Changing careers with a family...

[Stuxnet]

Hypothetically speaking, we have a guy who's in his late 20's, has a wonderful wife and two amazing young children. He's absolutely miserable in his chosen profession (we'll say he's a codejockey). He very much wants to shake things up in his life but not willing to risk not being able to properly provide for his family.

It really sucks. I feel totally aimless. I'm really good at my job but I'm bored to death. There is absolutely zero challenge. I changed jobs to try to look for something more challenging, and there was a brief one, but as soon as it was overcome I found myself right back where I started. I'm also sick and tired of interacting with the same types of people every day. I look at the people around me and feel sorry for them and feel sorry for my future self. My boss is a putz who's entire life is his job, and he's not even that good at it. His boss is the same way, except he IS good at it. I don't live for my job because it's of so little interest to me.

I need something challenging and exciting, and I need to be around people who are challenging and exciting. I know I should be very grateful for the opportunities that I've had and the good fortune afforded me so that I can live comfortably with my family. Am I expecting too much by wishing I could have that AND a thrilling career?

 

[Gibson486]

Go back to school?

You just picked the wrong major, that's all.

 

[Accipiter22]

go back to school....part time maybe? take night classes? My aunt is in her 60s and has literally degrees in 8 different majors, and she did most of them while being superintendant in a large school system.

 

[pontifex]

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Hypothetically speaking, we have a guy who's in his late 20's, has a wonderful wife and two amazing young children. He's absolutely miserable in his chosen profession (we'll say he's a codejockey). He very much wants to shake things up in his life but not willing to risk not being able to properly provide for his family.

It really sucks. I feel totally aimless. I'm really good at my job but I'm bored to death. There is absolutely zero challenge. I changed jobs to try to look for something more challenging, and there was a brief one, but as soon as it was overcome I found myself right back where I started. I'm also sick and tired of interacting with the same types of people every day. I look at the people around me and feel sorry for them and feel sorry for my future self. My boss is a putz who's entire life is his job, and he's not even that good at it. His boss is the same way, except he IS good at it. I don't live for my job because it's of so little interest to me.

I need something challenging and exciting, and I need to be around people who are challenging and exciting. I know I should be very grateful for the opportunities that I've had and the good fortune afforded me so that I can live comfortably with my family. Am I expecting too much by wishing I could have that AND a thrilling career?

i feel the same way. my job is boring and not very challenging. i want to do something exciting or interesting. i'm still paying for school and will be for a while yet. i can't really afford to go back to school again. plus working and going to school is a major pain. i did twice now and i really don't want to do it again.

 

[LeiZaK]

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Hypothetically speaking, we have a guy who's in his late 20's, has a wonderful wife and two amazing young children. He's absolutely miserable in his chosen profession (we'll say he's a codejockey). He very much wants to shake things up in his life but not willing to risk not being able to properly provide for his family.

It really sucks. I feel totally aimless. I'm really good at my job but I'm bored to death. There is absolutely zero challenge. I changed jobs to try to look for something more challenging, and there was a brief one, but as soon as it was overcome I found myself right back where I started. I'm also sick and tired of interacting with the same types of people every day. I look at the people around me and feel sorry for them and feel sorry for my future self. My boss is a putz who's entire life is his job, and he's not even that good at it. His boss is the same way, except he IS good at it. I don't live for my job because it's of so little interest to me.

I need something challenging and exciting, and I need to be around people who are challenging and exciting. I know I should be very grateful for the opportunities that I've had and the good fortune afforded me so that I can live comfortably with my family. Am I expecting too much by wishing I could have that AND a thrilling career?

same here.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: Gibson486
Go back to school?

You just picked the wrong major, that's all.

The biggest problem is I have no idea what I would do if I could "do it all over again". I have a supportive wife and I'm very ambitious when I believe in something and commit to it... I just don't know what "it" is.

And aptitude tests aren't worth the paper on which they're printed.

There's also the million-dollar question: "What would you do if you didn't need the money."

I'd own a very specialized small business... but the fact is, I DO need the money. I can't support my family on the projected income of that small business, so it's not really an option. If I had a million dollars, I'd start the business and pay someone else to run it day-to-day so that I wasn't tied down. Not very realistic .

 

[gabemcg]

Originally posted by: jbourne77
Hypothetically speaking, we have a guy who's in his late 20's, has a wonderful wife and two amazing young children. He's absolutely miserable in his chosen profession (we'll say he's a codejockey). He very much wants to shake things up in his life but not willing to risk not being able to properly provide for his family.

