College students who are still single

[shadow9d9]

Originally posted by: LEDominator
Your problem is right here:

For me, I don't know if I am afraid of commiting into a relationship or I am just plain ugly, I just can't find a girl that I think can be my girlfriend.
I am really anti-norm and reserved. I don't use myspace/xanga/friendster. I don't go to church. I keep any acquaintances away from my IM list.
I've given myself a nice half a year break. During this time I just do very recluse thing such as working out, practising guitar, and studying to better myself.

In order to meet girls you have to go out

Umm, not really. In school, simply hanging out with others or going to class is enough...

 

[PiMpY]

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

well whatever label you want to put on it but it does come down to percieved or real social status and it goes back to tribal times when the leader of the tribe would bang all the women in the village. its a hardwired social structure that evolved to best ensure the fittest offspring were the most likely to survive and keep the species in existence

it should also be noted that having an abundance of one indicator is often enough to make up for having none of any other and upgrading anyone indicator can effectively raise your status. For instance a shy average joe college kid can amplify his percieved status simply by upgrading his wardrobe and practicing being more confident. All of a sudden he will begin to stand out amongst his peers.

He speaks the truth. From an evolutionary point of view, higher status equals more mating opportunities. Perceived status is in fact real status because persecution equals reality. Become the leader, in as many ways as possible.
Don't believe it then go read "The Mating Mind"

It really depends on what you want out of life.

If you want to attract the overall top 15-20% of girls (Not everyone wants this, and I am perfectly fine with that but I know what I want) then you will need to improve yourself mentally and physically. Not surprisingly those girls improve themselves and they want someone who is similar to them.

You don't have to spend a grand to get a better wardrobe; you can take someone with a good fashion sense to goodwill and come out looking MUCH more attractive to women spending under 100 bucks.

You don't need to gain 40 pounds of muscle as well, but being in shape speaks volume as to what type of person you are, your self respect and control.

You must improve and build your confidence because it's one of the main keys to attraction.

Change is scary, change is the definition of stress, so you have to ask your self are you happy right now? If so continue on your path. But if you aren?t satisfied, then you will most definitely have to work at it whatever that may be and change is just unavoidable.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: Jeff7

The thing is, now I'm in college and I find myself using what I think of as considerable "processing time" in my mind to figure out and tell myself that people are just being funny or friendly. But I really don't know. Recently I was just walking back to my apartment, and ahead of me was a guy and girl, also just walking along. She said to me, "Hi person who looks interesting." I said "hi" back, not having any idea what more to say. What was her motivation for saying that? Why talk to me when I'm just minding my own business? Was it to get a cheap laugh at my response? (That has happened to me on numerous occasions - people trying to get me to talk, and no matter what I say, they'll like, laugh or high-five friends and walk away, like it's a bet to get me to speak.)


Yes, engineering, how'd you guess? Mechanical Engineering Technology.

its quite simple really. everything is what you make of it. I'm sure you could go through life thinking everything somebody says to you has some sort of negative spin and the universe is out to get you. But why would you do that when you can assume a better position that everything somebody says to you is because you are a valued person and they like you. When a girl randomly says something to me I dont assume she is making fun of me, I assume she wants me so I go and initiate flirtation and if it doesn't work out its her loss certainly not mine. Life is only what you make it and it can be positive or negative but dont blame anyone else but youreself.

life is like being in a sail boat. You are going to get alot of wind. now its what you do with the wind that determines the course of your boat!

in summary I came off harsh not because I'm arrogant but because there is too many negative antisocial freaks in the world as it is but hey maybe its your journey to be alone and miserable in this life so carry on.

 

[IceBergSLiM]

Originally posted by: bobsmith1492

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

Originally posted by: Jeff7

Originally posted by: IcebergSlim

the same habits will yield the same results. if you want things to change you must be willing to change. so the choice is yours.

That's just it....I also don't see much point in trying. I just don't know if it'll justify the effort required, which in itself is another reason that I think I'd best not attempt to change my "single" status right now. I understand that friendships and relationships do take effort, and I just don't seem to get much out of socializing to justify that.

then stay the same its no skin off my back. lord knows we don't need more people like you on the planet so I'll be glad if you never reproduce

Wow... Icebergman, you need to simmer down there, buddy; that's kinda hard on Jeff. I feel ya, Jeff; I could have written exactly what you did your first post on here. So, Iceberger, if everyone in the world was just a partier/hangoutandchatallday person, who would get all the work done? Which dedicated person would invent your latest processor, design your car, or whatnot? Some people are not as gifted in the social graces, but there is no point in ripping into them. Advice is one thing, but some people (me?) just need time to get acclamated to the social world or may never enter it. You don't need a hundred friends to be a good one; in fact, it's often the quieter, more shy people who will end up being your best and longest-lasting friend if you get to know them.

P.S.: are you going into engineering by any chance, Jeff, if you're still around?

i dont think any of the sucessful movers and shakers throughout history had the negative debilitating attitude that jeff has......you could argue that bill gates isnt the life of the party but he certainly can still interact and connect to other human beings on a normal level. for the record I dont party and hang out all day.

 

[bobsmith1492]

Yeah, I know, but I bet if you look at a lot of influential inventors and engineers, they were pretty unsociable in their younger years. (Side note: a lot of people say Gates didn't do much inventing; he simply ran a (great) business, which doesn't take any kind of design skill... but I don't know if that's true or whatever and it's irrelevant...)
Think Einstein, for example, and the inventors of all the little things you use; you can't name hardly any of them because they weren't out for publicity and connecting, but rather preferred to play around with stuff.

EDIT: Oh, and I wouldn't take any girl advice from someone named Pimpy either.

 

[NakaNaka]

Originally posted by: JS80
dude...you don't want a gf in college...

Yeah it's so terrible having someone to be there for you and getting laid on a regular basis. Who would ever ever want that?

 

[PiMpY]

Originally posted by: bobsmith1492
Yeah, I know, but I bet if you look at a lot of influential inventors and engineers, they were pretty unsociable in their younger years. (Side note: a lot of people say Gates didn't do much inventing; he simply ran a (great) business, which doesn't take any kind of design skill... but I don't know if that's true or whatever and it's irrelevant...)
Think Einstein, for example, and the inventors of all the little things you use; you can't name hardly any of them because they weren't out for publicity and connecting, but rather preferred to play around with stuff.

EDIT: Oh, and I wouldn't take any girl advice from someone named Pimpy either.

It was a name from my early teen years when I broke my leg and was "gimpy/limpy"

But hey, take whatever advice you want.

 

[nycdude]

Tony Montana says " Make the money, get the power, then the woman."