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Could use some opinions: your g/f and her "best friend"

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Personally, I have a ton of guy friends..and we hang out a lot and eating together is not that big of a deal, imo. I go out and eat with my brother a lot too (mainly cuz he's making money and can feed a lowly college student)..but if you trust your girlfriend..you should listen to her..her friend probably is trying to make a move on her..but she seems pretty devoted to you and has made pretty valid points...and you badgering her or constantly asking her about the situation might actually make the situation worse...

HOWEVER, I do feel that if someone likes/liked someone only a few months prior, it's hard to shake off those feelings so quickly. I think she may be in denial or just doesn't want to admit the fact that he likes her, maybe to appease you or to not make the situation escalate into something unnecessary (who knows?)..maybe you should give it a week or so...and if your gut feeling is still there..just have a good, rational talk with the guy...present the situation to him and see what he says..

The majority of my friends are guys...and to ask your girlfriend or imply that you don't want her hanging out with guys...especially while your apart is unrealistic and somewhat selfish, imo. If you're not around, you can't really expect her to stop being friends with her close friends just because they are guys..

..But that's just one girl's opinion, and i don't completely know your situation...
 
Originally posted by: ThisIsKimbO
Personally, I have a ton of guy friends..and we hang out a lot and eating together is not that big of a deal, imo. I go out and eat with my brother a lot too (mainly cuz he's making money and can feed a lowly college student)..but if you trust your girlfriend..you should listen to her..her friend probably is trying to make a move on her..but she seems pretty devoted to you and has made pretty valid points...and you badgering her or constantly asking her about the situation might actually make the situation worse...

HOWEVER, I do feel that if someone likes/liked someone only a few months prior, it's hard to shake off those feelings so quickly. I think she may be in denial or just doesn't want to admit the fact that he likes her, maybe to appease you or to not make the situation escalate into something unnecessary (who knows?)..maybe you should give it a week or so...and if your gut feeling is still there..just have a good, rational talk with the guy...present the situation to him and see what he says..

The majority of my friends are guys...and to ask your girlfriend or imply that you don't want her hanging out with guys...especially while your apart is unrealistic and somewhat selfish, imo. If you're not around, you can't really expect her to stop being friends with her close friends just because they are guys..

..But that's just one girl's opinion, and i don't completely know your situation...
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I could care less if she hangs out with "guys".. It's not "guys" I care about. It's one guy, as in her and a guy. Alone.. not as a group, etc. etc.


I always knew that they hung out with friends (as in her, a couple girls, a couple guys, etc. )
 
Girl, if you ever offer youself to this guy who said that he's not interested anymore, you'll find out that his interest will suddenly appear. It's very hard to be just friends with a guy if he had that kind of interest in the first place.
 
Jacob: did you ever have feelings for paul?
Jennǽ: not really, i liked hanging out with him, and i dont think i would have ever gone out with him, it was kind of like he was the only one who would hang out with me so i hung on to that
Jacob: ok
Jacob: did you ever have feelings for paul?
Jacob: it's a yes or no kind of thing
Jennǽ: no, not romantically
 
She has dinner in the cafeteria with a friend instead of alone and you're copying and pasting IMs onto a forum for thousands to see and you think she's the problem?????
 
Originally posted by: silverpig
She has dinner in the cafeteria with a friend instead of alone and you're copying and pasting IMs onto a forum for thousands to see and you think she's the problem?????
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sorry for asking for a third party opinion..?
 
Originally posted by: silverpig
She has dinner in the cafeteria with a friend instead of alone and you're copying and pasting IMs onto a forum for thousands to see and you think she's the problem?????
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I'd be pissed if I were her. You are crazy. Quit posting extremely personal stuff on a forum. If she's a known slut then watch out, but if she's a devoted girl, then let it go and trust her. Either way, she's gonna bang who she wants to, and you annoying her about this guy is only going to make him look better.
 
Why is it so hard for the majority here to believe a man could maintain a non-sexual relationship with a woman? He (the best friend) may *want* to have sex with her, but then again, he (and almost all men) want to have sex with ALL the women they find attractive. Attraction is completely normal. I'm sure he also enjoys her company.

I have two really really painfully attractive female friends, and even though I'd probably fall to my knees and accept God into my life if the oppurtunity EVER arose to get it on with them, I've never once actually pursued that avenue. We get coffee, we get lunch, we go to dinner, we go to movies, etc. etc. etc. As friends. Nothing more. Both of them have boyfriends, I'm not gay, and everything is peachy keen.......... as long as they never see the hair dolls I've made.....

If you trust your girlfriend not to fool around, it doesn't really matter what the other guy wants because that's what the vast majority of guys who meet your girlfriend will want. Him liking her is a given. As long as the oppurtunity doesn't present itself, they can be friends. If she ever chooses to present the oppurtunity, THEN you can come back and restart this thread. Perhaps you're being unnecessarily insecure?
 
Originally posted by: amcdonald
Originally posted by: silverpig
She has dinner in the cafeteria with a friend instead of alone and you're copying and pasting IMs onto a forum for thousands to see and you think she's the problem?????
Click to expand...
I'd be pissed if I were her. You are crazy. Quit posting extremely personal stuff on a forum. If she's a known slut then watch out, but if she's a devoted girl, then let it go and trust her. Either way, she's gonna bang who she wants to, and you annoying her about this guy is only going to make him look better.
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point taken...
 
Originally posted by: scottdog81
ok....so soon she will be moving in with Paul and 2 other girls? What is the bedroom situation?
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I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's like my g/f in her room, the two other girls sharing a room, and the guy w/ his own room?
 
