Da Vince Code Summerization

[torpid]

I have not read the novel. I read your entire summary and am less certain of what it is about than before. Your writing style appears to be describing individual events, one after another, and has no cohesion to it. I am fairly certain this is a somewhat controversial book. Yet your summary does not describe in the slightest any of the reasons why it would be controversial.

The only thing I learned about the novel from your summary was this: Someone was killed, who may or may not have known something about the grail, and the victim's daughter goes searching for clues about the murder, becoming entrenched in her father's work to find the grail in the process.

Now that's one (run-on) sentence that describes just about everything I learned from your summary.

Stylistically I don't like the summary, but I don't know what structure you were going for. Traditionally I would expect a one liner to grab my interest, followed by a brief outline of the general theme of the novel. Then I would expect some sort of summary of the summary, perhaps key plot elements, which would then be expanded in individual paragraphs.

Instead you appear to just have arbitrarily broken your summary into paragraphs, or if not arbitrarily then only at "plot points".

 

[dullard]

To make a long story short, Langdon and Saunière?s daughter, Sophie, decipher the first part of the code he left for them.
Yes, your assignment was to make a long story short. We don't need to know what your assignment was. Why then did you add 6 words to it? Did you just want to make this short story long? He who? Did Langdon leave a code? Or was it Saunière?

However, as Langdon is the prime suspect for the murder they are on the run from the French authorities at this point.
I see no reason for the word, 'however', in your sentence. They who? Is it the person who left the code and Sophie who are on the run? I had to read the sentence above at least five times to have a clue what it meant. It needs a major rewrite. You are using present tense, thus it is implied that they are doing it now. You don't need to tell the reader that doing something now means "at this point".

The item that Jacques left for his daughter at the Louvre was a key embellished with a Fleur de Lis one of the predominate symbols of the Priory.
The sentence would be so much more exciting if the word 'key' was near the beginning. "Lacques left a key for his daughter..." After 'Lis' I need some sort of punctuation to make my way through this paragraph.

Langdon manages to figure out what the key is from a coded message Saunière left.
There is a message tattoed onto Saunière's left side? What a coincidence! Or is this just another sentence with a word missing?

The key is to a vault at a bank (surprisingly enough).
"The key opens a vault..." is a slighly more interesting way of wording. Why is it surprising that a key opens a vault?

Sophie and Langdon go to the bank and after determining the account number for Jacques?s elaborate Safe Deposit Box, they retrieve a box, in which is hidden the Priory Keystone.
Run-on sentence. Here is a hint for you. (1) Read everything you write. (2) Erase all 'and's and put a period in its place. (3) Capitalize the next word after the 'and'. Your report won't be perfect, but it will be a lot better if you do this. The phrase, 'in which is', is awfully long and boring.

 

[dullard]

I could go on. I won't though. I can't trudge anymore through your report without falling asleep. Torpid beat me to what I wanted to add. I see no introduction in your report. An introduction to help the reader of your report and to gain some excitement about reading your words.

 

[torpid]

I wanted to note that the 10th grade for me was the first year where technically correct writing was required. The first assignment in 10th grade english was to write a plot summary of a book we read over the summer. All of us got D's. Only then did the teacher proceed to tell us how we should be writing.