Children of divorce....

[Gravity]

I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children.
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's.
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child.
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for.
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex.
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy.
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents.

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

 

[shimsham]

what are the suspected reasons? is it from the divorce itself, or the behavior of the parents during the divorce? or does the book differntiate between the two, if a difference even exists in any meaningful way?

 

[db]

Marriage is all about how you DEAL WITH YOUR DIFFERANCES.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: shimsham
what are the suspected reasons? is it from the divorce itself, or the behavior of the parents during the divorce? or does the book differntiate between the two, if a difference even exists in any meaningful way?

Divorce to children is sudden and unexpected. They don't associate dysfunction in their family with the end of the union. It's the blunt force of the event, not the fighting in between or after.

 

[mugs]

Strange, my fiancee's parents were divorced and absolutely none of that applies to her... but her parents didn't get divorced until she was 16 I think.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: db
A successful marriage is all about how you DEAL WITH YOUR DIFFERANCES.

Well said. 50% or so can't get it right. Your suggestion?

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: mugs
Strange, my fiancee's parents were divorced and absolutely none of that applies to her... but her parents didn't get divorced until she was 16 I think.

Divorce is hardest on the young, pre-adolescent. Your friend may not be as affected.

 

[db]

Children always think it's their fault.
They always wish the parents will get back together.
And unfortunately, some parents put the child in the middle in order to manipulate the other spouse. This hurts the child--for life.

 

[flxnimprtmscl]

Originally posted by: db
Marriage is all about how you DEAL WITH YOUR DIFFERANCES.

Thank you Capitan Obvious.


Oh, and pie is good.

Also, differances?

 

[shimsham]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: shimsham
what are the suspected reasons? is it from the divorce itself, or the behavior of the parents during the divorce? or does the book differntiate between the two, if a difference even exists in any meaningful way?

Divorce to children is sudden and unexpected. They don't associate dysfunction in their family with the end of the union. It's the blunt force of the event, not the fighting in between or after.

makes sense. your whole view of the world comes crashing down and busting up, thats gonna fvck you up, somewhat. how much does the age of the children at the time of the divorce factor? id assume the older the child, the less of an impact it would have. im probably wrong about that tho. may be just the opposite.

 

[Rogue]

Out of my household, where all the children (myself included) went through two divorces, only my step sister shows any of these symptoms. The rest of us (the males) are all even keeled, hard working, family loving men.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children. bullsh!t
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's. bullsh!t
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child. bullsh!t
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for. bullsh!t
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex. bullsh!t
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy. bullsh!t
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents. bullsh!t

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

Wow, you actually read that? And believed it? I weep for our future...

Edit-You should read a little book I like called 'Damned Lies and Statistics' by Joel Best. It's a sobering look at how statistics and numbers are used by the media, politicians and activists to influence our decisions, pass laws and change the way our society functions.

I think you'd be better off reading that than the book you just read-although, I suspect they both have the same goal...I just happen to agree more with the latter rather than the former.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: shimsham

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: shimsham
what are the suspected reasons? is it from the divorce itself, or the behavior of the parents during the divorce? or does the book differntiate between the two, if a difference even exists in any meaningful way?

Divorce to children is sudden and unexpected. They don't associate dysfunction in their family with the end of the union. It's the blunt force of the event, not the fighting in between or after.

makes sense. your whole view of the world comes crashing down and busting up, thats gonna fvck you up, somewhat. how much does the age of the children at the time of the divorce factor? id assume the older the child, the less of an impact it would have. im probably wrong about that tho. may be just the opposite.

You are right on the money. The older the child, the less the impact. Although, some kids that are in later teens or 20's hate their parents as a result. You think it might be easier when the kids are gone? They are alienated from their children even after they are gone. The kids still don't understand.

 

[mercanucaribe]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents.

:disgust:

 

[markgm]

A lot of that sounds like my family, and my parents are still happily married!

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: Rogue
Out of my household, where all the children (myself included) went through two divorces, only my step sister shows any of these symptoms. The rest of us (the males) are all even keeled, hard working, family loving men.

God Bless Rogue!!

I have sister divorced 3 times, a brother that never married (now 36) and a sister (30) divorced and only recently able to hold a job. The man that my mom married paid for HIS kids college, me and my siblings were left to fend for ourselves, another impact of divorce.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children. bullsh!t
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's. bullsh!t
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child. bullsh!t
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for. bullsh!t
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex. bullsh!t
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy. bullsh!t
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents. bullsh!t

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

Wow, you actually read that? And believed it? I weep for our future...

