture time by writing down the interesting quotes of Dan. He doesn't stop talking.. for the entire 3 1/2 hours, and I've got more where this came from.
ON TURTLES:
?Does he have armor . . . like knights in shining armor??
ON ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION:
?The environment can take more of our CDs, our DVDs . . . ?
ON A POWERPOINT SLIDE SHOWING A MOOSE IN THE LIFE CYCLE:
?Why does this moose go in a cycle??
ON MOTHER NATURE'S CONSTANT BITCHING:
?The environment said ?No, I cannot take more of you in this room.??
ON BIRTH:
?Turtles . . . eggs idnit? Comes out of eggs??
ON INSECT IMPERIALISM:
?Flies go to Europe by ships.?
WORDS OF WARNING:
?We may not be eaten by lions or tyrannosaurus rex, but we may be hit by AIDS.?
?Pythons can consume small children.?
CROSS-SPECIES DIPLOMACY:
?Our feather friends?the birds.?
ON...ON SOMETHING:
?Is it a nebula? Is it a star? Fish, yea!?
DAN THE MASOCHIST:
?Small little fish you can squish them in your fingers!?
ON THE OWL'S ABILITY TO TURN ITS HEAD:
?Not 360 . . . like some magician could do.?
ON GLOBAL DEFENSE FROM EXTRA TERRESTIALS:
?If aliens came down and started hunting humans . . . we?ve never been hunted but if that were to happen . . . ?
DAN THE PHILOSOPHER:
?A bear in winter may grow a lot of fur.?
DAN THE NATURALIST:
?Like chicken . . . only flap wings for about 30 seconds max I think.?
ON PANDAS:
?What they do to the bamboo, the bamboo will probably do back to them.?
ON THE BONSAI INVASION:
?What do you think would constrain the bonsai tree from expanding its frontier to the seashore??
ON DECAPITATION:
?You don?t get .3 of a human being like a leg, or an arm.?
ON TURTLES:
?Does he have armor . . . like knights in shining armor??
ON ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION:
?The environment can take more of our CDs, our DVDs . . . ?
ON A POWERPOINT SLIDE SHOWING A MOOSE IN THE LIFE CYCLE:
?Why does this moose go in a cycle??
ON MOTHER NATURE'S CONSTANT BITCHING:
?The environment said ?No, I cannot take more of you in this room.??
ON BIRTH:
?Turtles . . . eggs idnit? Comes out of eggs??
ON INSECT IMPERIALISM:
?Flies go to Europe by ships.?
WORDS OF WARNING:
?We may not be eaten by lions or tyrannosaurus rex, but we may be hit by AIDS.?
?Pythons can consume small children.?
CROSS-SPECIES DIPLOMACY:
?Our feather friends?the birds.?
ON...ON SOMETHING:
?Is it a nebula? Is it a star? Fish, yea!?
DAN THE MASOCHIST:
?Small little fish you can squish them in your fingers!?
ON THE OWL'S ABILITY TO TURN ITS HEAD:
?Not 360 . . . like some magician could do.?
ON GLOBAL DEFENSE FROM EXTRA TERRESTIALS:
?If aliens came down and started hunting humans . . . we?ve never been hunted but if that were to happen . . . ?
DAN THE PHILOSOPHER:
?A bear in winter may grow a lot of fur.?
DAN THE NATURALIST:
?Like chicken . . . only flap wings for about 30 seconds max I think.?
ON PANDAS:
?What they do to the bamboo, the bamboo will probably do back to them.?
ON THE BONSAI INVASION:
?What do you think would constrain the bonsai tree from expanding its frontier to the seashore??
ON DECAPITATION:
?You don?t get .3 of a human being like a leg, or an arm.?
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