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clueless intern stories thread

brainhulk

brainhulk

Diamond Member
One of the guys mentioned it was so busy that we need some KY jelly stat. The new intern came back a couple minutes later saying she wasn't able to find the KY jelly on the shelves... :biggrin:

Bless her naive heart
 
Wait until she googles it on her phone/work computer and files a sexual harassment suit...
 
We were setting up for a mobile shoot. Middle of winter. Intern grabs the wrong XLR cable and gets told to put it away. So he's dragging it through the snow. Fortunately it wasn't live.

He picks it up, looks at me, and says "there's snow all in the end of it". I'm like, well duh, that's why you should have been wrapping it instead of dragging it.

He asks me how to get it out. It's very cold out so the snow is just powder. "Just blow it out", I said. Stupid me thinking he would just blow on it like we used to with game cartridges. Nope. He sticks the end in his mouth and starts sucking the snow out.

"No [Intern's name], don't give the cable a blowjob."

Two of the other crew members were just killing themselves laughing.

I had kinda figured that kid was gay. His instinctive reaction to "just blow on it" sealed the deal.

We had another intern who we called Quentin Tarantino, since he looked freakishly like the director. Seriously could have been his illegitimate son. Same look, same mannerisms, even a similar voice. We swore up and down this kid was a psychopath or at least a little schizophrenic. He used to disappear for big chunks of time. So my buddy goes off to take a leak, comes back and says he saw Quentin Tarantino singing to himself at the urinal. "He sings to himself while he takes a piss?" My buddy claims he wasn't even doing that. Just standing there, singing, creepily.
 
Last edited:
mmntech said:
We were setting up for a mobile shoot. Middle of winter. Intern grabs the XLR wrong cable and gets told to put it away. So he's dragging it through the snow. Fortunately it wasn't live.

He picks it up, looks at me, and says "there's snow all in the end of it". I'm like, well duh, that's why you should have been wrapping it instead of dragging it.

He asks me how to get it out. It's very cold out so the snow is just powder. "Just blow it out", I said. Stupid me thinking he would just blow on it like we used to with game cartridges. Nope. He sticks the end in his mouth and starts sucking the snow out.

"No [Intern's name], don't give the cable a blowjob."

Two of the other crew members were just killing themselves laughing.

I had kinda figured that kid was gay. His instinctive reaction to "just blow on it" sealed the deal.

We had another intern who we called Quentin Tarantino, since he looked freakishly like the director. Seriously could have been his illegitimate son. Same look, same mannerisms, even a similar voice. We swore up and down this kid was a psychopath or at least a little schizophrenic. He used to disappear for big chunks of time. So my buddy goes off to take a leak, comes back and says he saw Quentin Tarantino singing to himself at the urinal. "He sings to himself while he takes a piss?" My buddy claims he wasn't even doing that. Just standing there, singing, creepily.
Click to expand...

HAHAHA!!!

holy shit
 
Had an intern buy a butterfly nice during his internship. He tried showing off in front of the other interns at his temp apartment, and ended up slicing a tendon in his hand.

Ya...he was not offered a full time position the following year...
 
Had an intern working in our marketing department. I noticed our bandwidth was being hogged by this individual. So I look into it further and it appears she was watching netflix. I call to confirm and she acknowledges it. Told her she is eating up bandwidth so she turns it off for the afternoon. In the meantime implement a plan that drops netflix traffic. Next day she calls me asking shy she cant watch netflix, at work!!!

Oh it gets better. A full time employee actually had the balls to walk back to our IT department the next day and ask if we are blocking netflix. He couldnt watch his shows were his exact words /facepalm

Neither of them work here any longer.
 
We had a pair of interns who after obtaining security badges, decided since they had access to the building they should drop unannounced into the office of the U.S. Secretary of Treasury to say hello. The Secret Service was not pleased.
 
We had an intern who parked the company truck (with company logos) in front of a strip joint. It was a free standing building so no plausible deniability. He also made multiple logged attempts to defeat our net nanny to get to pron sites. Our manager was in discussion with another employee when the intern happened to walk past. The manager turns and says, "You're fired, turn in your keys", and goes back to his conversation. Kid was like, "Aaaaah".

