Christian and Athiest in the same house!

[DurocShark]

As some of you may know, I'm an athiest and my wife is Christian. We've always respected each others beliefs, and agreed to let the kids decide for themselves their own beliefs.

The past few years my 14 year old son has been leaning towards athiesm. I don't encourage it, but will answer questions as fairly as possible.

My 2.5 year old daughter has been going to church with my wife nearly every day (my wife does child care at her church for 2-3 hours per day). So my daughter's being thoroughly indoctrinated. I don't complain. She'll find her own way when she's old enough.

Well, lately my wife has been trying to get our son to go to church and participate in the teen ministry's events. Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

So last night my wife started yelling at me about his athiesm and how it's my fault. WTF? I asked, "How is that different than our daughter coming home singing Christian songs and you hanging Christian propaganda all over the house? Do you see any Darwin posters anywhere? Do you hear me quoting from athiest writings? YOU'RE the one pushing your beliefs on the kids."

It quickly became one of those times where she starts yelling and screaming and I sit there letting her vent before replying, then listening to more.

Anybody dealt with this before? Any suggestions?

CLIFFS:
I'm athiest, wife's Christian.
One child is becoming athiest and expressing it.
Wife blames me.

UPDATE:
Since there are so many replies, I'm going to post in here so they don't get buried.

My son has NEVER heard me speak a mean word about religion. I've been very careful about that. As I said, I want him to make his own choices. He went to church every week until he was 12 or so when he started trying to get out of it. I refused to pressure him about it, though my wife continued to do so. So he *has* experienced it. Even went on a campout with the church once.

Yes, he was being disrespectful. That has been dealt with. The reason I had to leave the room was because I didn't want to encourage that behaviour by laughing. I still think it's a great line, but it was inappropriate in context. That is all.

Those of you calling me names can kiss off. Just because I don't share your beliefs doesn't mean I'm any less of a father.

Anybody know where I can get some Darwin posters?

ANOTHER UPDATE:
I went ahead and posted this on a religous board. If anybody wants to see the totally different (right) path the post is taking: http://www.christiandiscussionforums.org/v/showthread.php?t=6633

Yes, that's CARM's board. I used to work with Matt in the 90's, haven't talked to him in a while, but thought I'd see what happened over there.

 

[hans030390]

I'm thinking your son could have been a bit more respectful. I'm christian, and I respect other's beliefs, and I dont think she should be pushing the kids to believe anything. I dont think you should try putting anything on them either, which it sounds like you haven't.

 

[purbeast0]

well i guess technically it is your fault. he was either going to go christian or atheist. just something you all have to deal with. you knew this would come into play when you had kids, so just work through it.

 

[otispunkmeyer]

well never try to reason with the woman, she is always right even if shes wrong. just tell him to do what his mom says. she'll soon stop takin him when he shows her up at church by doing something embarrassing.

 

[JackBurton]

Dude, it's Atheist. Let's at least get that right before we move on to solving the mysteries of the universe.

 

[purbeast0]

also i agree with hans. it does sound pretty disrespectful. i personally am christian too and like hans, i don't push my beliefs on anyone.

from my experience, its typically people who do not really believe in any type of god who are the ones strongly forcing their opinions and beliefs on people, not the other way around. except in college, my freshman year, i had this roomate who was super christian and tried to get me to go to bible meetings and stuff. it really pissed me off how strong he pushed it.

 

[DurocShark]

Originally posted by: JackBurton
Dude, it's Atheist.

Bleh. Work's been killing my brain. Just putting a coherent thought together is an accomplishment lately.

 

[DurocShark]

Originally posted by: purbeast0
also i agree with hans. it does sound pretty disrespectful. i personally am christian too and like hans, i don't push my beliefs on anyone.

from my experience, its typically people who do not really believe in any type of god who are the ones strongly forcing their opinions and beliefs on people, not the other way around. except in college, my freshman year, i had this roomate who was super christian and tried to get me to go to bible meetings and stuff. it really pissed me off how strong he pushed it.

Where are the atheists pushing pamphlets in your hands at the mall? Where are the atheist televangelists?

 

[JackBurton]

Originally posted by: DurocShark

Originally posted by: JackBurton
Dude, it's Atheist.

Bleh. Work's been killing my brain. Just putting a coherent thought together is an accomplishment lately.

And don't worry about your situation, you're right.

 

[GTaudiophile]

Sorry to say, but decisions about religion should be made BEFORE marriage. Otherwise, I think you're setting yourself up for disaster.

 

[purbeast0]

Originally posted by: DurocShark

Originally posted by: purbeast0
also i agree with hans. it does sound pretty disrespectful. i personally am christian too and like hans, i don't push my beliefs on anyone.

from my experience, its typically people who do not really believe in any type of god who are the ones strongly forcing their opinions and beliefs on people, not the other way around. except in college, my freshman year, i had this roomate who was super christian and tried to get me to go to bible meetings and stuff. it really pissed me off how strong he pushed it.

Where are the atheists pushing pamphlets in your hands at the mall? Where are the atheist televangelists?

when did i say that "from my experience" included atheists pushing pamphlets in my hands at the mall?

i love how everyone on ATOT jumps to conclusions and makes all these assumptions.

 

[y2kc]

yeah, my son and i had to leave eventually.

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

You sound like a real jerk. Kids don't come up with stuff like that on their own and certainly wouldn't be so disrespectful to his mother unless he was following your example. Congrats.

