Can someone explain Chinese girls to me?

[0roo0roo]

u are a gwai lo...
how accepting depends how $$ u make.
anyways don't complain, your road to acceptance is easy.
if u were black or mexican....

 

[Skyclad1uhm1]

It depends on the family I guess. And it's not limited to Asian families, many people from all over the world see marrying outside the social/cultural/religious/national/ethic group as something negative. Or do you think the average Tea Party members would be happy to allows their sons and daughters to marry a black Islamic or Atheist Democrat?

The sexual taboo is even bigger. How many here would be willing to accept a gay partner for one of their children?

 

[rh71]

I don't think it's customary for asian families to be against their daughters to be dating white guys. Just look at how many asian girls are dating white guys.

Black guys on the other hand, may be an issue.

This. And as a matter of opinion, they may feel that they're moving up in social classes if they get some white in their heritage forthcoming. Don't you white folks get big heads now... not every Chinese is smart. 😀

My brother is engaged to a white girl. Her mom... all she wants is a little chinese girl. Nothing wrong with that, just strikes me as interesting.

 

[Zee]

Bikini pics?

Well, she's not Chinese she's English, but her parents are Chinese and she refers to herself as Chinese.

Is it normal for Chinese families to have a problem with their kids/siblings going out with non-Chinese guys? She mentioned it was a shock to her parents when her sister went out with a white guy... obviously I asked her out anyway... she totally avoided the question... but not in a dismissive way... she seems to like me... we went on a beach holiday with a group and we seemed to really click... wft is going on here? Most girls would have said yes or no... is this some kind of... racism?

/disclaimer - yes I am currently getting drunk and none of my real friends are around

"like"

 

[quikah]

I'll say the same. I don't mind a one night stand, but damn right I want my kids to speak Chinese and go through Chinese school like I did.

God what does this even mean? You think a white person in a mixed couple would forbid this or something? My wife speaks Mandarin to my son, he will be going to Chinese school if he needs it, he will be spending month of time in China with my wife's family.

Maybe I am wrong, but seems to me that Taiwanese and possible Cantonese are more prone to this. I have honestly not seen anything even close to this in all the dealings I have had with my wife's mainland family/friends. Maybe I am just clueless or have been lucky. beats me.

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

When I look at some korean media, they subliminaly portray American culture as over-sexed and over rebellious (which is somewhat true) so I think some parents feel that white men are too dangerous. Ironically Korean culture itself is rapidly moving toward that extreme.

Pure Blood theory also drives a lot of this discrimination.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pure_blood_theory_in_Korea

 

[alkemyst]

Do you think most chicks 'seem to like you'? I think her answer was NO.

Move on, don't worry about it.

 

[oddyager]

1) asian families, especially first generation here in the States, tend to be ultra conservative.

2) sounds like she wasn't sharing the same feelings you're having. time to move on.

 

[meltdown75]

That's so pessimistic man. Nobody ever got what they want by giving up. Plus I swear she likes me - either that or I totally misunderstood a bunch of stuff last weekend, some of which involved a hot tub.

well, you left that part out, but i would still say the ball is in her court. you've expressed interest. i'm not a pessimist. i'm an experienced realist 😉

 

[alkemyst]

well, you left that part out, but i would still say the ball is in her court. you've expressed interest. i'm not a pessimist. i'm an experienced realist 😉

I am thinking she wants to play that court and the OP is getting too serious.

It's obvious she doesn't want her parents to know.

I'd put this chick on my friends with benefits list and keep her as a back up to nights without action planned to just "hang out".

 

[ivan2]

if you are white, depends on the family (i know a dad who hate his daughter's bf because he's white, even get into big argument about it), if you are black, the you are universally hated.

 

[Schadenfroh]

Well, she's not Chinese she's English, but her parents are Chinese and she refers to herself as Chinese.

Is it normal for Chinese families to have a problem with their kids/siblings going out with non-Chinese guys? She mentioned it was a shock to her parents when her sister went out with a white guy... obviously I asked her out anyway... she totally avoided the question... but not in a dismissive way... she seems to like me... we went on a beach holiday with a group and we seemed to really click... wft is going on here? Most girls would have said yes or no... is this some kind of... racism?

/disclaimer - yes I am currently getting drunk and none of my real friends are around

My girlfriend is mainland Chinese, she has been in America since January (both of us are graduate students), things have been serious for several months now.

Sounds like your interest was raised in The West, so I am not sure how much of what I have learned from my experience is applicable to your situation.

My girlfriend is the only person in her family that speaks English. I do not speak Chinese and her entire family is in China.

Her parents know that she is in a serious relationship with a white American. Her parents are worried that she will stay here with me and never return, thus they dislike our relationship. She has emphasized to them that if she stays, she can always visit every so often. I am thinking this is more of a different country / culture thing than a racial thing. However, this should not be a problem for you as your interest is English, so I am leaning more towards racism as she is likely concerned about what her parents will think of her.

My girlfriend's brother-in-law is (or was) a member of The People's Liberation Army, so I am sure when I meet him that will not go over well.

