Christmas Rant

[GodlessAstronomer]

If your big complaint is that you're getting gifts that you don't have room for then I doubt your year has been particularly bad, comparatively.

 

[jagec]

Originally posted by: manlymatt83
Something shitty to my mom? She's the one that did something shitty to me - I explicitly told her not to do something, asked nicely, and she did it anyway - WASTING money and time.

So you're saying I should take all of these clothes she just spent hundreds of dollars on and donate them to good will? I think that would be shitty.

EDIT: Donating to good will would not be shitty - but taking all of the clothes she just bought me would

I give up. You're an idiot, and an infant as well.

I agree with you...your mom clearly shouldn't give you so much stuff, as now you're spoiled and self-absorbed.

 

[theblackbox]

i think a lot of people have had a lot rougher of a year.
some people don't have parents to spend christmas with, and some people only wish they could get clothes for christmas.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: theblackbox
i think a lot of people have had a lot rougher of a year.
some people don't have parents to spend christmas with, and some people only wish they could get clothes for christmas.

I didn't share why I had a rough year, but it included the death of someone very close to me. Perhaps it isn't a big deal, but relative to me it is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Ever.

I'm not trying to say I'm spoiled. I'm not spoiled. I'm self-sufficient, and I work hard for my own money, and I don't like when other people buy me things. I appreciate my mother's thought, but this rant isn't about her buying me gifts, its about buying me clothes when I told her I had enough.

Last year she bought me clothes. The year before that clothes. I have clothes sitting in laundry baskets with price tags on them still from 3 years ago. Yes, I dress like a slob - I usually wear the same 5 shirts or so (I wash them of course) in a round robin rotation. It's who I am. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I love my mother to death. This rant isn't about how fortunate/unfortunate I am. It's about the fact that she feels like, no matter how many times I tell her I don't need clothes and enjoy the way I dress, she feels that she needs to dress me differently.

Quit putting words into my mouth people, and quit assuming.

 

[Born2bwire]

Originally posted by: jagec

Originally posted by: manlymatt83
Something shitty to my mom? She's the one that did something shitty to me - I explicitly told her not to do something, asked nicely, and she did it anyway - WASTING money and time.

So you're saying I should take all of these clothes she just spent hundreds of dollars on and donate them to good will? I think that would be shitty.

EDIT: Donating to good will would not be shitty - but taking all of the clothes she just bought me would

I give up. You're an idiot, and an infant as well.

I agree with you...your mom clearly shouldn't give you so much stuff, as now you're spoiled and self-absorbed.

And to think, he would abstain from going to future Christmases over something this stupid.

Who the hell tells someone to their face to take back their gift or they will give it away?

 

[Regs]

I hold a lot of "content" for my family. My mother always wants to me to feel sorry for her and her choices in life. She is filled with spite and hate. She puts me in a bad mood and does not give two shits if she hurts some ones feelings.

My father was never there for me though now ofcourse he regrets it. My aunt is a raging alcoholic and she married a bigot husband. I do not hate or I do not hold malice for anybody in my family, but I only wish they learned to face their damn problems and realize that they're the only ones that can help themselves.

 

[kranky]

I understand how you feel. It's an awkward situation. People want to give you gifts out of the goodness of their hearts and to show they love you, but all it does is create more stuff that you don't want.

I suggest you tell your parents long before next Christmas that you very much appreciate all they have done for you and the things they have given you, but for this Christmas you would want more than anything for them to make a donation to __________ on your behalf. Explain to them that that is the kind of gift that would be very meaningful to you and you would appreciate greatly. Don't even bring up the fact you don't have room for any more stuff because it's going to make it sound like the donation idea is just a way to divert the money they would use for your gifts into a black hole.

You have to get them to understand that for you, that donation would be exactly what you would want because you believe in the work the organization is doing and you want to support it, and for them to donate on your behalf would be the perfect gift for you.

I am in the same position as you - not wanting any more stuff. This year for our family gift exchange I insisted that for my gift I would like to see a donation to our local food bank and everyone accepted that.

 

[theblackbox]

Originally posted by: manlymatt83

Originally posted by: theblackbox
i think a lot of people have had a lot rougher of a year.
some people don't have parents to spend christmas with, and some people only wish they could get clothes for christmas.

I didn't share why I had a rough year, but it included the death of someone very close to me. Perhaps it isn't a big deal, but relative to me it is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. Ever.

I'm not trying to say I'm spoiled. I'm not spoiled. I'm self-sufficient, and I work hard for my own money, and I don't like when other people buy me things. I appreciate my mother's thought, but this rant isn't about her buying me gifts, its about buying me clothes when I told her I had enough.

