Changing careers with a family...

[purepolly]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: purepolly
Go way back to when you were 3 or 4, the time before computers. What was your first love...animals, firetrucks, construction?

Probably construction. My true first love was piloting, but my desire to be with my family is stronger. If I was single, this would all be a non issue. I would take flight lessons and get my private license. I'd be fine making $30k - $40k on my own looking down at the world... but for anyone that wants a family, it's unrealistic.

I really do enjoy the science behind how and why things work, which is why Mechanical Engineering has always been in the back of my mind. It will certainly be a challenge, but the problem there is that that's a full-time major. You don't just go to night school to get an engineering degree .

Now you are getting somewhere. How about getting an IT job for a constuction or aviation firm, and letting them foot the bill for your further education?

 

[pontifex]

yeah, i used to want to be a pilot too, and i've never flown in a plane yet.
i also used to want to be an author. i have tons of great ideas for books or movies and stuff but i don't know how to take it from my head and put it on paper or whatever. plus the chances of actually having a hit from it are very slim.

 

[purepolly]

Originally posted by: Aquila76
I'm with ya bro, I had to take a job out of my field during the great layoffs of every major corporation a few years ago. I occasionally see some opportunities I may be able to move into back in my field, but at the same time the job I'm at now is ridiculously flexible. I can roll in at 9:30am, take a long lunch, and leave early bringing work home with no complaints from the boss. I've needed that flexibility for my wife who is going thru some horrible health/mental issues right now. I sooooo want to jump back into what I was doing, but I fear it will end up destroying my wife. I truly am starting to hate this job (not the people, just the work), but at the same time it's decent enough income and benefits with the flexibility to keep my wife from going off the deep end. Maybe things will change for her soon and I can get back to a job that makes me happy.

You, Aquila76, are a good man. :thumbsup:

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: purepolly

Originally posted by: Aquila76
I'm with ya bro, I had to take a job out of my field during the great layoffs of every major corporation a few years ago. I occasionally see some opportunities I may be able to move into back in my field, but at the same time the job I'm at now is ridiculously flexible. I can roll in at 9:30am, take a long lunch, and leave early bringing work home with no complaints from the boss. I've needed that flexibility for my wife who is going thru some horrible health/mental issues right now. I sooooo want to jump back into what I was doing, but I fear it will end up destroying my wife. I truly am starting to hate this job (not the people, just the work), but at the same time it's decent enough income and benefits with the flexibility to keep my wife from going off the deep end. Maybe things will change for her soon and I can get back to a job that makes me happy.

You, Aquila76, are a good man. :thumbsup:

QFT :thumbsup:

 

[Armitage]

Is it working with computers in general that has you down, or the domain you're working in? Writing code for the sake of writing code - particularly soimebody else's code strikes me as incredibly boring. Do you think you'd be happier writing code in a domain you could get excited about? You mentioned engineering - in my experience (aerospace/defense) one thing we're always looking for is an engineer that can write decent code, or a codejockey that can understand the physics, etc. behind the code.

So maybe you don't need to go back to school for a full fledged engineering degree, but just to get some credentials in the science end of things to open up some opportunities.

 

[Aquila76]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: purepolly

Originally posted by: Aquila76
I'm with ya bro, I had to take a job out of my field during the great layoffs of every major corporation a few years ago. I occasionally see some opportunities I may be able to move into back in my field, but at the same time the job I'm at now is ridiculously flexible. I can roll in at 9:30am, take a long lunch, and leave early bringing work home with no complaints from the boss. I've needed that flexibility for my wife who is going thru some horrible health/mental issues right now. I sooooo want to jump back into what I was doing, but I fear it will end up destroying my wife. I truly am starting to hate this job (not the people, just the work), but at the same time it's decent enough income and benefits with the flexibility to keep my wife from going off the deep end. Maybe things will change for her soon and I can get back to a job that makes me happy.

You, Aquila76, are a good man. :thumbsup:

QFT :thumbsup:

Wow, thanks for the comments guys!
I think jbourne and I have similar thoughts floating in our heads. We want what's good for us, but need what's best for the family. Life is a very complex thing, but as long as you can figure out what keeps your family happy you're ahead of the game.

 

[eakers]

step 1: talk to your wife.

 

[badmouse]

I hope you have good health insurance, disability and savings. Because you're headed for some major stress illnesses if you continue the way you are. Then you'll have to make some serious changes, and they won't be the changes you want.

It's not fair to your family for you to be miserable. They deserve the best father they can possibly get.

Challenges happen. Think of the huge list of disasters that could befall you & yours - would you all survive? Sure, you'd find a way. You'd find strength you didn't know you had, you'd thrive in surroundings far from what you have now.


Think of your kids. Do you want them to grow up and settle for something they don't want? It might be a good idea to teach them the skills NOW that they'll need if they get into this situation someday.

I applaud you for doing the right thing by your family, supporting them and thinking first of them. Changing careers is a challenge, but it doesn't have to be a disaster.

Wishing you the best.

edit: you have one thing that a single guy doesn't have - a cheering section