We had another pair of interns who got drunk and wrecked a company truck. Wrecking a truck would not necessarily get one fired. The pair decided to wait several hours after the accident to call for medical help so they had time to sober up. The delay in reporting the wreck and delaying medical care got them fired.

One intern lasts exactly two hours. He showed up his first day and asked for a ride somewhere because he had lost his DL to multiple DUIs. The job required driving and he lied on the application. Gone.

One intern sent a multi-page email of dirty jokes to a longterm employee. The employee decided to print them and sent them to the worng printer, which happened to be in the IT shop. The IT nazis picked up the printout and started making calls. The longterm employee was able to spin bullshit about printing all emails before reading them as he had a hard time reading the screen (mid 90s timeframe) and saved his job. The intern was gone.

We had one intern who decided to lecture a helicopter pilot on what she perceived to be unsafe flying practices in mid-flight. It was the intern's first flight. The pilot shut off her mic and the intern was never allowed near a helicopter again.
 
had an intern a years ago, after 1 week on the job, walk up to the supervisor and say "Sorry, but God wants me to go in a different direction." Tossed his swipe badge on the table and walked out the door.
 
my first job out of school, come summer time, the summer intern shared my office because the guy who used to sit in there left.

at the end of summer when he was leaving, i asked him what he thought about it.

he said that he is glad he did this internship because he now knows he doesn't want to do development his whole life, and that he was going to change majors lol.
 
purbeast0 said:
my first job out of school, come summer time, the summer intern shared my office because the guy who used to sit in there left.

at the end of summer when he was leaving, i asked him what he thought about it.

he said that he is glad he did this internship because he now knows he doesn't want to do development his whole life, and that he was going to change majors lol.
Click to expand...

Hmm you might be lol'ing but he doesn't have to stare at a computer screen 40 hrs a week :hmm: Then go home and stare at the TV/computer.
 
purbeast0 said:
he said that he is glad he did this internship because he now knows he doesn't want to do development his whole life, and that he was going to change majors lol.
Click to expand...

I'm okay with that - "I can't end up like these people" is one of the things that some people learn during an internship.

We have a couple interns in this year, no fun stories yet. They're smart, they'll be fine - there's definitely a culture of "edumacation" around internships here, so we come up with legit assignments and tailor the projects to the individuals

One's pretty green though (just finished freshman year, kinda got a foot in the door because their dad works at the company). He comes around checking up on her, it's kinda cute. :biggrin:.
 
Had an intern (between his junior and senior years of college) not show up for work on Friday of his second week. Then on Monday...

kranky: Hey, Tom, what happened on Friday?
Intern: Nothing special, just taking care of errands.
kranky: I mean I'm asking why you didn't come in.
Intern: Um, like I said, taking care of some things I needed to do.
kranky: You didn't call or tell me ahead of time.
Intern: I had enough money from payday that I could afford to miss a day's work.
kranky: See, the point is that you need to be here every workday, not just when you need the money. We are counting on you to be here so the work gets done on time. We expect you to be here every workday unless you're sick or there's an emergency. If you can't make it, contact me to tell me. But we can't just be wondering if you might show up or not.
Intern: Oh, OK then.

Never had another problem but I always wondered what kind of jobs did the kid have in the past.
 
kranky said:
Had an intern (between his junior and senior years of college) not show up for work on Friday of his second week. Then on Monday...

kranky: Hey, Tom, what happened on Friday?
Intern: Nothing special, just taking care of errands.
kranky: I mean I'm asking why you didn't come in.
Intern: Um, like I said, taking care of some things I needed to do.
kranky: You didn't call or tell me ahead of time.
Intern: I had enough money from payday that I could afford to miss a day's work.
kranky: See, the point is that you need to be here every workday, not just when you need the money. We are counting on you to be here so the work gets done on time. We expect you to be here every workday unless you're sick or there's an emergency. If you can't make it, contact me to tell me. But we can't just be wondering if you might show up or not.
Intern: Oh, OK then.