 

[Czar]

you are looking at this the wrong way

the boy is 14 year old
his mother is trying to make him do something he doesnt want to do

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: purbeast0

Originally posted by: DurocShark

Originally posted by: purbeast0
also i agree with hans. it does sound pretty disrespectful. i personally am christian too and like hans, i don't push my beliefs on anyone.

from my experience, its typically people who do not really believe in any type of god who are the ones strongly forcing their opinions and beliefs on people, not the other way around. except in college, my freshman year, i had this roomate who was super christian and tried to get me to go to bible meetings and stuff. it really pissed me off how strong he pushed it.

Where are the atheists pushing pamphlets in your hands at the mall? Where are the atheist televangelists?

when did i say that "from my experience" included atheists pushing pamphlets in my hands at the mall?

i love how everyone on ATOT jumps to conclusions and makes all these assumptions.

thankfully we dont get many of "the peddlers" here, a few jehova's witnesses but we just say no thanks.

 

[DaShen]

Good luck with that

I don't know what to say because I am Christian, but I wouldn't want to marry someone non-Christian for that very reason.

I find it annoying when my parents try to push religion and Christianity on me, even though I am Christian, it is a choice that I reaffirmed and made on my own while growing up, so I don't enjoy my mom trying to push her idealogues on me either (even though for the most part we agree). Lately she has been playing "Christian" hymns at home and in the car and everywhere, and singing with them whenever I am around. It is very frustrating because she doesn't realize that that just hurts my own relationship by her trying to manipulate things.

The best thing you can do is to realize that in her mind, you and your son are in desperate need of G-d. In your mind, it doesn't matter either way so it doesn't hurt you to see your wife or daughter worshipping, but it hurts her to see you and your son not. So in essense she is doing it out of love, no matter how annoying it is. I know my mother is doing it for the same reason, but I protest it and tell her, or I just listen to something else on my headphones until she quits, because she needs to stop trying to manipulate situations her way, like every other female I know out there, and let me live my life. :roll:

The best advice I have to give you is just let it pass. She won't change her mind on the situation, but explain to her in a calm way that you understand she is doing it out of her belief that you and your son are "lost", but you don't agree. Tell her that maybe the best thing she can do is just pray for you and your son, and try not to preach, because especially with guys, that will more than likely have the reverse affect.

 

[BriGy86]

your son was disrespectful, there was no reason he had to bad mouth your wife's religion like that, have a talk with him and let him know that if he isn't going to agree with something at least try to be respectful about it

 

[Czar]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

You sound like a real jerk. Kids don't come up with stuff like that on their own and certainly wouldn't be so disrespectful to his mother unless he was following your example. Congrats.

hello mr jerk, at 14 normal kids dont have only one influance (parents) on their lives

 

[otispunkmeyer]

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

You sound like a real jerk. Kids don't come up with stuff like that on their own and certainly wouldn't be so disrespectful to his mother unless he was following your example. Congrats.

he could if he was 14 and has internet access.....all he has to do is hit up ATOT.

at 14 your old enough to make things like that up, old enough to have your own views on things, generally those views are mostly wrong (because of lack of real world experience) but they can form them all the same.

like ive said, just tell him to do what his mother says. she will soon stop taking him when she gets shown up in front of all the other mothers coz hes punched the bishop in the face

 

[HeroOfPellinor]

Originally posted by: Czar
you are looking at this the wrong way

the boy is 14 year old
his mother is trying to make him do something he doesnt want to do

Idiot. What if the kid doesn't want to go to school? Don't make him do something he doesn't want to? :roll:

 

[maziwanka]

you should've seen this coming (and im sure you did)...

arguing with religious people (esp. women) is asking for trouble

 

[erikistired]

...

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: DurocShark
As some of you may know, I'm an athiest and my wife is Christian. We've always respected each others beliefs, and agreed to let the kids decide for themselves their own beliefs.

The past few years my 14 year old son has been leaning towards athiesm. I don't encourage it, but will answer questions as fairly as possible.

My 2.5 year old daughter has been going to church with my wife nearly every day (my wife does child care at her church for 2-3 hours per day). So my daughter's being thoroughly indoctrinated. I don't complain. She'll find her own way when she's old enough.

Well, lately my wife has been trying to get our son to go to church and participate in the teen ministry's events. Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

So last night my wife started yelling at me about his athiesm and how it's my fault. WTF? I asked, "How is that different than our daughter coming home singing Christian songs and you hanging Christian propaganda all over the house? Do you see any Darwin posters anywhere? Do you hear me quoting from athiest writings? YOU'RE the one pushing your beliefs on the kids."

It quickly became one of those times where she starts yelling and screaming and I sit there letting her vent before replying, then listening to more.

Anybody dealt with this before? Any suggestions?

CLIFFS:
I'm athiest, wife's Christian.
One child is becoming athiest and expressing it.
Wife blames me.

your son needs to respect his mother. if he doesn't want to go to church, teach him how to respectfully address his mother, and politely explain his views.

also, as pointed out before, the e comes before the i in atheism and atheist (as in the opposite of theism and theist)

 

[erikistired]

...

 

[GeneValgene]

Originally posted by: otispunkmeyer

Originally posted by: HeroOfPellinor

Originally posted by: DurocShark
Yesterday he finally said, "Why would I want to go listen to a bunch of people worshipping their fantasies?" I had to leave the room. That was a great line! But I didn't want to make my wife look like a fool by laughing.

You sound like a real jerk. Kids don't come up with stuff like that on their own and certainly wouldn't be so disrespectful to his mother unless he was following your example. Congrats.

he could if he was 14 and has internet access.....all he has to do is hit up ATOT.

hahaha QFT