Captante
Lifer
- Oct 20, 2003
- 30,353
- 10,876
- 136
While I'm sure it wasn't an easy decision, saying no was a very wise idea & in the long run you'll be better off. Maybe you could help her out with a small amount of money directly from you for an inexpensive used car, but the potential downside to financing a new care for her on your credit is just too severe to risk it.
YOyoYOhowsDAjello
Moderator<br>A/V & Home Theater<br>Elite member
- Aug 6, 2001
- 31,205
- 45
- 91
YOyoYOhowsDAjello
Moderator<br>A/V & Home Theater<br>Elite member
- Aug 6, 2001
- 31,205
- 45
- 91
Don't do this. If she needs a car, there are finance companies who cater to the credit challenged.
I've seen this scenario a zillion times. The cosigner almost always gets hosed.
I've seen this scenario a zillion times. The cosigner almost always gets hosed.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
True and the flip side is even if she did, but could not make the payments; you'd be responsible.
Sueing her or not, if she can't pay the car...she definitely would not be able to pay you either.
I made the mistake of opening a joint account with an ex g/f. We had direct deposit, but what I didn't know was about 1/3-1/2 her money was also going to another account.
Now being g/f vs wife this could still happen, however; I firmly agree you either do everything joint money or separate money. If the latter then you have one true joint account you simply both make an equal contribution to for bills each month....
I also got stuck with a $211 water bill which she wasn't paying and after she moved out the bill was being forwarded to her so I had no idea. Even though my name was not on that debt, since it was an encumberance on my apartment I was responsible. The kicker is our water was usually a fraction of that...when I tried to call to report the error in the billing, I was told I was not on the account so couldn't do anything.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
you are also option A if it's an easier course for battle.
In my divorce, I had many many people approach me first as cosigner that never even tried to call my ex-wife.
Also on the flip side...by taking on a co-signor you risk that if they ever file bankruptcy your debt will be flagged as doing the same, even if your debt is always paid on time.
This will be problematic for any 'automatic credit' programs like the ones most stores offer. The program just looks for certain flags on your credit report and if they see a recent bankruptcy attached to it, you are always denied. I had to deal with that for 7 years even though my car was never late and actually paid off 6 months early.
Mermaidman
Diamond Member
- Sep 4, 2003
- 7,987
- 93
- 91
You don't need her permission to sue her
Glad you made the right decision. Hopefully, she also learns that getting a new car is not a good financial move for young people.
alkemyst
No Lifer
- Feb 13, 2001
- 83,769
- 19
- 81
All the above said, you have to be diplomatic on this. You as her boyfriend and also the one she is doing things she may not normally do, are now also the one keeping her from what may be very well her dream.
You have to weigh the battle and it's effect on you if you lose. When I was young I didn't have as much money to shower on my g/fs as I did later. I will say the more money you have the easier women come. Fortunately even in my poor bumps in the road I was able to win them over with personality.
If cosigning perhaps helps her to build credit and if you had to pay off that debt (which I would expect to happen if we broke up, hoping she could then get first refinanced; but satisfying the loan myself if not) you easily could...then I would say go for it if you think she has the potential to be you future wife/lifetime companion (and this is sometime after a couple years of dating definitely not in the first 6 months-1 year).
I have been in too many situations where the chick was looking more for me helping financially at times than really thinking I was her one and only. Once you get them ahead on bills then they suddenly go from being all over you anywhere and everywhere to totally frigid waiting for you to break up with them so they can play the victim card. I had practice in this as my ex-wife and I were still sexually active together although we were also divorcing and seeing other people. It was not rare that both of us showed up coming home plus or minus a few minutes after excusing ourselves from someone else's place only to taunt each other with it and usually ending up having angry sex.
You have to weigh the battle and it's effect on you if you lose. When I was young I didn't have as much money to shower on my g/fs as I did later. I will say the more money you have the easier women come. Fortunately even in my poor bumps in the road I was able to win them over with personality.
If cosigning perhaps helps her to build credit and if you had to pay off that debt (which I would expect to happen if we broke up, hoping she could then get first refinanced; but satisfying the loan myself if not) you easily could...then I would say go for it if you think she has the potential to be you future wife/lifetime companion (and this is sometime after a couple years of dating definitely not in the first 6 months-1 year).
I have been in too many situations where the chick was looking more for me helping financially at times than really thinking I was her one and only. Once you get them ahead on bills then they suddenly go from being all over you anywhere and everywhere to totally frigid waiting for you to break up with them so they can play the victim card. I had practice in this as my ex-wife and I were still sexually active together although we were also divorcing and seeing other people. It was not rare that both of us showed up coming home plus or minus a few minutes after excusing ourselves from someone else's place only to taunt each other with it and usually ending up having angry sex.
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