Direct Quotes from Orsorum:
Are you hot for accountants? I'm biologically attracted to you. Talk tax to me. I was a band nerd in high school. Why slaughter the hog when you can get the bacon for free? Have I got your attention? Truffle salt conquers all evil. Would you let my female housemate set you on fire? I am... The Domestic Goddess. I transcend gender. I have childbearing hips. I can take off my pants without unbuttoning my fly! John Muir was a communist. I'm trying to get away from my girlish figure. Conundra-drums. In another time I would have been a knight, or maybe a small freight train. If you really wanted to you could recreate the Scrooge McDuck vault but with cheez-its; that would be awesome. I wore a dipthong once but it was really uncomfortable. I am a dainty man. I'm going to wreck this house with my hips. I'd hit Bambi - with a pickup truck! Do you know how many people have driven out and tried to drop me off in remote locations? Yes, I did just lick the vodka bottle. I have a great idea for a concept band; Yo Yo Ma does disco. Never ever allude to your extensive knowledge of adult film stars at work.
Endorsements:
A: If I were a woman, I'd fall for Orsorum. Orsorum would be a good stable baby-daddy.
C: We decided what we're going to put on your tombstone: Orsorum was killed by a dead cow. I used to sell Orsorum in a blanket on the black market. When Orsorum talks, it's usually the cue to ignore him.
R: I beat Orsorum at arm wrestling by licking his face. [Editor's Note: may or may not be true.]
P: My family is proud of you and your beef-cutting abilities. Some people look like GQ models; Orsorum looks like a WTF model.
J: If Orsorum fell behind, I'd take a service revolver and off him, bust a cap in his head. You're better looking than Kevin Spacey.
P2: You could be Bristol Palin's baby-daddy!
Conversations with Orsorum:
"You're going to have a martini and waffles?"
"Damn Straight!"
