damn, have i gotten dumber or is my sentence structure fine?

[rise]

are people retarded. i had 3 people tel me this was poorly written.

next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, while you create and reply to me in others, about an "immediate issue". i thought this was dead.

thats not clear? wtf...

 

[NikolaeVarius]

Well, it is a bit hard to understand. I had to read it three times to get it.

Its should probably read

Next time, don't wait a week to reply to an E-mail, while you discuss other immediate issues. I thought this Email was dead.

Well, even that doesn't work too well.

 

[ShadowOfMyself]

Actually, I cant understand it either... What do you mean by " while you create and reply to me in others" ? Other emails? Create other emails?

 

[iamaelephant]

Ease up on the commas there big boy.

 

[mooglekit]

The comma is not your friend...🙁

 

[ZetaEpyon]

I had to read it a couple times, it really is somewhat confusing.

You'd have been better off with something like:
"Next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email about an "immediate issue" while you create and reply to me in others."

 

[Pacemaker]

Originally posted by: rise
are people retarded. i had 3 people tel me this was poorly written.

next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, while you create and reply to me in others, about an "immediate issue". i thought this was dead.

thats not clear? wtf...

"Next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, especially if you are sending me other emails that aren't due to an "immediate issue." I thought this issue was dead."

That's clearer. I understood what you said, but "while you create and reply to me in others" is unclear and force the reader to assume too much.

 

[mugs]

Use capital letters
Go easy on the commas.

 

[rise]

Originally posted by: ShadowOfMyself
Actually, I cant understand it either... What do you mean by " while you create and reply to me in others" ? Other emails? Create other emails?

what i meant was, i had sent her an email, no reply. she creates and replies to me in some email over a weeks time. then she replies to this email again, after a week of no reponse.

 

[rsd]

Definitely the former.

 

[rise]

Originally posted by: mugs
Use capital letters
Go easy on the commas.

thats the second comma remark 🙁

i guess i have lost a few more brain cells than i thought. i used to rite real good 🙂

 

[purbeast0]

looks pretty straight forward to me.

 

[FeuerFrei]

next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, while you create and reply to me in others, about an "immediate issue". i thought this was dead.

"about an 'immediate issue'" should come right after "email."

 

[rise]

Originally posted by: Pacemaker

Originally posted by: rise
are people retarded. i had 3 people tel me this was poorly written.

next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, while you create and reply to me in others, about an "immediate issue". i thought this was dead.

thats not clear? wtf...

"Next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, especially if you are sending me other emails that aren't due to an "immediate issue." I thought this issue was dead."

That's clearer. I understood what you said, but "while you create and reply to me in others" is unclear and force the reader to assume too much.

when i re-re-re-read it, i was thinking just moving it a bit works, like-

next time, don't wait a week to reply about an "immediate issue" while you create and reply to me in others. i thought this issue was dead.

if she did have to read it 3 or 4 times, thats ok too because it will just infuriate her more lol,

 

[Izzo]

Hmm, I don't see the problem, after reading the sentence, while browsing ATOT, I understood it the first time. 😕

 

[rise]

Originally posted by: FeuerFrei

next time, don't wait a week to reply to an email, while you create and reply to me in others, about an "immediate issue". i thought this was dead.

"about an 'immediate issue'" should come right after "email."

beat me to it. 😛