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Daddy sleeps naked (A stolen Little Johny (Brutuskend) JOKE)

B

Brutuskend

Lifer
Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Johnny.
"It ain't my fault," Miss Crabtree. "You can blame this on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is Daddy sleeps naked!"

Now Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. So she asked little Johnny what he meant by that, despite her mounting fears.
Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Johnny and trouble were old friends, but he always told the truth.


"You see, Miss Crabtree, at the ranch we got this here lowdown coyote. The last Few nights he done et six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. And last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!'"

'Stay back, he yelled to all us kids!"

He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an beloved patriot on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barrel through the window of the
coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog Zeke had done woke up and come asneakin' up behind Daddy.

Then we all looked on plumb helpless as old Zeke stuck that cold nose in Daddy's crack!

"Miss Crabtree, we been pluck'n an cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"
 
Little Johny and his dad are out in the park one day. Johny spots a couple of guys with a funny walk, and yells to his dad, "Look at those bowlegged bastards!"

His dad, upset, tells him to watch his mouth, that it isn't proper English.

A few minutes later, "Wow, look at those bowlegged bastards!" comes from Little Johny's mouth.

His dad, having enough of his rude remarks, sends him to a manners school. Where he will learn proper English and etiquette.

Months later Little Johny returns. Versed in the works of Shakespeare. Exhibiting proper table manners.

His father takes him to the park again, when the same gentlemen as before approach, to which Little Johny remarks, "Father but what men are these? Their testicles hang in parenthesis!"
 
Wait, what? Was the dad jumping everywhere as a result of the dog and accidentally killing all these chickens with his shotgun?
 
The dad poked the barrel of the shotgun into the chicken coop to shoot the coyote. The coyote wasn't there. In the process he made a noise and woke the dog, who came to investigate and stuck his cold nose into the fathers posterior, the father jumped/freaked and the shotgun went off killing many chickens inside the coop.
 
Welcome back Brut. From the bike comment, I'm guessing things worked out with your rights then? Don't have to talk about it if you don't wanna.

I missed these horrible jokes. 😀
 
Originally posted by: Brutuskend
Yeah, I found a new addiction.

I've been buying and restoring old bikes (Schwinn's)

Here's the '55 Schwinn Deluxe Hornet I'm restoring for my daughter!

Picture 1

Picture 2

Picture 3

All I need is the headlight, and to knock out a few dents...
Click to expand...

Sweet!!!! :-D

I have an old bike in my garage (my sisters old bike). It is a good frame. I will probably restore it later on, too.
 
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