Originally posted by: OCNewbie
Jumpem, the above post explains it fairly well. I'll try to elaborate a bit. I have no idea how healthy of a relationship your grandmother and your grandfater had while they were alive. I don't know how long they were married, etc. And I'm not certain you could have a firm grasp on how happy they were together if you were 12 when your grandpa died either. I also don't know how old your grandma was when your grandfather died.
The thing is, perhaps they had a great relationship, and were together for many many happy years. It's a sad thing your grandpa died, I'm sure leaving your grandma suddenly in a very lonely situation. Now you were born in 1978, making you about 26 now, and you were 12 when grandpa died. So your grandma is still alive, 14 years later I presume. Most people would agree 14 years is a pretty long time, and who knows how much longer your grandma has to live.
Let me ask you what is more important. After your granpa dies, he can longer be there to support your grandmother, and contribute to her happiness like he once may have. Your grandmother, now alone, and perhaps having many years left to live, is now largely responsible for her own happiness. If by meeting another man, whom perhaps she sees very similar qualities in that your grandpa had, she is brought the companionship that she's surely missing, and can help make her life much happier for the remainder of her life on earth. Is it fair to deny her any level of happiness she may persue? She's still a human being, and still yearns for all the things everybody else does. And I believe why people are calling you selfish about this, is it appears that you would chose to deny her this happiness to bolster your own personal belief (which she apparently doesn't share) that she should be eternally bound to a single invididual even after their passing. Which certainly wouldn't be to her benefit, and would only set YOUR mind at ease, that's where the assumption of selfishness is derived.
I guarantee she did not marry the other man with the intentions to spite your grandfather who passed on. I would only have to assume she married this other man because he, like your grandfather, was a man that deeply cared for her, and was able to bring her a level of happiness perhaps near what your grandfather was able to, and she missed your grandfather, and the presence he brought to her life.
I guess the things you have to accept are. Your grandmother is a human being as much as anybody else is. She gets lonely like you or anyone else does. She is entitled to any level of personal happiness she can attain. Your grandfather has passed on, and there is nothing that can bring him back to your grandmother, or yourself, or anybody else. Your grandmother could either commit suicide, or continue living on this earth. She's made the reasonable choice, and thus with many years ahead of her she will try to live the most fulfulling life she can, including seeking the companionship she, as a human being, inherently yearns for.
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