crazy stories from college

Saint Nick

Lifer
Jan 21, 2005
17,722
6
81
Anybody have any?

The only crazy story I have is from freshman year. I printed up these official looking letters that had the logo of the management company and the university. The letter pretty much stated to stop masturbating in the showers because it was clogging the drains. And if the culprits didn't stop, they would use DNA to determine who is doing it. This is not an original joke, I saw it online somewhere at the time. It was pretty funny and a lot of people who I had class with the next morning saw it :D The management company tore them down at about 10:00am that morning after we had spent about an hour putting them up at 1:00am.
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,419
1,599
126
My friend shat himself after a hard night of drinking.
 

funkymatt

Diamond Member
Jun 2, 2005
3,919
1
81
Originally posted by: Ns1
My friend shat himself after a hard night of drinking.

you don't need to be in college for these types of stories. lots of uneducated people enjoy drinking as well.

 

nageov3t

Lifer
Feb 18, 2004
42,808
83
91
one night sophomore year, a friend of mine got super mega drunk at a frat party... my roommate and I took him back to our place and let him crash on our couch.

the following morning when he woke up, we convinced him that he puked on our floor and got him to wash the living room floor for us :)
 

clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
26,252
403
126
Originally posted by: Savij
I got drunk.
This.

I guess the craziest thing I can think of at the moment is something that happened in my last year. My roommates and I and a couple friends were sitting around the table at our house playing Texas Hold 'Em.

One of the guys there was drunk and started showing his balls to everyone. Funny at first but people started to get sick of his bullshit. I thought it was funny and it didn't bother me but I just kinda ignored him.

Anyway, I forget who but one or two guys basically told him to get the fuck out and kinda threw him out. He slammed out front door on the way out and it was a door with a little square window up near the top of it. Then we hear a smash and saw he had punched through the window after he slammed the door.

He ended up cutting his hand and forearm pretty badly and went to the hospital.

We had a party a little while later and he showed up but with a hat pulled way down, sunglasses, and his collar up cause he was trying not to be seen. LOL. Apart from that incident he's a funny ass guy.
 

IceBergSLiM

Lifer
Jul 11, 2000
29,932
3
81
Mattress stealing escapades were fun. Come back to your room to find your mattress gone. Then you must find where it went. Then you must find out who put it there. Then you must plot revenge and steal theres.

Filling up garbage bins with water and leaning them on dorm room doors. Open door instant flood in victims room.

Stacking common room furniture 2 stories high in some modern art sculpture formation

Then one time we took the entire common area for the whole floor and set up in the mens bathroom. Hilarity Ensues.

sling shotting water balloons across the green onto tanning coeds

Banging on the baseball field, stairwells, elevators, laundry room

crazy games of strip poker that devolved into threesomes

Random girls coming into my dorm room at 3 am and pissing on my roomates bed then leaving.

the list really could go on and on and on
 

Ns1

No Lifer
Jun 17, 2001
55,419
1,599
126
Some douchebag went to our party and disrespected our bartender and threw his cup of beer into the bartenders face.

The bartender was in a fraternity - next to 10 of his fraternity brothers. The douchebag did not enjoy that one.

The next morning his blood was still on the wall. He ended up passing out on campus and getting picked up by DPS.
 

cheezy321

Diamond Member
Dec 31, 2003
6,218
2
0
I pissed myself on two different beds that were not mine. Ironically, those are the only two times i pissed myself in my sleep.

Stuffed a whole Dorm Bunk Bed frame into the ceiling.

Found a bunch of ice and proceeded to cover our entire floor with it.

Watched friend get tazered twice by the police.

Many Poo Dollars (Best entertainment ever)

Getting laid without doing any work at all.

More are still happening, hey i just graduated college a month ago!
 

child of wonder

Diamond Member
Aug 31, 2006
8,307
176
106
Oh I forgot about the commons area.

A friend of mine is blind. We were partying in my dorm room one night and he plus a couple other people took a walk outside. 20 minutes later he came back in the room and said "don't sit on the couch in the commons room. According to dog law, it is now mine."

He also pissed on the door of someone else on my floor that was playing Backstreet Boys (all guys floor).
 

Anubis

No Lifer
Aug 31, 2001
78,712
427
126
tbqhwy.com
Originally posted by: cheezy321
I pissed myself on two different beds that were not mine. Ironically, those are the only two times i pissed myself in my sleep.

Stuffed a whole Dorm Bunk Bed frame into the ceiling.

Found a bunch of ice and proceeded to cover our entire floor with it.

Watched friend get tazered twice by the police.

Many Poo Dollars (Best entertainment ever)

Getting laid without doing any work at all.

More are still happening, hey i just graduated college a month ago!

poo dollars?

i always loved freezing shaveing cream and the sliceing it so you could slide it under peoples doors, man that made an awsome mess
 

clamum

Lifer
Feb 13, 2003
26,252
403
126
Originally posted by: cheezy321
I pissed myself on two different beds that were not mine. Ironically, those are the only two times i pissed myself in my sleep.

Stuffed a whole Dorm Bunk Bed frame into the ceiling.

