Canada's "one tank" - The truth about the Canadian army

[sandorski]

Originally posted by: Shiva112

Originally posted by: silverpig

Originally posted by: Shiva112

Originally posted by: slaman
Maybe because Canada is considered among the world's best peacekeepers - NOT warmongers?

whatever, if it wasn't for the US, Canada would have had to defend itself or be swallowed up by another country. The only reason you can be peacekeepers is because you have us warmongers next door.

Who would attack us?

If there was no US, I bet South America or Mexico would have had a more powerful government. The strongest nation nearby would probably have gone after you at some point.

Someone already did go after US.

The Leopard tank is hella sexy!! I could go on for hours how chicks dig the Leopard....there was this time when it was my turn to drive the tank. I received an urgent message to report to my commander at once, so I rushed right over to be briefed. "Son," the Commander began, "you have been given a mission that is vital to National Security! The mission name is Operation Beer Run , read your objectives carefully and Godspeed!" I grabbed the Mission folder and ran to prep the tank.

Note: I shouldn't be telling you guys this, but WTH

The tank needed a few minutes to warm up and I had successfully fired up the wood heater, so I had a few minutes to go over my Mission Objectives:

Primary Objective

Beer---30 cases can be fit within the tank, but up to 200 cases have been successfully carried by the tank on occassion. If you attampt to carry beer strapped to the outside of the tank, you will need to return to base at once as the extreme cold has bruised the beer in the past. Who wants bruised beer?

Secondary Objective

Chicks---To successfully complete this objective will be a difficult task indeed! To complete this Objective you must balance the Primary Objective with this Objective. 10 Chicks is the average, but up to 20 have been successfully been acheived before.

So I drove the tank into town to the Liquor Store and proceeded to accomplish the Primary Objective. I loaded the 30 cases into the tank then got an idea, I unloaded the main gun munitions and successfully fit another 2 dozen cases within the tank! Then I, being on a roll, proceeded to remove 2 dozen bottles from their cases and fit them into the barrel of the main gun!! I successfully put 56 cases of beer into the tank, a record that stands to this day!!

On the outside of the tank I strapped on an additional 83 cases. I could have easily carried more, but determined that doing so would result in a shifting load, thus limiting Chick carrying capabilities. I then drove downtown to the nearest Pub, well, as soon as Chicks see the tank they tend to get weak in the knees, so soon 50 of them had surrounded the tank(undoubtedly the sight of all that beer had a positive effect as well). I managed to load 20 Chicks on top of the beer(wasn't easy) then, as luck would have it, Freda(the town's Pat) drove up to the tank in her pickup. After bartering a case of beer, I managed to get her to carry 25 additional Chicks for me back to the base! 45 Chicks in all, another record that stands to this day woot!!

Let me tell you, I received a number of medals and citations for this mission!!....damn a CSIS van just pulled into the driveway, gotta go guys!!

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: sandorski

Originally posted by: Shiva112

Originally posted by: silverpig

Originally posted by: Shiva112

Originally posted by: slaman
Maybe because Canada is considered among the world's best peacekeepers - NOT warmongers?

whatever, if it wasn't for the US, Canada would have had to defend itself or be swallowed up by another country. The only reason you can be peacekeepers is because you have us warmongers next door.

Who would attack us?

If there was no US, I bet South America or Mexico would have had a more powerful government. The strongest nation nearby would probably have gone after you at some point.

Someone already did go after US.

The Leopard tank is hella sexy!! I could go on for hours how chicks dig the Leopard....there was this time when it was my turn to drive the tank. I received an urgent message to report to my commander at once, so I rushed right over to be briefed. "Son," the Commander began, "you have been given a mission that is vital to National Security! The mission name is Operation Beer Run , read your objectives carefully and Godspeed!" I grabbed the Mission folder and ran to prep the tank.

Note: I shouldn't be telling you guys this, but WTH

The tank needed a few minutes to warm up and I had successfully fired up the wood heater, so I had a few minutes to go over my Mission Objectives:

Primary Objective

Beer---30 cases can be fit within the tank, but up to 200 cases have been successfully carried by the tank on occassion. If you attampt to carry beer strapped to the outside of the tank, you will need to return to base at once as the extreme cold has bruised the beer in the past. Who wants bruised beer?

Secondary Objective

Chicks---To successfully complete this objective will be a difficult task indeed! To complete this Objective you must balance the Primary Objective with this Objective. 10 Chicks is the average, but up to 20 have been successfully been acheived before.

So I drove the tank into town to the Liquor Store and proceeded to accomplish the Primary Objective. I loaded the 30 cases into the tank then got an idea, I unloaded the main gun munitions and successfully fit another 2 dozen cases within the tank! Then I, being on a roll, proceeded to remove 2 dozen bottles from their cases and fit them into the barrel of the main gun!! I successfully put 56 cases of beer into the tank, a record that stands to this day!!