Last year she bought me clothes. The year before that clothes. I have clothes sitting in laundry baskets with price tags on them still from 3 years ago. Yes, I dress like a slob - I usually wear the same 5 shirts or so (I wash them of course) in a round robin rotation. It's who I am. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I love my mother to death. This rant isn't about how fortunate/unfortunate I am. It's about the fact that she feels like, no matter how many times I tell her I don't need clothes and enjoy the way I dress, she feels that she needs to dress me differently.

Quit putting words into my mouth people, and quit assuming.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: Regs
I hold a lot of "content" for my family. My mother always wants to me to feel sorry for her and her choices in life. She is filled with spite and hate. She puts me in a bad mood and does not give two shits if she hurts some ones feelings.

My father was never there for me though now ofcourse he regrets it. My aunt is a raging alcoholic and she married a bigot husband. I do not hate or I do not hold malice for anybody in my family, but I only wish they learned to face their damn problems and realize that they're the only ones that can help themselves.

Perhaps I overreacted, but it isn't the fact that she bought me clothes. Its the fact that she bought me clothes for the THIRD year in a row when she KNOWS I have no room for them. I have explicitly said over and over again, as recent as 2 months ago, that I enjoy the way I dress and to please not buy me clothes again for Christmas. I also explicitly stated that I would prefer her to either donate money to Make A Wish Foundation as my present, or to just give me one gift - something special - instead of buying me 20 pieces of clothing that fill up my car like every other christmas. My socks are fine. I don't need more. Yet I got more. To replace the ones I got last year. Mom, no matter how many clothes you buy me, I won't change how I dress.

My mother has diabetes, high blood pressure, and very large obesity. She cares how I dress because I don't "fit the norm", so she buys me clothes to make me look nice. If she wanted to give me a good christmas present, it would be to go to the gym and lose the weight so she'll be around longer. I love her a lot, and I would kill to see her lose 50 or a 100 pounds so that she'll still be around long after her grand kids are born. But she can't go to the gym - she always says she doesn't want people staring at her. I tell her they are there for the same reason she would be, but to each his own.

 

[manlymatt83]

Originally posted by: kranky
I understand how you feel. It's an awkward situation. People want to give you gifts out of the goodness of their hearts and to show they love you, but all it does is create more stuff that you don't want.

I suggest you tell your parents long before next Christmas that you very much appreciate all they have done for you and the things they have given you, but for this Christmas you would want more than anything for them to make a donation to __________ on your behalf. Explain to them that that is the kind of gift that would be very meaningful to you and you would appreciate greatly. Don't even bring up the fact you don't have room for any more stuff because it's going to make it sound like the donation idea is just a way to divert the money they would use for your gifts into a black hole.

You have to get them to understand that for you, that donation would be exactly what you would want because you believe in the work the organization is doing and you want to support it, and for them to donate on your behalf would be the perfect gift for you.

I am in the same position as you - not wanting any more stuff. This year for our family gift exchange I insisted that for my gift I would like to see a donation to our local food bank and everyone accepted that.

Funny you post this now. I just posted about it in my previous reply.

 

[MmmSkyscraper]

0/10

 

[IHateMyJob2004]

It's funny. To get you what you really want would require a female (a mom in your case) to not go shopping. Blasphemy!

Having kids, all I really want is for people to make my kids happy because that will make me smile.

 

[evident]

0/10

 

[blinblue]

Something that might work is request something relatively small and simple and that you actually want, and then suggest that they donate the money they would have spent on clothes to you to some sort of charity.
There are a variety of places that let you donate money towards things like animals (goats, chickens, etc) or books for school to people in developing countries so they can start farms and get and education and things like that. Its more useful then you personally receiving clothes, and its more personal than simply donating money to some random organization (in that it goes to somewhere specific). Just a thought.

 

[EMPshockwave82]

Originally posted by: MagnusTheBrewer
Ok Matt, we get it, it's all about you. Next!

You'd think after several people telling him that it's about the joy of seeing someone else open a GIFT and not if they need or want something he would get it.


Matt: Your mother wanted to see you smile when you opened your GIFTS. She didn't expect anything in return. She probably knows that you didn't want anything but she wanted to see you open a PRESENT and expected you would get joy from it. So to thank her for her kindness you told her that she should take the presents back or you would give them to goodwill. Not only did you tell her that but you told her that on the day that she expected to see you smile after you opened those gifts.


You should call your mother first thing in the morning and tell her that you are sorry for upsetting her yesterday and that you can use some of the clothes she bought you. You may be a simple person that doesnt need material things but that doesn't mean you can't appreciate someone elses thoughts and feelings. Please call your mother and say you are sorry.

EDIT:

I should know better than this by now but I thought I was close to the bottom and there was much more content to read.

If your rant is that she bought you clothes when you told her to not buy you clothes then you should edit your OP a little. The thing that is making people like myself call you a self obsorbed prick is that the OP makes it sound like you are complaining that you got presents.

