I'm 20000 feet from a CO at my new house so DSL is out (OK, I could get 128K iDSL, but that doesn't really count.) Sprint Broadband isn't taking new subs, satellite is obscenely expensive and the 1500ms pings are vicious, and I can't get my work to spring for a T1.

I'm stuck with Comcast.
Here's my Comcast story - I called before I moved to see how much it would cost to move my service. "$20 for the TV and $25 for the internet" I was told. I was part of the rollout for TCI the month it first became available in Utah, almost four years ago. I stuck around when ATT grabbed them, when ATT ditched @home, and when Comcast took over.
So the technicians came out to my new house to install. TV, no problem, a simple move. Turns out it was $22.50, but I can eat the $2.50. Broadband, OTOH, was a fiasco. Since I'm in a former ATT area, I still had an attbi.com account. Comcast couldn't move that account, they had to set me up with a new Comcast account. They couldn't forward my email, although they had just send me a letter saying they'd support the attbi emails through 2004. If I could have somehow waited until June 30 to move, they would have created a new Comcast account as part of the transition and forwarded my attbi mail to it.
This was merely frustrating. My wife was a little pissed, because she got a lot more personal non-spam mail sent to her attbi account than I did. The thing that makes me want to scream is that they charged me the full $99 install fee because it wasn't a move, they had to create a new Comcast account. However, they refused to give me any new subscriber discounts or install waivers because I was already an existing customer. I think I have a pretty good argument that if they're going to call me a new subscriber for purposes of creating my account and deleting my old account, they should call me a new subscriber for purposes of billing, too.
Calls to CS got "there's nothing we can do" as a response. Of course, this is largely true - I know someone who works for Comcast CS, and she's said that the move ATT to Comcast has resulted in CS being almost completely unable to solve problems because everything has to be followed "by the book".
The TV's going at the end of the month. The broadband is going the minute I have any other affordable option.