Never had another problem but I always wondered what kind of jobs did the kid have in the past.
Click to expand...

LOL! That would be a fantastic schedule........ :hmm:
 
dave_the_nerd said:
I'm okay with that - "I can't end up like these people" is one of the things that some people learn during an internship.
Click to expand...

That happened to me in college. After one of my internships they asked if I wanted to come back in the winter, and I just completely froze up. :$

No amount of "nice BS" I said after that could fix my initial and unexpected reaction as I wasn't expecting that question. Still, I left on good terms and gave them some good suggestions for the next guy in.
 
One from my brother in law:

He was serving in Afghanistan when a brand new private arrived on base straight out of Basic. They liked to play this prank on new guys who didn't know the weapons they used on the Apaches... so when this 18 year old walks into the bay they start showing him one of the missiles (can't remember what kind) and there's a light that activates when the missile is armed... so one of the sergeants manually activates the light and yells to the rest of soldiers in the bay that the missile is armed and they all take cover. When my brother in law looked up after laughing his ass off, he saw the new private running down the bay with the missile in hand and he throws is out the back door... THROWS THE MISSILE. Needless to say, that prank was never pulled again.
 
Imp said:
That kid had balls... Wonder if they wrote the missile off or tried to salvage it.
Click to expand...

Wish I could tell you... BIL never mentioned what happened afterwards except that the commanding officer in the area shook hands with the kid the following day. He earned quite reputation for the rest of his rotation.
 
mmntech said:
We were setting up for a mobile shoot. Middle of winter. Intern grabs the wrong XLR cable and gets told to put it away. So he's dragging it through the snow. Fortunately it wasn't live.

He picks it up, looks at me, and says "there's snow all in the end of it". I'm like, well duh, that's why you should have been wrapping it instead of dragging it.

He asks me how to get it out. It's very cold out so the snow is just powder. "Just blow it out", I said. Stupid me thinking he would just blow on it like we used to with game cartridges. Nope. He sticks the end in his mouth and starts sucking the snow out.

"No [Intern's name], don't give the cable a blowjob."

Two of the other crew members were just killing themselves laughing.

I had kinda figured that kid was gay. His instinctive reaction to "just blow on it" sealed the deal.

We had another intern who we called Quentin Tarantino, since he looked freakishly like the director. Seriously could have been his illegitimate son. Same look, same mannerisms, even a similar voice. We swore up and down this kid was a psychopath or at least a little schizophrenic. He used to disappear for big chunks of time. So my buddy goes off to take a leak, comes back and says he saw Quentin Tarantino singing to himself at the urinal. "He sings to himself while he takes a piss?" My buddy claims he wasn't even doing that. Just standing there, singing, creepily.
Click to expand...

An Eskimo takes his snowmobile into the garage.

Mechanic: "I think you've blown a seal"

Eskimo: "No that's just frost on my moustache"
 
At where I work there is an hallway that connects the two buildings and sometimes the automatic doors do not always work while the doors are closing. I noticed the doors were closing up ahead of me and the intern had stopped and was confused. She stepped on the door pad and walked back and forth in front of the door, but it would not open.

Without stopping I walked to the door and yanked hard on the door handle and pulled it open.

She said " oh that how it works."

I had to refrain from telling her that the magic fairy dust do not always work.
 
Proprioceptive said:
One from my brother in law:

He was serving in Afghanistan when a brand new private arrived on base straight out of Basic. They liked to play this prank on new guys who didn't know the weapons they used on the Apaches... so when this 18 year old walks into the bay they start showing him one of the missiles (can't remember what kind) and there's a light that activates when the missile is armed... so one of the sergeants manually activates the light and yells to the rest of soldiers in the bay that the missile is armed and they all take cover. When my brother in law looked up after laughing his ass off, he saw the new private running down the bay with the missile in hand and he throws is out the back door... THROWS THE MISSILE. Needless to say, that prank was never pulled again.
Click to expand...
Arent missiles pretty heavy?
 
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