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Dad's birthday today, should I call him?
- Thread starter Joemonkey
- Start date
Yes of course. He'll be dead soon and you'll feel like more of an asshole for being stubborn and not calling once he passes. Be a man.
KT
KT
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
Yeah, I'd call him.
My Dad's birthday was Saturday and I gave him a call. He's not in good health, he had a valve replaced in his heart a few months ago and he had a stroke while he was in recovery so he has limited use of the left side of his body since then. I'm not very close to him and he almost never reaches out to me but he's the only Father I have and I know he enjoyed the phone call...truth be told, I did too. Plus he got to talk to his grandson a bit and I think he enjoyed that.
My Dad's birthday was Saturday and I gave him a call. He's not in good health, he had a valve replaced in his heart a few months ago and he had a stroke while he was in recovery so he has limited use of the left side of his body since then. I'm not very close to him and he almost never reaches out to me but he's the only Father I have and I know he enjoyed the phone call...truth be told, I did too. Plus he got to talk to his grandson a bit and I think he enjoyed that.
moshquerade
No Lifer
I feel ya, except mine was only 56 y/o.
JoeMonkey, call your father. he'll appreciate it.
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
And even if he doesn't you'll feel better because you called him.
moshquerade
No Lifer
yep. :thumbsup:
darkxshade
Lifer
Was he a soldier who fought in the Korean War? Is he only an asshole to you and the family? I'm just asking because he may be mean to you but he may be a sweet old man to the Hmong neighbors next door. Tread wisely if you want that Gran Torino.
HybridSquirrel
Diamond Member
this.
Joemonkey
Diamond Member
Yes, and Yes actually
Lets see if i can answer the other questions
Here are just a few examples...
Two christmases ago he and my mom drove 4 hours away to visit my my mom's family. There was a winter storm moving in so he wanted to leave and come home but my mom and her family said to just wait it out, that they were more than welcome, so he said "screw all of ya" and took the car and drove home, leaving my mom stranded there. Keep in mind, his vision, hearing, driving skills, etc. aren't the best, he was 77 at the time.
Since then, my mom has left my dad and my dad has been put in an assisted living facility. He has hearing aids, but won't wear them. Whenever I stop by to talk or call him on the phone it is me:"statement" him:"what?" me:"STATEMENT" him:"what?" me:"STATEMENT" him:"you don't have to yell at me!"
Also, over the weekend while at his assisted living facility, we're walking around and he says "man she's sure getting fat" and points at my wife...
I am 30. My mom was 34 and my dad 48 when I was conceived
moshquerade
No Lifer
what did your mom ever see in him? i take it he's changed over the years? senility maybe is causing him to be so rude and crotchety?
JulesMaximus
No Lifer
Well, stop saying "statement" all the time to him and tell your wife to lose some weight...problem solved!
Sorry man, I couldn't resist. 😛😉
Joemonkey
Diamond Member
he's always been a bit of an asshole, and I'm sure doctors telling him "hey you can't take care of yourself and you aren't allowed to drive any more so you're going to move into an assisted living facility" thing probably adds to it
I'm not sure what my parents ever saw in each other TBH. He was her boss where they both worked for a while, my mom was divorced with 3 kids, dad single, they dated for ~4 years then she got pregnant with me so they flew to vegas to get married. He's a pretty devout catholic so I guess he thought it was the "right thing to do" I would imagine.
We've never been close really either, really have nothing in common either, it's just now I feel like I have to force myself to call him every so often just get annoyed and pissed off because calling my dad to see how he's doing also seems like the "right thing to do"
Yes, you have no idea what is going through his head at this age. I have a neighbor who was the kindest old man you would ever meet, kinda like a surrogate grandfather to me since I never knew mine very well. He bent over backwards to help me out around the house. His son died, there were only the two of them in the house (his wife died the year before) and he decided that it was best for him to go into an assisted living center because of his declining health and age.
He barely has any recollection of me unless I give him some pinpoint details of our past...things I helped him with that triggers a memory of who I am. His personality has changed as well, he is now a cantankerous old man that snaps at everyone. This is due to several things, medication, age, frustration of being in a place he does not want to be in, and sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I don't see him as much as a used to, and I really miss the old guy but he has become a shell of his former self. I still visit him on holidays and his birthday even though he is the way he is.
My point is all of this is that you only have one father, and no matter what he will be your father....asshole or not take a few minutes of your day and call him...it's not going to cost you a thing.
He barely has any recollection of me unless I give him some pinpoint details of our past...things I helped him with that triggers a memory of who I am. His personality has changed as well, he is now a cantankerous old man that snaps at everyone. This is due to several things, medication, age, frustration of being in a place he does not want to be in, and sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I don't see him as much as a used to, and I really miss the old guy but he has become a shell of his former self. I still visit him on holidays and his birthday even though he is the way he is.
My point is all of this is that you only have one father, and no matter what he will be your father....asshole or not take a few minutes of your day and call him...it's not going to cost you a thing.
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