Check out this 11 min. movie.

[Patrick Wolf]

It's called "Voice Inside", created by my cousin. It's his first professional independent work. I think the budget was <$2,000 and it took two days of shooting. Camera used was the Canon 7D if I remember correctly. I recorded the sound on location.

Also on youtube if above video doesn't work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gJ0kIlWlo4

Of course, the comments below contain spoilers.

 

[Texashiker]

$2,000 for what?

Very good video by the way.

 

[stargazr]

Bravo! I liked the scene where the door closed and the light gradually dwindles to a line and disappears.

 

[Fritzo]

Reminds me of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jR7m-4Vc3MU&feature=related

 

[AFurryReptile]

Very good video.

 

[Six]

Interesting story. The sound effects doesn't really blend naturally with the video. 😀 It's like you're watching from a distance, but your ears are right next to the events.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

That was very well done.

I liked the part where the pedophile got to keep his child.

Sad. but you know, 'real to life'.

 

[Rhoxed]

Very well done
Thanks for posting it.

 

[Lifted]

The cinematography was very nice, loved the style.

The story was a bit rough, and editing could be tighter. If you're going to make the film thought provoking, don't explain everything to the audience like we're 10 years old. Leave some things to the imagination. I'm mainly referring to the ring scene and the multiple shots back and forth with the kidnapper holding his neck and the broken bottles... yes, we get it.

The audio could also use some work as was previously mentioned.

Is this for a class, or being submitted to a festival, or... ?

 

[eits]

cinematography was great, acting was good enough, and the plot was fantastic. i couldn't tell what the short was about until the end. i thought it was a ghost story at first, then i thought the daughter was talking to her mom and they were both dead, and then the ending happened and it brought it all together.

very nice. thanks for sharing 🙂

 

[ThatsABigOne]

Great video. Very mysterious, and I enjoyed it.

 

[angminas]

Very good for a first try. Could be polished into a gem.

Some things that could use work:

I couldn't understand what the dad screamed in his room, and I assume that's where we learned what the traumatic event was. Also, I couldn't make any sense out of what he was watching on TV. I expect I'd get it on a second viewing, but that kinda goes against the point of an understated short film. Maybe I'm the only one who had trouble with this...I do have an auditory processing disorder.

Lighting in the girl's room. I couldn't tell it was her until the last time. I thought there might be another child.

Was the guy dead? If so, his arm probably wouldn't have stayed there. If not, the dad wouldn't have just ignored him. Better if he were slumped on his side, pinning his hands to the ground. That way he's obviously dead, you know why he's dead, but you don't have to show the wound.

I did not like the sudden noises when the girl turned to look at her friend. It's not a horror movie...people probably aren't wanting to be startled like that. I know I'm not.

The house was too neat for a drunken slob with no help. The dishwashing scene could have showed his turnaround much better. Maybe he tidies up the living room and finds something poignant, like a picture of his wife under a pizza box. Maybe he goes out into the garage for a bottle of cleaner, walks by a bunch of beer on a shelf, reaches for it absent-mindedly so he can put it in the fridge, catches himself, and walks back into the kitchen with his cleaner.

Some things I did like:

The stepping on the cigarette was scary without giving too much away. It also came at the right time.

The concept of the ending was neat.

Beautiful setting. I wish I had a yard like that.

The shot under the swing.

 

[Dr. Zaus]

I thought the "run for her" part took much too long to happen.

 

[Patrick Wolf]

$2,000 for what?

Very good video by the way.

He paid each member of the cast & crew $100 so that was $900. Sound recorder was $300 I think. Not sure about the boom mic & lighting (which was just one light but they aren't exactly cheap). No idea what he paid for the score or sound FX. $2,000 is just my estimation.

I liked the part where the pedophile got to keep his child.

Umm, that didn't happen.

The cinematography was very nice, loved the style.

The story was a bit rough, and editing could be tighter. If you're going to make the film thought provoking, don't explain everything to the audience like we're 10 years old. Leave some things to the imagination. I'm mainly referring to the ring scene and the multiple shots back and forth with the kidnapper holding his neck and the broken bottles... yes, we get it.

The audio could also use some work as was previously mentioned.

Is this for a class, or being submitted to a festival, or... ?

Thanks for the criticism. I think you make a good point. The close-up of the log trip happens too quick and should probably be cut if possible. Also the shot of the ring, rose, & beer seems unnecessary. Think it'd be better to just extend the crying. Though I'd guess he showed that since the movie is driven by vision & emotion rather than dialog so a few extra shots wouldn't really seem excessive.

It will be submitted to festival(s). He made it because it's what he loves to do. And will probably be used in a demo reel.

Interesting story. The sound effects doesn't really blend naturally with the video. 😀 It's like you're watching from a distance, but your ears are right next to the events.

Don't know what you're hearing. I'm listening on studio monitors and thought the audio was quite good. He uses the Logitech Z-2300 to edit with so that may explain any discrepancies. Though his station at work uses studio monitors which he may have checked the audio with. Not sure.

 

[Patrick Wolf]

I couldn't understand what the dad screamed in his room, and I assume that's where we learned what the traumatic event was. Also, I couldn't make any sense out of what he was watching on TV. I expect I'd get it on a second viewing, but that kinda goes against the point of an understated short film. Maybe I'm the only one who had trouble with this...I do have an auditory processing disorder.

The dad simply yelled, no words spoken. Doesn't matter what he was watching; was just some show. Though knowing my cousin it probably has some kind of symbolism. The traumatic event was that his wife died which turned him into a broken man.

Was the guy dead? If so, his arm probably wouldn't have stayed there. If not, the dad wouldn't have just ignored him. Better if he were slumped on his side, pinning his hands to the ground. That way he's obviously dead, you know why he's dead, but you don't have to show the wound.

His throat was cut and he was struggling for air. Death would follow shortly. Showing the wound was important. The dad was drowning himself in alcohol, but in the end it saved his daughter.

I did not like the sudden noises when the girl turned to look at her friend. It's not a horror movie...people probably aren't wanting to be startled like that. I know I'm not.

The noises didn't startle me at all and I had no idea he was going to do that. But you're right. It's a mystery, not a horror. Though pedophiles are pretty horrific. 🙂

The house was too neat for a drunken slob with no help. The dishwashing scene could have showed his turnaround much better. Maybe he tidies up the living room and finds something poignant, like a picture of his wife under a pizza box. Maybe he goes out into the garage for a bottle of cleaner, walks by a bunch of beer on a shelf, reaches for it absent-mindedly so he can put it in the fridge, catches himself, and walks back into the kitchen with his cleaner.

I think that would've hurt the pacing. And his wife died a week or two ago so the house wouldn't be in total disarray.

 

[Savarak]

nice work, visual and audio!