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Cannibals

B

BigToque

Lifer
Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, ?I brought ten apples.? The king then explained, ?Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your face, or you?ll be eaten.? The first apple went in, but on the second he winced in pain, and was killed.

The second one arrived, and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy.

1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?and on the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, ?Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!?

The second one replied, I couldn?t help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples.?
 
A similar joke...

Three men were walking aimlessly in the desert. They cam upon a castle, dying of thirst they decided to go into the castle. Inside they found no men, just dozens of beautiful women. The three men decided to stay (obviously, what man wouldn't). For a week they enjoyed themselves having sex many times a day with the many beautiful women. After a week, the king of the castle and his army of men came back. As he walked into his castle he found the three men with his women. Pissed off the king ordered his army to capture the three men and line them up against the wall. Then the king said that each of them would be serverly punished according to their occupation.

The king goes up the the first man and demands to know his occupation. The first man replies..."Fireman." The king tells his army, "Burn off his penis."

Then he walked over to the second man and asked his occupation. Hesitating the man said...."I...I...I...I'm a police officer." The king ordered, "Shoot off his penis."

Then finally the King asks the third man his occupation. With a huge smile on his face the man replied, "Lollipop salesman."
 
Cannibal joke:
Three guys - Tom, Dick & Harry - are going to the airport when their car breaks down. A guy offers them a lift and they all hop in his van. The guy then takes the van off road and speaks to them, "I'm a cannibal and I'm gonna eat you all. There's nothing you can do about it."

The dudes panic and plead for mercy. The cannibal says, "Fine, we'll have a penis-size contest. If the size of all your penises adds up to equal or longer than mine, you are free to go." The 3 guys agree happily.

Cannibal drops his pants and whips out a measuring tape: OMG! 20 inches!
Tom goes first: 10 Inches. "Whew, half the job is done!"
Dick goes next: 9 Inches. "Whew, the next inch should be a no-brainer"
Harry goes finally: exactly 1 Inch.

10+9+1=20 inches, the guys are free to go.
The cannibal drops them at the airport and after he's gone, the bragging starts.
Tom goes, "You guys are lucky I made up for 50%"
Dick goes, "...Which would have been worthless if it hadn't been for my niner..."
Harry goes, "You guys are lucky I had an erection."
 
Originally posted by: LoKe
I lmfao'd. There's a flaw in the joke, isn't there? They're killed immediately after they fail; how could they laugh about it?
Click to expand...

😕 their in heaven
 
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