I'm not going to withdrawl my statement that you should call your mother and say you are sorry. It seems to me that there is a communication problem though. You are telling her that you don't need something and she buys it anyways is a pretty big clue. After you say you are sorry you should ask her why she thinks you need new clothes. After her explanation then maybe you should kindly explain once again that buying you new clothes will not change what you wear and that generally those types of gifts do not excite you. This may stop the clothes buying behavior. Then again, maybe not. Either way you may understand more about your mother.

 

[TestedAcorn]

This thread is going way too far. Everyone is just delving into his personal life and attacking him. Wtf people? Ok so the guy doesn't like receiving gifts. Move along. The end.

 

[moshquerade]

Originally posted by: manlymatt83
I just need to rant.

I have a really hard time spending time with my family. I love them dearly, but Christmas is always hard. Especially this Christmas.

First, I don't like "things". I really hate junk. And all while I was growing up, my parents felt they always needed to buy me something new - and they would buy me junk. Clothes, clothes, clothes, and more clothes. Now, this isn't lack of appreciation. This is the fact that I only have a really small room where I live and I don't even have enough room for the clothes that I do have, and I usually go through them monthly and donate a few pieces I don't wear often to good will. I'm just that kind of person that likes owning only 10 shirts or so and sticking to those 10 shirts.

This Christmas, my mother asked me what I would like, and I politely responded "Nothing, thanks though! Just to spend time with you guys." I emphasized that I did NOT want anything at all - I don't have room for anything. But I EMPHASIZED TO HER verbally that I did not want clothes. Especially not clothes. Anything but clothes.

Today, we open presents, and all I have is boxes and boxes of clothes. I politely thanked my mother but let her know I would appreciate it if she either took the clothes back, or I would gladly donate them to goodwill. She got mad at me and explained that I didn't appreciate things.

I do. I really do. I love my parents a lot. I just hate looking forward to Christmas because I know that I'm going to get more and more boxes of clothes and it's just going to be a hassle to do anything with them.

/rant

Merry Christmas all. Other than that, its a joyous holiday. I had a really rough year. A very very rough year. Some of you know what happened, but unlike the past, I kept it to myself as best I could. Thanks to all that supported me in May with your thoughts and comments. THAT I am truly thankful for.

On to 2009!

i would've just said thank you for the gifts, and waited for another day down the road to hint *again* that you don't like getting clothes as a gift. they may never take the hint for some reason but i still wouldn't act ungrateful about the gift after opening it on Christmas day. it still would hurt them. not worth doing that.

 

[Alone]

My grandparents got me these ugly pants and atrocious shirt, but as far as they're concerned, they're the best pieces of clothing I now own.

Sure, I'll never wear them. Ever. But fuck if I'm going to tell them that. It's not about me.

 

[Madwand1]

Originally posted by: manlymatt83
I love my parents a lot. I just hate looking forward to Christmas because I know that I'm going to get more and more boxes of clothes and it's just going to be a hassle to do anything with them.

It's very cool to live the life that you want to, to not have the things that you don't want, and to dress as you want. Really, it's cool. But it seems to me that your mother or others want to see you better-dressed, which is why clothing has become a sensitive issue. Can you consider some sort of compromise? Dressing a bit better from their perspective from time to time and especially when they see you to make them happy? You don't have to change yourself, but you could change how you appear to them without really changing yourself. In one way or another, we all dress in a way to affect how we appear to others. More than a few people would be walking around naked if they could be entirely inconsiderate of that. Changing how you dress when you see them would in this view be an act of consideration, not a change or compromise of identity.

So I suggest accepting some of the clothing, but giving back or donating the rest that you don't want.

Cheers.

 

[OurasBob]

Stick to your principles OP.

You've obviously chosen a life of simplicity, and I salute you.

Your mother has chosen a life where things are important, not people. Otherwise she would have respected your wishes.

I've chosen a similar life, and I face the same thing every Christmas. I don't collect "things", but the things I do chose to own, I want them to be nice things that will serve me well for a lifetime.

That usually means they are more expensive in the short run, but compared to a lifetime of replacing cheap "things", it's a wise investment.

So every Christmas when people are asking me what I want, I chose something on my list of nice things that I don't yet have, and is way out of the price range of any single relative.

When I tell them that is what I want for Christmas, and how much it costs it creates an uncomfortable silence, since I'm a broke ass college student from a broke ass family.

I break it by assuring them that I know times are hard, and I don't expect them to buy it for me, but I would appreciate it if they would just give me the money that they had planned to spend on me with a well written Christmas card expressing their love, and that I will pool it with everyone else doing the same to get what I want for Christmas.

When I get the "but won't you miss opening a bunch of presents on Christmas day?" I respond with "the only thing I would miss is if I couldn't visit and eat Christmas dinner with my family, and see how big all the kids are getting. "

I hope this helps you.

Better luck next year.