Originally posted by: se7enty7
Originally posted by: scottdog81
ok....so soon she will be moving in with Paul and 2 other girls? What is the bedroom situation?
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I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's like my g/f in her room, the two other girls sharing a room, and the guy w/ his own room?
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Yeah I would definitely make sure they're not sharing a room....make sure there's at least 3 rooms in that place they're staying 🙂

 
Originally posted by: Paunchy
Why is it so hard for the majority here to believe a man could maintain a non-sexual relationship with a woman? He (the best friend) may *want* to have sex with her, but then again, he (and almost all men) want to have sex with ALL the women they find attractive. Attraction is completely normal. I'm sure he also enjoys her company.

I have two really really painfully attractive female friends, and even though I'd probably fall to my knees and accept God into my life if the oppurtunity EVER arose to get it on with them, I've never once actually pursued that avenue. We get coffee, we get lunch, we go to dinner, we go to movies, etc. etc. etc. As friends. Nothing more. Both of them have boyfriends, I'm not gay, and everything is peachy keen.......... as long as they never see the hair dolls I've made.....

If you trust your girlfriend not to fool around, it doesn't really matter what the other guy wants because that's what the vast majority of guys who meet your girlfriend will want. Him liking her is a given. As long as the oppurtunity doesn't present itself, they can be friends. If she ever chooses to present the oppurtunity, THEN you can come back and restart this thread. Perhaps you're being unnecessarily insecure?
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Hello Paul.
 
Originally posted by: silverpig
I have a lot of female friends who are just friends and who I've had dinner with alone. No big deal. If she's trustworthy, then you have nothing to worry about. She should be able to have her own friends too.
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Yes, but how many of them have you dated at some point?

The OP has the whole usual male territoriality thing going, which is understandable in a long distance relationship. Actually, that's the key factor to this whole thing. How long until the two of you can get together on a permanent basis? Because if you think you can wait that long, there's a chance. Otherwise... well, looks a lot more iffy. Jealously is an ugly thing to deal with in any form, especially fueled with paranoia.
 
Originally posted by: amcdonald
Originally posted by: Paunchy
Why is it so hard for the majority here to believe a man could maintain a non-sexual relationship with a woman? He (the best friend) may *want* to have sex with her, but then again, he (and almost all men) want to have sex with ALL the women they find attractive. Attraction is completely normal. I'm sure he also enjoys her company.

I have two really really painfully attractive female friends, and even though I'd probably fall to my knees and accept God into my life if the oppurtunity EVER arose to get it on with them, I've never once actually pursued that avenue. We get coffee, we get lunch, we go to dinner, we go to movies, etc. etc. etc. As friends. Nothing more. Both of them have boyfriends, I'm not gay, and everything is peachy keen.......... as long as they never see the hair dolls I've made.....

If you trust your girlfriend not to fool around, it doesn't really matter what the other guy wants because that's what the vast majority of guys who meet your girlfriend will want. Him liking her is a given. As long as the oppurtunity doesn't present itself, they can be friends. If she ever chooses to present the oppurtunity, THEN you can come back and restart this thread. Perhaps you're being unnecessarily insecure?
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Hello Paul.
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:Q
 
Originally posted by: eakers
i wouldn't like it but i'm crazy like that.

ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed.
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DON'T do that..... cuz then, she will TOTALLY say "blabla, I would trust you but it seems like YOU don't trust ME huh?!" Over and done.
 
Originally posted by: amcdonald
Originally posted by: silverpig
She has dinner in the cafeteria with a friend instead of alone and you're copying and pasting IMs onto a forum for thousands to see and you think she's the problem?????
Click to expand...
I'd be pissed if I were her. You are crazy. Quit posting extremely personal stuff on a forum. If she's a known slut then watch out, but if she's a devoted girl, then let it go and trust her. Either way, she's gonna bang who she wants to, and you annoying her about this guy is only going to make him look better.
Click to expand...
Without a doubt, the best advice yet. :beer:

Just drop it, there's no sense worrying about it. Either she's an honest chick who will be faithful. Or she's a cheating ho who you will end up kicking to the curb. IF the other guy is actually pursuing her, then you are doing EXACTLY what he wants you to do. Drop it.
 
Hmm, there's nothing to think about here. She's cheating on you. End of story. Did you really need to ask? I think you know, but you want someone to tell you that it sounds perfectly normal.

I'm willing to bet money on it.. if you dump her, they will be together within weeks. Guaranteed.
 
Originally posted by: se7enty7
My g/f and I have been dating off and on for 3 years or so. There is this guy, who she was good (read best) friends with while we were apart (I was also dating someone else)

My g/f and I got back together about a year ago, (maybe less) and her and this guy who she was "best friends" with stopped hanging out. Now in the past 6 months they've gotten close again. I found out awhile ago that they are going to be roommates. I found out last night that they frequently eat dinner together (i.e. alone..)


She goes to school some 60 miles away or so. She comes every weekend and stays with me, and also stays with me during any breaks (summer, xmas, etc)

How would you treat the situation w/ this "best friend"
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Why did you part the first time? Sounds like you and she might have some issues. Maybe it's best if you move on.

I had a girlfriend when I was in college and we split up after dating for almost 3 years. I think we just got bored with each other and had grown apart. Right after we split up she started seeing some other dude though which really tore me up but 6 months later her relationship with the other dude went sour and I started dating her again. I moved 200 miles away about 5 months later and that pretty much ended that relationship. Best move I ever made though.
 
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