On the outside of the tank I strapped on an additional 83 cases. I could have easily carried more, but determined that doing so would result in a shifting load, thus limiting Chick carrying capabilities. I then drove downtown to the nearest Pub, well, as soon as Chicks see the tank they tend to get weak in the knees, so soon 50 of them had surrounded the tank(undoubtedly the sight of all that beer had a positive effect as well). I managed to load 20 Chicks on top of the beer(wasn't easy) then, as luck would have it, Freda(the town's Pat) drove up to the tank in her pickup. After bartering a case of beer, I managed to get her to carry 25 additional Chicks for me back to the base! 45 Chicks in all, another record that stands to this day woot!!

Let me tell you, I received a number of medals and citations for this mission!!....damn a CSIS van just pulled into the driveway, gotta go guys!!

LOL

Cheers,
Aquaman

 

[Howard]

Even the term Chobham makes me horny.

 

[Vic]

I think it's time we invade

 

[Howard]

And as luck would have it, Canada's military image host is down.

 

[ElFenix]

the AT effect is taking out the canadian military!

 

[CraigRT]

poking fun of Canada = teh ghey.

you have yourselfs a true patriot here..

 

[Aquaman]

Originally posted by: Yield
poking fun of Canada = teh ghey.

you have yourselfs a true patriot here..

Hey until you put on a super hero spandeex costume .......... your no patriot

Cheers,
Aquaman <<<<<<<< putting on his Wolverine costume

 

[wfbberzerker]

Originally posted by: Yield
poking fun of Canada = teh ghey.

you have yourselfs a true patriot here..

so what are you gonna do about it? attack us? with your ONE TANK?! hahahaha

 

[ElFenix]

Originally posted by: Aquaman

Originally posted by: Yield
poking fun of Canada = teh ghey.

you have yourselfs a true patriot here..

Hey until you put on a super hero spandeex costume .......... your no patriot

Cheers,
Aquaman <<<<<<<< putting on his Wolverine costume

whoa, one super hero turns into another!

 

[Swanny]

Interesting. Funny how on their website there are other vehicles classified as main battle tanks. Judging by the pictures, they should go more under general tracked vehicles.

 

[ultimatebob]

What do they need A Tank for? They have the Hacker Hellstorm! Sure, that chick that played Carla in Cheers shot it up at the end of the movie, but I'm sure that they've fixed it by now!




Bonus points for those folks that know what I'm talking about.

 

[eakers]

i think it's sad that you keep harping on the one tank thing


for god's sake get a new joke.

 

[yllus]

Originally posted by: ElFenix
the AT effect is taking out the canadian military!

LOL

 

[Rent]

Originally posted by: eakers
i think it's sad that you keep harping on the one tank thing


for god's sake get a new joke.

This one is still kicking quite well. What are you gonna do, get your tank to come after me? :Q

 

[tm37]

Originally posted by: Radeon

Originally posted by: eakers
i think it's sad that you keep harping on the one tank thing


for god's sake get a new joke.

This one is still kicking quite well. What are you gonna do, get your tank to come after me? :Q

GIVE US there health care system:Q

 

[HappyPuppy]

Originally posted by: tm37

Originally posted by: Radeon

Originally posted by: eakers
i think it's sad that you keep harping on the one tank thing


for god's sake get a new joke.

This one is still kicking quite well. What are you gonna do, get your tank to come after me? :Q

GIVE US there health care system:Q

You can have their health care system. I like mine much better.

 

[Jmman]

Well, I knew the Canadian military was weak and would probably get it's butt kicked by Luxembourg, but they only have one tank? Maybe us Americans need to loan them a couple or something....

 

[Howard]

On behalf of Canada's millitary (not a typo), I humbly request a Raptor.

 

[HOWITIS]

So the US is 10 X larger then Canada with 100X the tanks. Hmm....

ya, so know your place, and don't make us come bitch slap ya!

 

[Grasshopper27]

Originally posted by: eakers
i think it's sad that you keep harping on the one tank thing

for god's sake get a new joke.

-50 grasshopper points for you!

I'm sorry, but this joke just never stops being funny! At least we're not making fun of Canada's ONE SHIP! (err, rowboat...)

Grasshopper

 

[m2kewl]

how many stickers do i need for that tank to beat the mustang in the 1/4 mile?

 

[0roo0roo]

Originally posted by: Skoorb

Originally posted by: grasshopper26

Originally posted by: Skoorb
BTW does anyone have a figure on how many fighting/battle tanks the US has? Don't include support vehicles or "armored bridge layers"etc.

The United States has just over 11,000 main battle tanks, of which about 3,200 are M1 "Abrams" tanks, the rest are M60 "Patton" tanks.

Grasshopper

So the US is 10 X larger then Canada with 100X the tanks. Hmm....

we have 100X the murder rate too

go america!!

 

[BlamoHammer]

I think the BART police may be able to take out the Canadian "army"

 

[CanOWorms]

Originally posted by: eakers
i think it's sad that you keep harping on the one tank thing


for god's sake get a new joke.

When Canadians talk about something else other than their "free" health care, beer, and something about soft lumber maybe Americans will stop talking about your one tank