On a side note, some male Chinese will dislike seeing you romantically involved with a Chinese woman. The non-American male Chinese waiters at (real) Chinese restaurants we go to treat me noticeably different when I am eating with her. Her male coworkers are OK towards me. Her friends (females) are always really nice to me.

A Chinese guy that I have worked with in the past freaked out when he discovered that she liked me (he liked her as well). He found my mother's Facebook and business webpage while googling my name and started sending her messages / emails about how it is an abomination for white guys to be romantically involved with Chinese women, that her son should find an American girl and leave Chinese women alone, etc. He called me / left me weird messages as well. After about two months of us ignoring him, he quit. Never threatened violence, so I could not take legal action to make him stop. Could have beaten the shit out of him, but then that would have gotten me in trouble with the cops. It was like high school drama on steroids from a guy in his late 20s. That was really odd.

In short, you might be getting more than you bargained for, but it will likely be mitigated since she is English.

But, not to discourage you or anything, I love that gal and I would not trade her for the world, well worth any added complications.

 

[NetWareHead]

I am seeing this Chinese girl on and off, Cantonese background. She exclusively dates white guys, not prefering Chinese/Cantonese guys for a variety of reasons. Her parents (immigrants to this country, she being born here) were not cool in the beginning but have accepted it now. The only restriction is that she can never go out with a Japanese guy.

 

[Leros]

The way I've heard several Americanized Asian girls put it is:

There are two kinds of Asian guys
1) Cocky and self asborbed
2) Quiet, shy, antisocial.

There isn't much in between. They find white guys to be a better mix in the middle. (Their words, not mine).

The more fobbish Asian girls I know date exclusively Asian guys, only from their own nationality.

 

[gimmewhitecastles]

well, you left that part out, but i would still say the ball is in her court. you've expressed interest. i'm not a pessimist. i'm an experienced realist 😉

I say the same thing when people call me a pessimist.

"I believe pessimists are just being realists. Optismists are just delusional."

 

[rh71]

The way I've heard several Americanized Asian girls put it is:

There are two kinds of Asian guys
1) Cocky and self asborbed
2) Quiet, shy, antisocial.

There isn't much in between. They find white guys to be a better mix in the middle. (Their words, not mine).

I'd wager - for as many in-between kinds of asian girls, there are asian guys. Those girls who exclusively date white guys are just stereotyping or generalizing... I mean white society stereotypes asian girls as quiet and submissive and even that isn't mostly true.

 

[oddyager]

I'd wager - for as many in-between kinds of asian girls, there are asian guys. Those girls who exclusively date white guys are just stereotyping or generalizing... I mean white society stereotypes asian girls as quiet and submissive and even that isn't mostly true.

Pretty much it and for some it's become a social status deal. Dating a non-asian man puts them in some imaginary level above other asian girls who date asian guys. Stupid, right?

 

[RaistlinZ]

How come we hardly ever see Asian men dating white women?

 

[Locut0s]

err, you can replace Chinese with Jewish, Muslim, Catholic, Japanese, Greek, Russian, Brazilian, etc., and the same would still hold true.

This

 

[meltdown75]

u are a gwai lo...
how accepting depends how $$ u make.
anyways don't complain, your road to acceptance is easy.
if u were black or mexican....

how low? GWAI LO

 

[Vette73]

I don't think it's customary for asian families to be against their daughters to be dating white guys. Just look at how many asian girls are dating white guys.

Black guys on the other hand, may be an issue.

Sorry but thats wrong for many asian familys that came to the US.
My wife is from Vietnam and her father did not want ANY of his kids dating white guys. My older SiL got in trouble for just hanging out with a white guy. I think the only reason why he was not to upset with my wife and me was they thought my wife was to mean to ever get married. :awe:

Chinese should only date chinese, vietnamese should only date vietnames, jap... you get the idea. That holds true for many that come to the US.

 

[Leros]

Sorry but thats wrong for many asian familys that came to the US.
My wife is from Vietnam and her father did not want ANY of his kids dating white guys. My older SiL got in trouble for just hanging out with a white guy. I think the only reason why he was not to upset with my wife and me was they thought my wife was to mean to ever get married. :awe:

Chinese should only date chinese, vietnamese should only date vietnames, jap... you get the idea. That holds true for many that come to the US.

Among the immigrant Asian families I know, I've seen two different scenarios.

1) Stay with your own kind, preserve the culture, etc, etc

2) Dating a white a guy is best. I've actually seen families call back home to brag about their daughter getting a white boyfriend. Its a social symbol for some reason.

 

[MJinZ]

Among the immigrant Asian families I know, I've seen two different scenarios.

1) Stay with your own kind, preserve the culture, etc, etc

2) Dating a white a guy is best. I've actually seen families call back home to brag about their daughter getting a white boyfriend. Its a social symbol for some reason.

Pretty obvious. We want to integrate UP not DOWN. Whites rule American, duh.

 

[Locut0s]

I am thinking she wants to play that court and the OP is getting too serious.

It's obvious she doesn't want her parents to know.

I'd put this chick on my friends with benefits list and keep her as a back up to nights without action planned to just "hang out".

Isn't your wife Asian?

 

[vbuggy]

"Can someone explain Chinese girls to me?"

They like normal girl, but yellow. Everything same inside.