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Crisis at home

D

Dedpuhl

Lifer
My sister recently moved back home. When she lived here before, she and her friends would go in her room and smoke weed. I told my father that if she doesn?t stop that I would call the police on her. He threatened me if I call the cops on her, so I moved out. I moved back in when I found out she left. Well, she moved back in again (temporarily). AND she started doing it again.
Tonight when my father gets home I am going to tell him the same thing. This time, however, I will not let him bully me. I detest my sister, and I detest drug use. The smell of that crap spreads all through the house.
What bothers me the most is that my dad has allowed her to do this in his house. If he is not part of the solution, he is part of the problem.


So my question is this: Should I call the police and have her arrested? She has already been arrested?.DURING HIGHSCHOOL?for distribution and possession. She was expelled for a year and eventually dropped out. To all of you that are saying ?why don?t you move out?? I would if I could afford it, but I would think that a parent would disallow this kind of activity.
 
I'd say if you are a minor, your dad should provide you with a drug-free home, and calling the police or social services would not be out of order. If you are an adult, he doesn't really owe you anything in the way of a place to live (though I'm sorry it is the way you've described), and you best solution is to get out as you did previously.
 
Sadly you really don't have a say in the thing. Its your dads house, he isn't bullying you, he is asserting the control he can, the best chance you have is to talk to you sister and dad reasonably. They will either agree or disagree, but your dislike of it doesn't really count since its not your house.

edit: providing you're an adult which I assume you are since you've moved out once.
 
I wouldn't until you have enough money to move out on your own, you know your dad doesn't have to have you in his house anymore. Besides, being a narc is kind of lame, you should try to talk to her first that you will call the cops before you actually do.
 
They both face the consequences for the drugs, she for using them, and he for owning the house where the use takes place. You can't really complain as you are an adult and your father has no legal obligation to provide a roof for you. I sympathize with you and agree you're in a tough situation, but calling the police might bring about bad consequences you don't want to see happen. Are you ready to watch your father and sister get arrested?
 
How would that work out though, calling the police on a member of your own family? I take it you wouldn't care about how your sister felt about it 😛 but what about your father, would he be angry at you then? What would the consequences be, they'd both be prosecuted?
 
If my dad would put me on the street because I would like to live in a drug-free environment, then he is just as guilty as she is. I wouldn?t even care that she does any drugs, but she is doing them in the presence of her own family. I would not call myself a NARC. I have a lot of friends that use or have used drugs. I choose not to be around them when they are and I have never snitched on anyone. In this case, I really have no choice but to be around it.?


[edit] NO I am not the antiporn guy...
 
If he considers himself to be a law-abiding citizen, then he should make her quit doing that in his house. She can go smoke weed and snort cocaine and shoot up at her friends house and die for all I care....
 
Not trying to pass judgement on you, but because you're not a minor and you're not paying to live there, I'd say you don't really have a say in what others do while you're in the house.

I mean, you could say so for ethical reasons, but legally you don't rent the place so you don't have a legal right to dictate what goes on.

Now because possession of marijuana is illegal, you COULD go to the police about this I guess, but I think that's a pretty crappy thing to do to your own family, whether you hate them or not. Plus, would you say that you're being harmed by your sister's smoking weed? Probably not. You may find it annoying, but unless you see it as doing harm to yourself I would let it go.

Plus, landing your sister with heavy fines and/or jail time is not going to be successful in getting her off drugs if it's a problem.

l2c
 
You don't wanna call the cops. What type of fvcked up person calls the cops on their own family? Even if your sister does things you don't like, you try to convince her to change, not get her arrested. Prison doesn't reform people, so don't kid yourself, you're not doing her a favor. The only person you'd be thinking about is yourself, and probably not even that, since your dad would probably kick you out on your ass so fast, unless he also gets arrested, which is possible.

Either way, your best chance is to try to talk sense into them. Cops is for pussies (in this situation, at least).
 
Hey Goody-two-shoes!

Drugs are everywhere! Your 22 and still living at home? And have the gaul to complain about it? My suggestion is to have sis invite some of her girl friends over for a slumber party, get high with them, and have a good time. Pot is about as dangerous as beer now-a-days.

Bottom line: If you don't like your home environment, your 22 and not a minor any longer and then it's time for you to move out! Calling the police on your family is a good way to alienate everyone. They will only blame you and not see it as you trying to help. Time for you to face reality and grow up!
 
Oh, and if you decide to follow my advice, I'd suggest talking to your dad alone first, find out why he isn't trying to discourage her drug use. If you can, try to convince him to agree that it's wrong, so that when you confront your sister, you won't be outnumbered.

Good luck
 
Sorry to say this,but if you do not alert the authorities of the crime being commited in your home,you are an accessory.You will be just as guilty as your father.(Your Dad Sucks!IMHO)

Contact the police and tell themwhat you have told us.If you want a bust not include you,they can be quite accomidating.

I am not a fan of busting anyone for maryjane use,but you need to cover your ars.Until the laws are changed,thats how it is.

Good luck
 
I'm still gonna have to say that calling the cops is going to be a poor choice. First what will they have to do? Can they do much of anyting? Would they get a warrent to look for a couple of dime bags? Then I'd hope you really didn't want to have a relationship with your father in the future and already made other housing arrangements because I imagine that you'll no longer be welcome in his house or held in very high light. You do have a choice to not be around it and thats by moving out since you're an adult. If it bothers you that much then move out. Calling the police is pretty lame I think. I'm a very antidrug person but I respect my dad's choices on how to run his house. I know if I don't like it I am free to leave. If ran a kiddie porn ring or something yes, but other than a nasty smell in the house I dont see the severe harm you're suffering.
 
<<<Your 22 and still living at home>>>

I am going to college. That is not unheard of to live at home, especially when I pay for college out of my pocket every semester.



<<<but if you do not alert the authorities of the crime being commited in your home,you are an accessory>>>

exactly.
 
Ded:


1. talk to both your dad and your sister, prefarably separately, try to reason with them.


2. if talking to sister does not help, go into her room when she is not there and flush her weed. (beware of retaliation)


3. if dad doesnt understand, then you are screwed, it is his house his castle (prepare for relocation)





dam()
 
I know it sounds harsh, extreme, stupid, etc. to call the law, but I have tried talking to my sister and my dad...On several occasions. I am not some anti drug extremist. This is my own family for crying out loud!!
 
Dedpuhl

Listen to Moonbeam. I couldn't have said it any more succinctly.

Edit: You posted just before me. So if you're not an anti-drug crusader, what are you trying to accomplish? Do you want to help your family? If you call the cops, that won't help them. One or more will land in jail, and they could lose the house. If I was your father, I wouldn't want your style of help.
 


<< She can go smoke weed and snort cocaine and shoot up at her friends house and die for all I care.... >>



Wow... I can feel the love from here...

I sympathize with your frustration, but you must understand this:

What is going on is obviously part of a deeper, bigger problem in your family. You get to deal with this for a lifetime OR you can opt out and get as far away as possible.

Calling the cops will be the equivalent of declaring war in your family.

Perhaps a little time and distance will help you get over the anger and see the situation with more compassion. It sounds like this is just the tip of the iceberg...

As much as I dislike certain people in my extended family, I am aware that they are just stuck in a cycle of pain that has been passed down for generations.

If you REALLY want to do some good, read up on the families of alcoholics... there is usually a pattern that runs through them, with each person playing a different role. You must be the Hero. 🙂 Nothing wrong with that, but don't let it eat you up inside, ok?

Peace~

edit: Yeah, Moonbeam! We are on the same cosmic page. 😉
 
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