It really sucks. I feel totally aimless. I'm really good at my job but I'm bored to death. There is absolutely zero challenge. I changed jobs to try to look for something more challenging, and there was a brief one, but as soon as it was overcome I found myself right back where I started. I'm also sick and tired of interacting with the same types of people every day. I look at the people around me and feel sorry for them and feel sorry for my future self. My boss is a putz who's entire life is his job, and he's not even that good at it. His boss is the same way, except he IS good at it. I don't live for my job because it's of so little interest to me.

I need something challenging and exciting, and I need to be around people who are challenging and exciting. I know I should be very grateful for the opportunities that I've had and the good fortune afforded me so that I can live comfortably with my family. Am I expecting too much by wishing I could have that AND a thrilling career?

Could this "hypothetical" person be, YOU?

sorry, I feel for you... I'm early 20's no family commitments, I just quit my job yesterday. I've got no Idea what I'm gonna do now, but I'll find something. I just wish I could find something that makes me happy...

In your case, I would just start shopping yourself arround to places that you think you would enjoy/ would be fulfilling... If you find one, quit that POS job and move on up to the east side!
Good luck!

 

[daveymark]

do you have any hobbies? If not, start exploring some. take a cooking class. Go scuba diving. GO horse riding. Join a club of some sort that you know absolutely nothing about. Join a baseball team in the summer, a basketball team int he winter. Even if you THINK you won't like it, try it anyway. How can you know if you don't try? The point is, it's all about the journey. Figuring out what you like is the spice of life. You're headed in the right direction, some people don't even realize they're mindless drones that keep aquiring material things with no real purpose. Get out there and do stuff!

Godspeed.

 

[Stuxnet]

I do have a hobby and I belong to a club and have met some great people there. My biggest fear I guess is just waking up when I'm 50 and hating myself for not doing anything this problem when I was 30. My Dad was a miserable man, and that was one of the reasons why. I look at my boss and I just shudder. It's just like "my God someone put that man out of his misery". The guy goes on vacation and continues to work his butt off. He works 11 hour days and it doesn't even bother him. He eats, breathes, and shits work doesn't even enjoy it, nor is he compensated for it. It's beyond pathetic and I'll be dipped in sh*t if that's going to be me!

One thing I have considered doing is going into Mechanical Engineering, as that would allow me to get a job in the design/manufacturing side of the hobby that I love. It would probably be the next best thing to the retail side of the hobby (the small business I spoke of).

By the way, thanks for the words everyone... it's nice knowing that I'm not alone in these feelings. Misery loves company!

 

[LeonarD26]

Would it be possible to make a horizontal move at your current company? Not sure how realistic it is for you, but maybe some more changes at work would help you. How would your boss take it if you asked for more/different responsibilities??

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: LeonarD26
Would it be possible to make a horizontal move at your current company? Not sure how realistic it is for you, but maybe some more changes at work would help you. How would your boss take it if you asked for more/different responsibilities??

That would probably be somewhat suicidal in my position. I was brought in here for two very specific reasons: one, to bring some order and skills to the software development group, and two, to lead a project that is likely going to be the company's financial foundation in the future.

There are actually positions elsewhere in the company that interest me, but I would probably give my boss a heart attack .

 

[shimsham]

i hear you. ive been managing a restaurant for the past 12 yrs. great boss and plenty of pay, can flex my hours however i need to to be able to handle my responsibilities as a parent, but completely meaning less drone work. ive had other oppurtunities over the years, but could never take that risk and pay cut and have decided to stick it out where i am so as not to risk upsetting the family unit and our finances. i will return to school, once our children are old enough to stay at home by themselves while im gone taking classes. that will be in a few years.

for now, i take solice in the fact that even though im not fulfilled in my career, the benefits of being here with my family and a strong presences in my childrens life out weigh my desire to do something meaningful at work. still sucks sometimes tho. but, such is life.

my children are 8 and 10. by the time they turn 18 and go off to college, ill only be 40, so ill have plenty of time to pursue what i want for the next half of my life. now that im older, im able to appreciate it more and have the maturity to handle it and not want to party all the time.

 

[purepolly]

What did you want to be when you were a child? Remember what it was and do that instead. That is probably where your passion lies.

