Cool sounding names for worthless jobs

[Amplifier]

Any of you know a job that has a pretty cool name but in reality sucks?

Example: Postmaster General aka mail bitch.

 

[Goosemaster]

Vehicular Moderator = Valet

 

[suse920]

sub artists aka sub bitch

 

[santaliqueur]

sanitation engineer - trash collector

CJ

 

[chuckywang]

Anandtech Moderator

 

[sonz70]

biochemical remover = cum cleaner at porno viewing rooms

 

[Nomada]

prima donna

 

[Goosemaster]

"greeter"

 

[Chode Messiah]

tampon secretion analyst (was in popular science or mechanics, I foget which)
also, whats the name for those people that run through forests w/ white sheets to collect ticks?

 

[suse920]

tps report bitch aka tps report bitch.

 

[Zenmervolt]

Portfolio Analyst = CFA's b!tch for 12-16 hours a day.

 

[kogase]

Quality Assurance Technician -> a.k.a. software testing peon

 

[Passions]

Originally posted by: chuckywang
Anandtech Moderator

Ouch!

Process Engineer = Paper pusher.

 

[mitchafi]

I love the commercials for technical schools that scroll a list of jobs you can be certified in at the school. They pretty much attach the word "technician" to the end of every job to make it sound like it is actually a meaningful job. One that I remember was the most amusing is "nail technician" aka giving people manicures.

 

[quakefiend420]

Originally posted by: chuckywang
Anandtech Moderator

:Q

 

[keeleysam]

Originally posted by: chuckywang
Anandtech Moderator

10/10

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:

 

[shortylickens]

I was a deck seaman in the navy.
We chip paint and grease up deck gear.

One time we came up with the title:
"Exterior Shipboard Preservation Specialist and Deck Equipment Maintenence Technician."

Its so much cooler if you capitilize each word.

 

[Chode Messiah]

escort=ho

 

[kogase]

Originally posted by: shortylickens
I was a deck seaman in the navy.
We chip paint and grease up deck equipment.

Eh, that name sounds about right...

 

[andylawcc]

Originally posted by: kogase

Originally posted by: shortylickens
I was a deck seaman in the navy.
We chip paint and grease up deck equipment.

Eh, that name sounds about right...

hehehe

 

[GasX]

Yeah, running the one profitable federal enterprise is a bitch...

 

[shortylickens]

I'm sorry guys, I took too long remembering my cool made-up title.
See my edit above.

 

[GrumpyMan]

Hospitality Department Head=Head Janitor.

 

[Mrvile]

Vice President = top bitch.

 

[amol]

Originally posted by: Mrvile
Vice President = top bitch.

I thought the President was the VP's bitch this time around