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Cool sounding names for worthless jobs

tampon secretion analyst (was in popular science or mechanics, I foget which)
also, whats the name for those people that run through forests w/ white sheets to collect ticks?
 
I love the commercials for technical schools that scroll a list of jobs you can be certified in at the school. They pretty much attach the word "technician" to the end of every job to make it sound like it is actually a meaningful job. One that I remember was the most amusing is "nail technician" aka giving people manicures.
 
I was a deck seaman in the navy.
We chip paint and grease up deck gear.

One time we came up with the title:
"Exterior Shipboard Preservation Specialist and Deck Equipment Maintenence Technician."

Its so much cooler if you capitilize each word.
 
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