As a kid I wanted to be a nurse, but went into engineering instead. What a god awful 20 years of my life were spent dealing with unethical whiny egocentric alcoholic sales engineers. However, in hindsight, it makes dealing with psyche patients easier

Do what you love.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: purepolly
What did you want to be when you were a child? Remember what it was and do that instead. That is probably where your passion lies.

I wanted to work with computers. :|

*flies back in time and beats younger version of self with rubber hose*

 

[PatboyX]

Originally posted by: Accipiter22
go back to school....part time maybe? take night classes? My aunt is in her 60s and has literally degrees in 8 different majors, and she did most of them while being superintendant in a large school system.

school is the first thing that popped into my head as well.
even if its not "school" but classes in things you are interested in...they may spark your interest in a way that youve forgotten it could be sparked.
someone brought up hobbies...and that is essentially what hobbies are...areas of tiny expertise.
however, this is probably a good start -- finding a group of people who are like-minded. im sure ATOT is the place to find others feeling equally as stifled.

 

[purepolly]

Go way back to when you were 3 or 4, the time before computers. What was your first love...animals, firetrucks, construction?

 

[Kelemvor]

I'd love to change careers as well but can't go from making $20/hr to $12/hr at a new job that I have no experience in. SO here I sit, fixing computers and answering stupid questions.

 

[pravi333]

my advice is, with a wife & 2 kids DO NOT quit your present job & go back to college or search for a new job. You need to have a steady source of income. Do what ever you had to while working at the present job till you land up in different job.

 

[Biggerhammer]

You might want to think about starting a company. If you're good enough to excel at your job and what you want is a challenge, you should be able to really shine when you work for yourself- and that way, your skills fatten your pocket instead of keeping your boss' country club membership paid up. I would not sugest dropping your current job- it's dull but safe- but you might find yourself moving from Dullsvill INC to your own company over the next few years.

 

[Stuxnet]

Originally posted by: purepolly
Go way back to when you were 3 or 4, the time before computers. What was your first love...animals, firetrucks, construction?

Probably construction. My true first love was piloting, but my desire to be with my family is stronger. If I was single, this would all be a non issue. I would take flight lessons and get my private license. I'd be fine making $30k - $40k on my own looking down at the world... but for anyone that wants a family, it's unrealistic.

I really do enjoy the science behind how and why things work, which is why Mechanical Engineering has always been in the back of my mind. It will certainly be a challenge, but the problem there is that that's a full-time major. You don't just go to night school to get an engineering degree .

 

[Wapp]

If you are still young enough and really want to shake up your life consider joining the military. I know several people who were unhappy with their civilian jobs and left them for a career in the military that they love. It'll be a major pay cut but they will train you, cover your medical, and put a roof over your head.

You could just go guard or reserve. Maybe you'll find that excitement you are looking for doing one weekend a month/two weeks a year.

Yes, there is a chance you will deploy but it really depends on what career field and branch you are in.

 

[Aquila76]

I'm with ya bro, I had to take a job out of my field during the great layoffs of every major corporation a few years ago. I occasionally see some opportunities I may be able to move into back in my field, but at the same time the job I'm at now is ridiculously flexible. I can roll in at 9:30am, take a long lunch, and leave early bringing work home with no complaints from the boss. I've needed that flexibility for my wife who is going thru some horrible health/mental issues right now. I sooooo want to jump back into what I was doing, but I fear it will end up destroying my wife. I truly am starting to hate this job (not the people, just the work), but at the same time it's decent enough income and benefits with the flexibility to keep my wife from going off the deep end. Maybe things will change for her soon and I can get back to a job that makes me happy.

 

[purepolly]

If you are not happy where you are, then it's not the right place for you to be. Accept it and move on.

 

[purepolly]

Originally posted by: jbourne77

Originally posted by: purepolly
Go way back to when you were 3 or 4, the time before computers. What was your first love...animals, firetrucks, construction?

Probably construction. My true first love was piloting, but my desire to be with my family is stronger. If I was single, this would all be a non issue. I would take flight lessons and get my private license. I'd be fine making $30k - $40k on my own looking down at the world... but for anyone that wants a family, it's unrealistic.

I really do enjoy the science behind how and why things work, which is why Mechanical Engineering has always been in the back of my mind. It will certainly be a challenge, but the problem there is that that's a full-time major. You don't just go to night school to get an engineering degree .

 

[axelfox]

If I could do it all over again, I'd pick the right stocks and lottery numbers