Found a bunch of ice and proceeded to cover our entire floor with it.

Watched friend get tazered twice by the police.

Many Poo Dollars (Best entertainment ever)

Getting laid without doing any work at all.

More are still happening, hey i just graduated college a month ago!
LOL. Like in CKY2K where they smeared shit on a dollar and filmed the guy picking it up thinking it was clean?
 

AgaBoogaBoo

Lifer
Feb 16, 2003
26,108
5
81
Originally posted by: Anubis
poo dollars?

i always loved freezing shaveing cream and the sliceing it so you could slide it under peoples doors, man that made an awsome mess
I would assume putting money in toilets with poo and seeing if people will grab it.
 

meltdown75

Lifer
Nov 17, 2004
37,548
7
81
my roomie was getting a beej from his gf (ended up marrying her) one night and he finished. she spit it out of the window and it streaked a window three floors down. that white streak was there for months. everytime we walked up to the building (11 storey res) we made a comment on the staying power of the "white lightning".

but... i really don't remember much from that first year. i took a year off after that, worked in a factory and decided i had to get my ass back to school, so i finished my degree somewhere else. the toughest thing was not being able to go back to all the friends i had made in 1st year.

be cool, stay in school.
 
Feb 19, 2001
20,155
23
81
My roommates got caught drinking and partying too hard in the room by a dickwad RA. Usually our RA pretends not to care and just pretends she doesn't know but a different RA was on duty this time.

I didn't want to drink that night so I was on vent playing Starcraft. I didn't realize the party died and they told me to take off my headphones. I was pissed as shit. They wrote all of us up including me the nerd who was doing a dragoon rush. Guh...
 

TraumaRN

Diamond Member
Jun 5, 2005
6,893
63
91
Freshman year:
2 months into school living with this ass wipe roommate. He always comes back stoned. Then I find out he's not just smoking weed but selling cocaine, heroin, oxycontin etc from our dorm room. I moved out 2 days later :p A week later he ended up getting arrested and dragged off campus in cuffs.

2 months in my new dorm, I suddenly hear water running loudly. I open my dorm room and see water flowing down the hall from the bathroom...I go into the bathroom and the main line supplying water to the dorm had burst in the bathroom...needless to say it was a f***king mess of epic proportions.

Sophomore year:

I discovered that the room next to mine was empty.....and mysteriously unlocked! After that it became my personal f**k room for sophomore and junior year as no one lived there either years and the room was never locked. :D

And many many others...
 

alkemyst

No Lifer
Feb 13, 2001
83,769
19
81
a couple:

On the first day my ex wife's devout christian parents, sister and two young brothers came to visit we had to go to church and then taco bell with them.

Some hippy chick came up to the window screamed and plastered her boobs against the glass.

That was funny.


Another time a chick came selling magazines for some trip. She was hot so I had her come in. She asked me to sit then kneeled in front of me, placing the brochure in my lap while she rested her arms on my thighs.

Same ex-wife came in right when that happened and before I could react.

Funny now, not so funny then.

There was a couple chicks that wanted to mess around and didn't believe I was married. One day they told me to bike past a certain spot on campus as they wanted to show me something...both of them were going at it naked when I did.

They later found out my address and came to my apartment at 11pm. Tried to start a fight with my ex wife thinking she was just a girlfriend. Told her they already 'did me' anyway.

not a good night.

There was a lot more.
 

Jeff7

Lifer
Jan 4, 2001
41,596
19
81
Originally posted by: HardcoreRobot
too many

if you went to college and dont have any of these you should not have received a diploma
Yay! I have one story! I pass!

Someone's roommate put some chicken nuggets in the microwave for 99:99. They wound up looking like little charcoal briquettes, the extremely concentrated heat shattered the rotating glass tray, and the inside of the microwave (and apartment) stank.
Only thing to do: A bunch of engineering students took it outside into the quad and started microwaving things.

Lightbulbs: interesting. They fizzle and light up in several colors before popping.
Old mayonaisse in a squeeze-bottle: Lid burst open and splattered the front of the window.
Bar of soap: Didn't think of it, wish I would have. :(


The best though was a lighter. :D
After the top of it caught fire, it burned with a lazy flame. Presumably once the air/fuel mixture inside was right, there was a boom. :) The door blew open with a burst of flames, and it sounded like a gun, but with more bass. Several people came out of their apartments to see what had just blown up, saw engineers with a microwave, and went back inside. Fortunately Police & Safety was not in the area.
I don't remember what else was microwaved, but eventually something outright caught fire, and the microwave stopped working.


But that's about it as far as crazy college stuff goes.



Oh, and I think I smelled marijuana smoke for the first time, but I didn't get confirmation. It was not like any tobacco smoke I'd smelled before, but was still not at all pleasant.
 

RbSX

Diamond Member
Jan 18, 2002
8,351
1
76
I would have to say my first experience big experience was...

We weren't allowed to bring glass bottles into my res building so I punched out the fly screen on my second floor room, tied two cat4 cables together attached to my buddy's napsack, and hoisted all of the beer through the window.