Monel Funkawitz

Diamond Member
Oct 12, 1999
5,105
0
0
The guys at work were all hyped up that today was opening day for Trout. They got me all wound up to go, cause the last time I went fishing was about 10-12 years ago. I figured I'd run to Wal Mart and get a 20 dollar licence, then go out somewhere and get some fish and have some cheap fun.

After work, I drive to Wal Mart at about noon, and a hour and a half later I leave with a new pole, reel, Spider Wire fishing line, floating bait stuff, bobbers (Most of this stuff I already had, but I needed the new updated stuff :) ) licence, licence holder, etc. Total cost - $92.50

I go home, and realize my new pole is a one piece. It won't fit in the cab of my truck. I grab the cooler (For the 19 fish I'm gonna catch) change clothes, and take off. Time is about 2:30

I get to Wal Mart, and return the pole, and shop for a new one. Two piece this time. Two piece Ugly Stick pole. On the way out, I get some candy bars and pop (Gonna be out there awhile catching these 19,000 fish) Total running cost so far - $102.73

Ok, out on the road, and there is no good place to go. Gotta drive to the state park. Get ice on the way (To keep my 19 million fish fresh). running cost so far - $104.81

Drive around Moraine State park, and after an hour, I find a secluded place to fish. Gotta hike through mud, but who cares. 87 degree inclines are easy to climb when covered in mud and when you are carrying 100lb of fishing equipment. I get the pole all ready to go, and gale force winds kick in. 40mph winds dang near on this lake. I put my bait on, cast, and catch me a 831lb tree. Sumbitch fought the whole way, and even got a trophy of one of my brand new indestructable $2 bobbers. Repeated this until I was out of bobbers. Any minute now these 19 trillion fish are gonna jump in my cooler and commit fishacide.

An hour later, I'm swearing. Seems someone forgot to inform the fish they are suppose to be in this really great fishing area. Hmm, gonna have to move somewhere else, this tree next to me is starting to look like a freak X-mas tree.

Find a new area. No one around, out in the open, wind blowing in the other wrong direction, but I have a kick butt footrest from a old fallen tree. Get all set up, bait the hook. Bait the hook. Bait the hook. Bait the hook. Bait the hook. My bait is so afraid of the 19 zillion fish, it is jumping off the hook. Time to go to the flourescent green fish scented floating playdoh stuff.

Many hours go by.

A long time later, I'm out $3 of preserved meal worms, a bunch of this floating playdoh stuff, three rubber squiggly things, some other dohicky, and numerous hooks and other assorted items. My goal now is if I fill the lake up with enough fishing accessories, then there will be no room for these 19 kabillion fish, and I can just walk around and pick them up.

Many hours go by.

Still no catch. Hell, I havent even seen something that resembled a fish. Lots of ducks, loons, geese, Doo-Doo birds, Pterodactyls, but not one fish. I'm pissed at this point. So I bring out the big guns, my prized lure I got from my grandfather (Who passed away in 2000). I hook her up, get all lined up, cast it as hard as I can, and watch my bobbers go right and my lure go SCREAMING left at a rate that should put it in Seattle in about 3 more minutes.

I give up. I head back home, and realize I need gas. $39.50 in gas. $39.48 of it was spent trying to find a good fishing spot.

Final total cost - $142.73
Fish caught - Zero

Cost of store bought fish - $5.99lb
Amount of store fish I could have bought - 23.75lb
 

HappyPuppy

Lifer
Apr 5, 2001
16,997
2
71
Yo, Dood, you didn't catch any fish because you didn't drink any beer.

Also, there is often a reason why people mob up in one area an there's nobody in another area. Guess why.

It's fun to catch fish, but it's really all about the experience.

Glad you had a good time.:D