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Comebacks

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Originally posted by: Hacp
Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?
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I'm pretty bad at comebacks too, but I have a friend whos good at them. The trick, he tells me, is to practice your ass off. Come up with ~100 comebacks and keep practicing in from of a mirror. That way, whenever you see an opportunity, its almost automatic.
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Yeah well practiced comebacks don't sound as good as the spontaneous ones.
 
Originally posted by: Flipped Gazelle
Originally posted by: acheron
Originally posted by: So
Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.
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I really wanted to post this. 🙁

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.
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Well I had sex with your wife.
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Is that why she was laughing so hard when he got home?
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You may be drunk, but I am ugly... no, wait. You may be ugly, but I am Winston Churchill, and.. no, wait, that's not it either.
 
Originally posted by: LordMorpheus
Well if you can't do comebacks, work out until you are really intimidating and always escalate (i.e. some guy: 'Your momma' you: *stepping close* 'wanna make something of it?')
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No, no, the point is not to intimidate. This is all in good fun. I'm talking about general banter.
 
Yes, well, I?m polymerized tree sap and you?re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
 
Originally posted by: JohnAn2112
Yes, well, I?m polymerized tree sap and you?re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
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LOL!
 
Originally posted by: acheron
Originally posted by: Flipped Gazelle
Originally posted by: acheron
Originally posted by: So
Originally posted by: ducci
The jerk store called, they're running out of you.
Click to expand...

I really wanted to post this. 🙁

Edit: What's the difference? You're their all time best seller.
Click to expand...

Well I had sex with your wife.
Click to expand...

Is that why she was laughing so hard when he got home?
Click to expand...

You may be drunk, but I am ugly... no, wait. You may be ugly, but I am Winston Churchill, and.. no, wait, that's not it either.
Click to expand...

You look just like Margaret Thatcher when you're drunk.
 
Originally posted by: JohnAn2112
Yes, well, I?m polymerized tree sap and you?re an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Click to expand...

you must be flexible to get the angles right every time...
 
Originally posted by: DrawninwarD
Originally posted by: Hacp
Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?
Click to expand...

I'm pretty bad at comebacks too, but I have a friend whos good at them. The trick, he tells me, is to practice your ass off. Come up with ~100 comebacks and keep practicing in from of a mirror. That way, whenever you see an opportunity, its almost automatic.
Click to expand...

Wow, what a brilliant goal in life. Standing in front of a mirror practicing comebacks.
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Well, my goal is to stand in front of a mirror practicing doing your MOM!!!


heh- I guess it is universal 😛
 
Originally posted by: Fritzo
Originally posted by: DrawninwarD
Originally posted by: Hacp
Originally posted by: nixium
OK, not quite suck. I usually think of something good to return with. Trouble is, it's a minute too late and I feel like banging my head against the wall.

Anyone else have this problem? Is it even possible to improve your comeback speed?
Click to expand...

I'm pretty bad at comebacks too, but I have a friend whos good at them. The trick, he tells me, is to practice your ass off. Come up with ~100 comebacks and keep practicing in from of a mirror. That way, whenever you see an opportunity, its almost automatic.
Click to expand...

Wow, what a brilliant goal in life. Standing in front of a mirror practicing comebacks.
Click to expand...

Well, my goal is to stand in front of a mirror practicing doing your MOM!!!


heh- I guess it is universal 😛
Click to expand...

Is that why you keep a dildo up your butt?
 
I'm shit at conversation in general. Typically, I don't think of a proper response to something until several hours later. If I'm stuck and forced to engage in conversation with someone, its usually lots of umming and long pauses on my end while I try to think of something to say and in such a short amount of time, it's ALWAYS something that doesn't make sense. I also stutter and mumble and generally speak too low for people around me to hear.

I hate talking.


edit: LOL, a minute late.. Try six hours later.

double edit: haha, you guys are talking about shit talking come backs.. I'm talking about "how's the weather" normal everyday conversation.

I can't do it 🙁
 
Tommy: Hey, I'll tell you what. You can get a good look at a butcher's ass by sticking your head up there. But, wouldn't you rather to take his word for it?

Mr. Brady, Customer: [confused] What? I'm failing to make the connection here.

Tommy: No, I mean is, you can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass... No, wait. It's gotta be your bull.

Richard: [embarrassed] Wow.

I think the bolded above would be me trying to do a comeback. Id mess it all up LOL.
 
My problem is that I am too quick with a comeback and I sometimes blurt something out when I should have held my tounge.
 
Originally posted by: oldsmoboat
My problem is that I am too quick with a comeback and I sometimes blurt something out when I should have held my tounge.
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That's what she said.
 
Anyway, I'm thinking the best way to 'learn' to comeback is watch lots of witty comedy. Maybe you'll pick something up through osmosis. How do people with snappy comebacks become good at it anyway?

The worst part is I used to be decent at comebacks. The last year or so, I've been very asocial. Maybe I've lost my abilities 🙁
 
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