I was flying out of Reagan National (D.C.) earlier this week, and I had a good four hours to kill at the airport. I decided to have some lunch at the airport version of T.G.I. Friday's (however horribly overpriced it may be).
To start with, the service was atrocious. First, I ordered a "Sprite" (I spoke very clearly). The waitress brought me a Coke. My food was delivered and silverware was nowhere to be found. I had to actually walk up to the bar and ask for a place setting. Unacceptable, IMHO.
But then, just as I was starting on my French fries, I hear someone behind me say "NO!! Don't touch that!" I quickly spin around in my chair to see a man shoving the waitress away. Apparently he was carrying a very heavy bag and she tried to help him with it. And he didn't like that.
So this weird guy who shoves restaurants staffers gets seated next to me, and immediately, his schizophrenia starts rearing its head. First, he breathes weird. Try this: inhale and exhale. Normal, right? Well this man HUMMED WHILE BREATHING. Try doing that. Annoying as fvck, right? Right.
So then, he says very loudly, "Oh, God, please let me have enough money for this meal," and begins to shuffle through his wallet. Then, he spots a picture of his parents:
"Oh Momma, Daddy, it's not my fault. I don't know what happened - they must have brought in the bat people from Everybody Loves Raymond. I swear it wasn't me, Momma. I just don't know, they must have been actors - replacements, you know? Momma, I SWEAR!" I snuck a quick glance at the guy: he was IMMACULATELY dressed, and had on perfectly-white shoes. But his lips were COMPLETELY chewed to shreds...maybe it's a nervous tic or something.
EDIT: I just remembered more of his conversation. "They're looking at my TV, seeing what I watch, and then bringing in the actors; they're tracking my viewing habits!"
At this point, my face is almost buried in my basket of fries. I'm afraid to look at this guy for fear that he'll start yelling at me, or worse. Customers are starting to turn around in their seats to look. My waitress had already given me the bill ($13.05) so I pull out $14 (for the bad service), leave it on the table, and get the fvck out of the restaurant. When I turned around, he was still talking nonsense, and the entire waitstaff of the restaurant was gathered around the hostess stand, trying to figure out what to do.
Damn, I'd HATE to be seated next to that guy on an airplane.
To start with, the service was atrocious. First, I ordered a "Sprite" (I spoke very clearly). The waitress brought me a Coke. My food was delivered and silverware was nowhere to be found. I had to actually walk up to the bar and ask for a place setting. Unacceptable, IMHO.
But then, just as I was starting on my French fries, I hear someone behind me say "NO!! Don't touch that!" I quickly spin around in my chair to see a man shoving the waitress away. Apparently he was carrying a very heavy bag and she tried to help him with it. And he didn't like that.
So this weird guy who shoves restaurants staffers gets seated next to me, and immediately, his schizophrenia starts rearing its head. First, he breathes weird. Try this: inhale and exhale. Normal, right? Well this man HUMMED WHILE BREATHING. Try doing that. Annoying as fvck, right? Right.
So then, he says very loudly, "Oh, God, please let me have enough money for this meal," and begins to shuffle through his wallet. Then, he spots a picture of his parents:
"Oh Momma, Daddy, it's not my fault. I don't know what happened - they must have brought in the bat people from Everybody Loves Raymond. I swear it wasn't me, Momma. I just don't know, they must have been actors - replacements, you know? Momma, I SWEAR!" I snuck a quick glance at the guy: he was IMMACULATELY dressed, and had on perfectly-white shoes. But his lips were COMPLETELY chewed to shreds...maybe it's a nervous tic or something.
EDIT: I just remembered more of his conversation. "They're looking at my TV, seeing what I watch, and then bringing in the actors; they're tracking my viewing habits!"
At this point, my face is almost buried in my basket of fries. I'm afraid to look at this guy for fear that he'll start yelling at me, or worse. Customers are starting to turn around in their seats to look. My waitress had already given me the bill ($13.05) so I pull out $14 (for the bad service), leave it on the table, and get the fvck out of the restaurant. When I turned around, he was still talking nonsense, and the entire waitstaff of the restaurant was gathered around the hostess stand, trying to figure out what to do.
Damn, I'd HATE to be seated next to that guy on an airplane.
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