Chuck Norris is 69. - Post your favorite Chuck Norris tidbit.

[Analog]

Chuck Norris is suing book publisher Penguin over a comedy book that lists "mythical facts" about the tough guy. ("Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried"; "Chuck Norris can charge a cell phone by rubbing it against his beard.")

Clearly, "Walker, Texas Ranger" ain't laughing.

"Some of the 'facts' in the book are racist, lewd or portray Mr. Norris as engaged in illegal activities," the lawsuit says.

Norris is seeking monetary damages for trademark infringement, unjust enrichment and privacy rights.

Guess we've all learned one fact that's definitely true: Chuck Norris' lawyers will sue.

http://www.cleveland.com/peopl...e_singer_traveler.html

 

[spidey07]

Chuck Norris doesn't use the courts for punishment or payment, he uses his fists.

 

[AstroManLuca]

God, people still think these are funny? Most were stolen from SNL's "Bill Brasky" sketch over ten years ago.

 

[actuarial]

Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse. We now know this species as the giraffe.

 

[JohnCU]

Originally posted by: actuarial
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse. We now know this species as the giraffe.

:laugh:

i had no idea he was 69, damn he's old

 

[AreaCode707]

From the radio the other day: "When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck'ed."

Wins as the lamest, I think.

 

[silverpig]

When Chuck Norris sits around the house, he sits AROUND the house.

Er, wait...

 

[actuarial]

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, as hunting implies a possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

 

[PingSpike]

Originally posted by: actuarial
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse. We now know this species as the giraffe.

😀 Pretty good, I hadn't heard that one.

 

[dainthomas]

Originally posted by: JohnCU

Originally posted by: actuarial
Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse. We now know this species as the giraffe.

:laugh:

i had no idea he was 69, damn he's old

Chuck Norris isn't 69.

69 is Chuck Norris.

 

[actuarial]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Father.

 

[Analog]

Diamonds are not, despite popular belief, carbon. They are, in fact, Chuck Norris fecal matter. This was proven a recently, when scientific analysis revealed what appeared to be Jean-Claude Van Damme bone fragments inside the Hope Diamond.

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

 

[actuarial]

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe

 

[Demon-Xanth]

Originally posted by: actuarial
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his Father.

Chuck Norris didn't lose his virginity. He killed it.

 

[child of wonder]

http://www.fucknorrisfacts.com/

 

[Freshgeardude]

Chuck norris has more friends on myspace than tom

 

[AstroManLuca]

Originally posted by: AstroManLuca
God, people still think these are funny? Most were stolen from SNL's "Bill Brasky" sketch over ten years ago.

Damn. I guess the rest of this thread answered my question.

 

[finite automaton]

Some of them are amusing, the bulk of them are not.

 

[adairusmc]

Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

 

[anxi80]

if you spell "chuck norris" in scrabble, you win. forever.

 

[CRXican]

lmao at the "quotes"

 

[CRXican]

Behind Chuck Norris' beard is another fist.

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.

 

[xSauronx]

Originally posted by: adairusmc
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

:laugh:

 

[Baked]

Chuck Norris doesn't lose, because be killed Bruce Lee.


----
:|
AnandTech Moderator Evadman

 

[Red Squirrel]

I made a boss called Chuck Norris on my game server. When I put it into production, everyone logged in already dead and their corpse had decayed.