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Crazy relative - Future Dexter or "boys will be boys?"

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OlafSicky said:
You got 2 options here

  1. A real psycho that needs to see a psychiatrist fast
  2. A disturbed kid desperate for attention with shitheads for parents.
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reminds of "cute little yippy dog syndrome."

"Oh, look at precious! how just nips at those big dogs and jumps up and down and barks in their face! she's just so cute, she couldn't harm anything, but she thinks she can!"

the reality, is that Precious is a major asshole and all the other dogs in the dog park hate her because she instigates everything. Same kind of negligent parenting, oblivious to bad behavior.
 
shortylickens said:
6 years old is WAY too early to determine how fucked up someone will be.
And most 6 year old boys seem evil just when you look at them. If you talk to the boy you will probably find him to be basically normal.

On a completely unrelated subject, children need discipline so they dont turn into assholes. The parents are seriously slacking.
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By 6, you should understand how to treat animals. Kids certainly still have little concept of proper force, or difficulties controlling excitement or emotion, but if that 6 year old doesn't understand that killing a cat is wrong, then there are problems.
 
shortylickens said:
6 years old is WAY too early to determine how fucked up someone will be.
And most 6 year old boys seem evil just when you look at them. If you talk to the boy you will probably find him to be basically normal.
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Between my exposure to my daughter's friends (she is now older than 6), my 7-year old son's friends and soccer and basketball teammates, my 6 year-old nephew's friends, and the 5 & 6 year olds I coached last basketball season, I feel I can confidently say, you are wrong.

On a completely unrelated subject, children need discipline so they dont turn into assholes. The parents are seriously slacking.
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This is actually the main problem. Saying "boys will be boys" is code for "I am a lazy parent and will not engage in the hard part of parenting - discipline".

MotionMan
 
MotionMan said:
Between my exposure to my daughter's friends (she is now older than 6), my 7-year old son's friends and soccer and basketball teammates, my 6 year-old nephew's friends, and the 5 & 6 year olds I coached last basketball season, I feel I can confidently say, you are wrong.



This is actually the main problem. Saying "boys will be boys" is code for "I am a lazy parent and will not engage in the hard part of parenting - discipline".

MotionMan
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I completely will subscribe to any parenting periodical written by MotionMan. I feel like I'm gently guiding my little 3.5 month old "don't put your feet in your mouth," plus positive reinforcement to the max. It's sad that so many feel that, even at six, you should let nature rule (instead of attempting to shape the natural state).
 
OlafSicky said:
You got 2 options here
A real psycho that needs to see a psychiatrist fast
A disturbed kid desperate for attention with shitheads for parents.
Click to expand...

Sounds about right to me. Honestly OP, unless the parents start parenting, I'd probably do as your sister did and stop visiting when they're around. I'd guess (hope) your parents would rather see their own immediate family, rather than extended family, for the holidays and will stop inviting them.

Alternatively, you could get confrontational with them, tell them what you think of their parenting skills and their son, and maybe they'll decide not to visit in the future on their own. Sounds rather like you don't much care for them anyway.
 
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Gooberlx2 said:
Sounds about right to me. Honestly OP, unless the parents start parenting, I'd probably do as your sister did and stop visiting when they're around. I'd guess (hope) your parents would rather see their own immediate family, rather than extended family, for the holidays and will stop inviting them.

Alternatively, you could get confrontational with them, tell them what you think of their parenting skills and their son, and maybe they'll decide not to visit in the future on their own.
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I just emailed my cousin an apology - said I crossed the line and should never have gotten involved. In other words, I don't want to be in Dexter's crosshairs and they already mean so little to me that I'm just not going to get involved.

My mom will obviously bow down to the pressure of my sister and I (and all of her grandkids) not attending christmas if they're present, that seems to be the most sane way of dealing with this.
 
shortylickens said:
6 years old is WAY too early to determine how fucked up someone will be.
And most 6 year old boys seem evil just when you look at them. If you talk to the boy you will probably find him to be basically normal.

On a completely unrelated subject, children need discipline so they dont turn into assholes. The parents are seriously slacking.
Click to expand...

wrong

wrong

wrong

right

1/4 ain't....good
 
Forget it, I dont wanna get permabanned.

Despite the fact all I ever do is respond to attacks and the mods never do a god damn thing about it no matter how much I complain.
 
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If my 6 YO acted like that I would be seeking help. Mine is rambunctious (like most normal 6 YO boys) but never violent or creepy.
 
there is no way that is 'boys will be boys'. that is 'i'm getting away with everything i can because no one is telling me i can't'
 
shortylickens said:
Fuck your dog.

Your cat.

Your parakeet.

And me.

I know I'm right. I used to be a 6 year old boy, and I actually remember what it used to be like. I also dont have any nostalgia (unlike the rest of you cockpunchers) and plenty of people thought I'd be evil cuz I liked fire. Nothing more annoying than being told you're a monster when you know damn well they're wrong.

