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Chris Rock's monologue from MTV VMA's....
- Thread starter TheNinja
- Start date
GaminFreak2002
Senior member
50 cent has more shots to his face then Jenna Jamieson
HAHAHA
HAHAHA
MazerRackham
Diamond Member
I love Chris Rock... !! 🙂 His HBO shows contain some of the funniest stuff I've ever heard or seen.
And I also agree with the "Good Charlotte = crap band" stuff. I mean, who are those guys? I think they absolutely stink. And I think calling that band punk is one of the worst insults to punk music EVER. I've never seen or heard of such big pansies as those guys...
And I also agree with the "Good Charlotte = crap band" stuff. I mean, who are those guys? I think they absolutely stink. And I think calling that band punk is one of the worst insults to punk music EVER. I've never seen or heard of such big pansies as those guys...
i went to college down in MD and all i would ever hear is "i went to school with _______ from good charlotte." then, when id ask "who?" everyone would act like i just crapped my pants. they were horrified and felt i should suffer some great indignity. so, we'd slap on a CD.
yes, its understandable that you know this band, they should have played in your backyard on your 16th birthday as a favor to your older brother. just terrible.
MainFramed
Diamond Member
ROFL that was a great one!
ineedacomputer
Member
chris rock really does ROCK! everything he does is funny
i downloaded a joke of kazaa where he made jokes of FOX AND NBC.anybody know what tv show that joke originated from
i downloaded a joke of kazaa where he made jokes of FOX AND NBC.anybody know what tv show that joke originated from
Corporate Thug
Lifer
try to punk DMX: hey you got punked. HEY, you got stabbed
yellowperil
Diamond Member
He was on Letterman the other night. He made a crack at Gigli - something like 'They didn't want to make money with Gigli. You know what would have worked? Take Ben Affleck out of the movie, leave J.Lo and her ass in, and call it 'Jiggly.' There'd be lines outside the theater'
Some of these made me laugh out loud, so I thought some of you might enjoy them, too.
On MTV's shows
"Everytime I see ?Say What Karaoke.? I say 'Say what?s on the other channel.'"
On 'Making the Band' with Puff Daddy
"You get to see Puff Daddy be a mentor to the children. Who better than Puff Daddy to show the kids wrong from wronger?"
On 'Punk'd'
"I want to see them try to punk DMX. ?DMX, you?ve been punked.? ?Oh yeah, you?ve been stabbed.?"
On Ashton Kutcher
"My man?s a pimp. He?ll take your girlfriend and your mother. I don?t even think he?s in love with Demi Moore. He?s just trying to punk Bruce Willis."
On Seeing Janet Jackson with Jermaine Dupree
"Damn, I had a shot. It?s like finding out about a sale a day too late."
On the deaths of overweight singers
"I don?t know where Ruben (Studdard) is, but I hope he?s eating a salad right now."
On Paula Abdul judging a singing contest
"It?s like getting Christopher Reeves to judge a dance contest."
On 50 Cent
"He took more shots to the face then Jenna Jameson."
On seating arrangements
"You have the Olsen twins over there, so then you got to put R. Kelly way up there."
On Good Charlotte
"Good Charlotte? More like a mediocre Green Day."
On LeBron James and Ashanti
"He?s trying not to be the next Kobe and she?s trying not to be the next victim."
On Eminem
"Our next presenter saves a lot of money on Mother?s Day."
On Lil Jon
"Doesn?t Lil Jon look a lot like a black Cousin It."
On P. Diddy
"Our next presenter is being sued by more people that the Catholic Church."
On the 'Queer Eye' guys
"Our next five presenters make a living out of dressing up the guys who beat them up in high school. Give it up for the gay Beatles."
After 50 Cent's performance
"Today is the anniversary of Martin Luther King?s 'I Have a Dream? speech ?isn?t it nice to see that his dream has finally come true?"
After Coldplay's performance
"I hope you all didn?t slit your wrists to that one."
On the Williams sisters
"Our next two presenters have beaten the crap out of more white girls than Rick James."
On the show 'Cribs'
"It?s just celebrities showing off their crap. They should change the name to Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah."
On Ben Stiller & Drew Barrymore
"These two are Hollywood royalty, which means they?re inbred and out of touch with the common man."
On MTV's shows
"Everytime I see ?Say What Karaoke.? I say 'Say what?s on the other channel.'"
On 'Making the Band' with Puff Daddy
"You get to see Puff Daddy be a mentor to the children. Who better than Puff Daddy to show the kids wrong from wronger?"
On 'Punk'd'
"I want to see them try to punk DMX. ?DMX, you?ve been punked.? ?Oh yeah, you?ve been stabbed.?"
On Ashton Kutcher
"My man?s a pimp. He?ll take your girlfriend and your mother. I don?t even think he?s in love with Demi Moore. He?s just trying to punk Bruce Willis."
On Seeing Janet Jackson with Jermaine Dupree
"Damn, I had a shot. It?s like finding out about a sale a day too late."
On the deaths of overweight singers
"I don?t know where Ruben (Studdard) is, but I hope he?s eating a salad right now."
On Paula Abdul judging a singing contest
"It?s like getting Christopher Reeves to judge a dance contest."
On 50 Cent
"He took more shots to the face then Jenna Jameson."
On seating arrangements
"You have the Olsen twins over there, so then you got to put R. Kelly way up there."
On Good Charlotte
"Good Charlotte? More like a mediocre Green Day."
On LeBron James and Ashanti
"He?s trying not to be the next Kobe and she?s trying not to be the next victim."
On Eminem
"Our next presenter saves a lot of money on Mother?s Day."
On Lil Jon
"Doesn?t Lil Jon look a lot like a black Cousin It."
On P. Diddy
"Our next presenter is being sued by more people that the Catholic Church."
On the 'Queer Eye' guys
"Our next five presenters make a living out of dressing up the guys who beat them up in high school. Give it up for the gay Beatles."
After 50 Cent's performance
"Today is the anniversary of Martin Luther King?s 'I Have a Dream? speech ?isn?t it nice to see that his dream has finally come true?"
After Coldplay's performance
"I hope you all didn?t slit your wrists to that one."
On the Williams sisters
"Our next two presenters have beaten the crap out of more white girls than Rick James."
On the show 'Cribs'
"It?s just celebrities showing off their crap. They should change the name to Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah."
On Ben Stiller & Drew Barrymore
"These two are Hollywood royalty, which means they?re inbred and out of touch with the common man."
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