The study or research followed 2000 or so families and children for 25 years. That's pretty compelling.

 

[markgm]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children. bullsh!t
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's. bullsh!t
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child. bullsh!t
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for. bullsh!t
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex. bullsh!t
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy. bullsh!t
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents. bullsh!t

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

Wow, you actually read that? And believed it? I weep for our future...

The study or research followed 2000 or so families and children for 25 years. That's pretty compelling.

I guess the thing is while that might be true for families with divorced parents, it might be true for families without divorced parents. (At least the first few which don't say 'higher than...'

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children. bullsh!t
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's. bullsh!t
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child. bullsh!t
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for. bullsh!t
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex. bullsh!t
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy. bullsh!t
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents. bullsh!t

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

Wow, you actually read that? And believed it? I weep for our future...

The study or research followed 2000 or so families and children for 25 years. That's pretty compelling.

2000? BWAHAHAHA! That's what? A thousandth of one percent of the population of this country? Where were these families from? What was their background? There could have been thousands of other experiences that contributed to the results cited in this study.

 

[JulesMaximus]

You should read a little book I like called 'Damned Lies and Statistics' by Joel Best. It's a sobering look at how statistics and numbers are used by the media, politicians and activists to influence our decisions, pass laws and change the way our society functions.

I think you'd be better off reading that than the book you just read.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: markgm

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children. bullsh!t
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's. bullsh!t
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child. bullsh!t
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for. bullsh!t
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex. bullsh!t
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy. bullsh!t
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents. bullsh!t

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

Wow, you actually read that? And believed it? I weep for our future...

The study or research followed 2000 or so families and children for 25 years. That's pretty compelling.

I guess the thing is while that might be true for families with divorced parents, it might be true for families without divorced parents. (At least the first few which don't say 'higher than...'

They also studied what they called "intact" families, or families that didn't experience a divorce. The book compares and contrasts them over a 25 year period.

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
You should read a little book I like called 'Damned Lies and Statistics' by Joel Best. It's a sobering look at how statistics and numbers are used by the media, politicians and activists to influence our decisions, pass laws and change the way our society functions.

I think you'd be better off reading that than the book you just read.

Perhaps. Statistical sampling is a scientific practice.

 

[flyboy84]

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children.
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's.
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child.
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for.
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex.
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy.
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents.

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

The thing about 2/3...OK Thats a statistic, but the rest sounds like unfounded generalizations. Ok as theory...are those backed up in the book?

 

[Gravity]

Originally posted by: flyboy84

Originally posted by: Gravity
I read this book because I work with at risk children but also because I'm in a failing marriage. Marriages all around me are being destoyed, mine may be next.

So, after reading this book I wanted to report the following:

2/3 of children of divorce that marry choose to never have children.
Children of divorce marry much later, if at all, well into their 30's or 40's.
When a divorce occurs, children cease to experience life as a child.
Children of divorce will likely not have their college paid for.
Children of divorce are at substantiallyhigher risk for drug use, suicide and pre-marital sex.
Children of divorce associate being happy with impending doom so they work to not appear to be happy.
Children that grow up in intact but seriously dysfunctional families are better off than children of divorce, including families with violent parents.

Here's the BOOK I read on the subject. It's very sobering.

Just thought I'd lighten up your Friday/Saturday.

Discuss

The thing about 2/3...OK Thats a statistic, but the rest sounds like unfounded generalizations. Ok as theory...are those backed up in the book?

There are many consistencies in the storys the children tell, it's more compelling over a span of 25 years. The talk to the same kids over that time. It's a longitudinal study.

 

[JulesMaximus]

Originally posted by: Gravity

Originally posted by: JulesMaximus
You should read a little book I like called 'Damned Lies and Statistics' by Joel Best. It's a sobering look at how statistics and numbers are used by the media, politicians and activists to influence our decisions, pass laws and change the way our society functions.

I think you'd be better off reading that than the book you just read.

Perhaps. Statistical sampling is a scientific practice.

Yes, it is but you can't just throw numbers like that out there and not expect to be challenged on them. At least anyone with half a brain should be questioning them. I sure know I am.