Well, my son (17 y.o) has a girlfriend, they have been together for 6 months now. I must admit she is very nice, seems like a great catch and they do actually make a very good couple. He swears that they are 'in love', but im not sure. So, i ask you, is it possible for teenagers to be 'in love'?
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Can teenagers be 'in love'?
- Thread starter bradw
- Start date
jlbenedict
Banned
"In Lust".. yes..
"In Love".. very rare
"In Love".. very rare
imported_LoKe
Lifer
Why does love have to be age specific?
your concept of love (as is your concept of friendship, hate, etc.) changes as you grow older, mature, and are exposed to different types of experiences. at 17, you have a certain notion of what being "in love" is supposed to feel like and it's quite possible that you feel exactly what you think "love" is supposed to feel like. i first thought i was in love at 16. i dated the girl for 7 years. i am now 24 (still not very wise in the ways of the world, but still more experienced than i was at 17) and i'm in love with another wonderful female that i've been dating for a year. what i feel now is a much more mature version than what i felt at 16 or 17, yet the very core emotion is quite similar.
so to answer you question, yes i believe it is possible.
=|
so to answer you question, yes i believe it is possible.
=|
Yes i agree, however, do you not believe that maybe such a strong emotion can not be felt if you have not experienced other strong emotions in life? That maybe you do need to experience certain things, learn certain lessons (which may come with age) until you can truely know what love is...
AbsolutDealage
Platinum Member
Sure. My wife and I started dating in high school.
Emotional infatuation is very different.
But it all depends on the maturity of the individual. In most cases a 17 year old isn't very mature to understand that "love" is a concept of commitment and action and accepting someone even though they are really messed up inside.
Infatuation fails to recognize the problems in the other individual, and when they start to realize that stuff, they lose the emotions.
But I have known some individuals that truly understood that concept at a young age. Some of the most well grounded people I know though. Most people at thtat age are too immature.
But it all depends on the maturity of the individual. In most cases a 17 year old isn't very mature to understand that "love" is a concept of commitment and action and accepting someone even though they are really messed up inside.
Infatuation fails to recognize the problems in the other individual, and when they start to realize that stuff, they lose the emotions.
But I have known some individuals that truly understood that concept at a young age. Some of the most well grounded people I know though. Most people at thtat age are too immature.
mattpegher
Platinum Member
What we adults fail to realize is that love is not some great mature process but very much still the same kind of hormonal and biologic process that we experienced as teens. Our maturity only serves to temper the response and our sense of responsibility limit our willingness to forsake all else. A few years ago,at 35, I found myself in a relationship that I was willing to throw everthing away. This addictive drug-like euphoria was little more than a biologic response. When reality set in I found more subtle, mundane and constructive forms of love were preferable.
I guess we need both to some degree and it is only inexperience that makes the young more succeptable to the swings of hormonal love.
I guess we need both to some degree and it is only inexperience that makes the young more succeptable to the swings of hormonal love.
Romance is brand new and exciting for teenagers, so it's easy for them to think they are in love. However, love is truly tested durring the difficult times of the relationship. Its easy to love someone if they haven't shown their ugly side and everybody has one. Your son may not realize that part of truly loving somebody is accepting all the strengths and weakness of that person.
But then again, he might already understand all of this and be in love.
But then again, he might already understand all of this and be in love.
krunchykrome
Lifer
I doubt it. Doesnt everyone think they're in love when they're 17? Ask him if he really loved her when he's 25.
dullard
Elite Member
Can they be in love? Most definately yes!
Just look at the definition. Can a 17-yr-old have tender affection for another? Of course. Can a teenager have warm personal attachments? Yes.
The key is that love changes during a relationship. For the first 1-2 years in a relationship, the feelings of love are automatic. You are in a high (scientifically they can measure body chemicals giving you a high) and you are so happy to see the other person. After 1-2 years, that automatic feeling fades (your body stops producing the endorphins automatically). Then you must choose to love the other person each and every day. You must go out of your way to show your love to the other person and he/she must do these things back to you. Times will occasionally be tough, will you still choose to love the other person then? Many relationships fail at this point; you must choose to love the other person even in the bad times. Thus, love after 1-2 years in a relationship is fundamentally different than love in the beginning of a relationship. This is what SpecialEd was talking about a few posts above me.
So if you are asking if your son is feeling the automatic love, then the answer is yes. If you are asking if he is feeling the matured chosen love, then the answer is no because he and his GF aren't at that stage yet. Few teenagers ever get to that stage because few teenage relationships last more than 1-2 years. But teenagers can get to that stage and they certainly can feel mature love. Love is ageless.
Just look at the definition. Can a 17-yr-old have tender affection for another? Of course. Can a teenager have warm personal attachments? Yes.
The key is that love changes during a relationship. For the first 1-2 years in a relationship, the feelings of love are automatic. You are in a high (scientifically they can measure body chemicals giving you a high) and you are so happy to see the other person. After 1-2 years, that automatic feeling fades (your body stops producing the endorphins automatically). Then you must choose to love the other person each and every day. You must go out of your way to show your love to the other person and he/she must do these things back to you. Times will occasionally be tough, will you still choose to love the other person then? Many relationships fail at this point; you must choose to love the other person even in the bad times. Thus, love after 1-2 years in a relationship is fundamentally different than love in the beginning of a relationship. This is what SpecialEd was talking about a few posts above me.
So if you are asking if your son is feeling the automatic love, then the answer is yes. If you are asking if he is feeling the matured chosen love, then the answer is no because he and his GF aren't at that stage yet. Few teenagers ever get to that stage because few teenage relationships last more than 1-2 years. But teenagers can get to that stage and they certainly can feel mature love. Love is ageless.
jlbenedict
Banned
well said!
Of course anyone can be in love when the "booty is good".. but when the significant other unleashes the "ugly" side of them, will a 17 year old still "be in love" with her/him?
ViviTheMage
Lifer
well, this can be with any age group really...people will say it, but they may be to get something out of it, or because its a comfortable lifestyle they don't want to leave.
It is possible, im sure.
It is possible, im sure.
letdown427
Golden Member
I am inclinced to agree with that post.
I think it's difficult to say "They don't know real love" because one could argue that at 30 you "don't know real love" yet, you don't know whether you could still meet someone else and suddenly be even more 'in love'.
Being in love is the label we give certain chemical reactions, and so I think teenagers can definately feel those same 'emotions', and as dullard half said, how we react to the changes in the 'love' we feel is probably the main difference between teenage love, and 'mature love' (bad images there...)
Metron
Golden Member
Yes, it's possible but rare. I'm here to present one atypical example... my sister.
My sister met her husband when they were both young teenagers in middle school. He was the only guy that she ever dated. They married right out of high school.
They are both highly successful professionals (VP level in their respective firms), and they have been married for 35 years.
My sister met her husband when they were both young teenagers in middle school. He was the only guy that she ever dated. They married right out of high school.
They are both highly successful professionals (VP level in their respective firms), and they have been married for 35 years.
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