I have never been to jail, never killed anyone, destroyed a building by any means, never even hit someone except in self defense.

I stand by my original declaration. You can never be SURE if a kid is pure evil at age 6, regardless of his actions. He could very well be acting out simply cuz his parents are shit. Thats not a serious psychological disorder thats just what happens to children with no discipline. And all little boys SEEM bad until you get to know them. Especially with you nostalgia ridden fools who think all little girls are automatically good, even though I know very well that isnt true at all.

And how the dickens can I be wrong about talking to him? None of you armchair psychologists actually has.
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I was an absolute angel at age 6. These days though, I just can't stop wondering what would happen if I jumped on freedomsbeat212's cat.
 
Sounds like bad parenting, 100%. Even if he is a psychopath (which is probably unlikely), his parents should be able to instill some degree of discipline in him.
 
In the ER we call that a feral child. In essence the child has no parents. You certainly are not going to be able to change the skills of his parents. Your best option is to honestly and plainly tell your parents that you and your sister would prefer that they do not invite this part of the family over.
Being a parent of 3, and an uncle to 13, I will tell you it is nothing inherent in the child. This is a case of nurture not nature. His uncivilized tendencies may have been more than other children, but without parents to reinforce good behavior and punish bad behavior, he is truely ignorant of the evil he commits. If this were a close family member I would actually have the need to instruct the parents in the error of their ways but since this is a group that you can easily exclude from your life then that is the best option. Luckily he will soon be institutionalized in the form of school but I hope that he learns to behave or he will be institutionalized further.
 
mattpegher said:
In the ER we call that a feral child. In essence the child has no parents. You certainly are not going to be able to change the skills of his parents. Your best option is to honestly and plainly tell your parents that you and your sister would prefer that they do not invite this part of the family over.
Being a parent of 3, and an uncle to 13, I will tell you it is nothing inherent in the child. This is a case of nurture not nature. His uncivilized tendencies may have been more than other children, but without parents to reinforce good behavior and punish bad behavior, he is truely ignorant of the evil he commits. If this were a close family member I would actually have the need to instruct the parents in the error of their ways but since this is a group that you can easily exclude from your life then that is the best option. Luckily he will soon be institutionalized in the form of school but I hope that he learns to behave or he will be institutionalized further.
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Was at my parents tonight and had a long talk about the kid. I think the consensus is that it's a little of Column A (nature) and a whole lot of Column B. For example, the kid swiped a ring of my mom's and my dad confronted his father about it. The guy just stood there, blinking. He didn't say a single word, either embarrassment /shame/ apology- nada. It was like talking to a zombie because he was simply incapable of parenting. My dad, a guy who kinda likes confrontation (hey, I do too when it's deserved) tried to raise the subject again and again but his parents both completely tuned out. The kid's been accused of stealing things from 4 different sets of relatives and they persist "we're an upper middle class family! my kid does not steal!" meaning they don't even talk to him, they immediately act like a buffer and shun any responsibility. Sickening. The theft is petty to me, I had a collecting phase too but it wasn't mean spirited or hurtful - his attitude toward animals is what really scares me, and not because I'm an ASPCA nutcase but because I really to feel like it's a sign of much worse to come.

Cutting the chord, have absolutely nothing to do with these people anymore and I learned a quick and dirty lesson about the dangers of passive parenting.
 
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zinfamous said:
reminds of "cute little yippy dog syndrome."

"Oh, look at precious! how just nips at those big dogs and jumps up and down and barks in their face! she's just so cute, she couldn't harm anything, but she thinks she can!"

the reality, is that Precious is a major asshole and all the other dogs in the dog park hate her because she instigates everything. Same kind of negligent parenting, oblivious to bad behavior.
Click to expand...

I fucking hate those kinds of dog owners. They flip their shit when their dog finally gets served too. "OMG YOUR BIG DOG ATTACKED MINE!" No shit? Your tiny shit for brains was trying to nip my rottweilers balls.
 
Theb said:
These days though, I just can't stop wondering what would happen if I jumped on freedomsbeat212's cat.
Click to expand...

l.jpg

Senor Kiki will f*ck you up, just like he did that punk ass kid!
 
zinfamous said:
By 6, you should understand how to treat animals. Kids certainly still have little concept of proper force, or difficulties controlling excitement or emotion, but if that 6 year old doesn't understand that killing a cat is wrong, then there are problems.
Click to expand...

I would agree with this, except that I think a lot of it comes from parental reinforcement. My 4 year old son chases our cat and would try to do things like pull her tail when he was younger, but we stepped in and corrected that behavior. If we hadn't, I don't see how he would know what was appropriate or inappropriate.

Based on what you've described, I'm leaning towards lack of parenting as well. Hopefully if your family makes a united attempt to enforce some sort of consequence on the parents (excluding them, confronting them, etc.), they'll get the message and try to remedy the situation.
 
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