Can love be defined as watching someone die?

[DerekWilson]

... and I'm not sure how I feel about the subject.

On the one hand, their song "What Sarah Said" exemplifies the experience of my family while coming together this past March when my grandfather passed away.

In fact, it's been quite a while since a song impacted me in such a way. I really was back there at the hospital ... and, while incredibly sad and difficult for me, I was very impressed by how acurate, powerful, and complete the song felt (side note: I'm a musician and I appreciate good song writing to a very high degree).

But the last couple lines seemed to hit me as a bit ... well, not what I've ever thought before.

"... love is watching someone die. / so who's gonna watch you die? (repeat 3x)"

On the surface it strikes me as a sad way to look at things and not fully correct.

But stepping back, if you consider that we are all slowly marching towrads our death, I suppose it is possible that love could be considered the act of watching someone die /over the course of their entire life/. But that's almost more depressing than the entire rest of the song ...

What do you guys think?

For reference:

"What Sarah Said"
By: Death Cab for Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan
is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
that reeked of piss and 409

And I rationed my breathes as I said to myself
that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak of the LCD
took you a little farther away from me

... Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
in a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
on a faulty camera in our minds

But I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
as the TV entertained itself

'Cause there's no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes round and everyone will lift their heads
But I'm thinking of what Sarah said that "Love is watching someone die"

So who's going to watch you die?

 

[sandorski]

Great Band!

I think the point in that line has to do with loneliness. If you are loved you are not lonely, if you die alone you are not loved. Or something to that effect.

 

[halik]

That whole CD has the love/death motif going for it - I will follow you into the Dark picks up on the idea also.


"Love of mine / someday you will die / I'll be close behind / follow you into the dark" :heart:

 

[DangerAardvark]

Meh, song lyrics are supposed to be melodramatic. Sort of like a movie, where every love is head over heels, every death is overwhelmingly tragic; every emotion x 10. I, personally don't look for much depth in song lyrics. Lyrics only have two jobs: to rhyme and to emote.

 

[iamwiz82]

Ben Gibbard is a great songwriter. Pretty much all he touches is gold.

 

[SirStev0]

I am sure they do what most emo bands do... they take a word from their list of emotion words (in this case love) and they take a word from their list of "dark" word ... they fill in the space between the two words ... toss them all with a few bad guitar riffs and call it poetry...

 

[K1052]

It makes sense to me.

If someone is there to watch you go then that person actually cares and you have really lived.

In the larger sense of the whole "everyone is dying" thing I don't look at it that way. Being too focused on the inevitable end makes actually living you life (what people should be doing) seem pointless when it isn't.

 

[sandorski]

Originally posted by: SirStev0
I am sure they do what most emo bands do... they take a word from their list of emotion words (in this case love) and they take a word from their list of "dark" word ... they fill in the space between the two words ... toss them all with a few bad guitar riffs and call it poetry...

boooo hiss hiss

 

[Suspicious-Teach8788]

I find it odd to discuss with a mod. =P

Anyways... I don't believe that you can define love as watching someone die, but rather watching someone die reinvigorates feelings of love within you. For example if my ex died now, watching it happen would not only bring great sadness to me but it would remind me why I loved her perhaps. However, I don't think that is a definition of love.

 

[DerekWilson]

heh ... I'm not actually technically a moderator ... In my capacity working for AnandTech (as with the rest of the staff) I suppose I would be considered more of an administrator ...

Regardless, it's not like I can't hold a conversation

DLeRium, I suppose I agree with what you are saying, but I think it could extend beyond that. I mean, the "is" in the sentence isn't necessarily exclusive ... maybe love is also other things as well as watching someone die ...

if I say that this apple is red, that doesn't mean it isn't also round ...

if love was only watching someone die, that would suck ... but I do think it can be an aspect of it ... just not one I would really wanna sing about.

And yeah, I guess my everyone is dying thing is a little heavy and not what they intended ... but the mood the song put me in really set the stage for my brain going there.

 

[xSkyDrAx]

I love DCFC and I think that if you really cared about someone, you would want to be with them during their final moments.

 

[Toonces]

derek - it seems you liked 'Plans', have you listened to any other DCFC albums? IMO 'Transatlanticism' , 'The Photo Album' , 'Stability EP' and maybe even 'We Have the Facts and We're Voting Yes' are superior to 'Plans' - you should check them out

We all die alone. I think that's one universal facet that defines 'humaness' - no matter your situation. Death can be faced by the individual alone and although some people may have support from family/friends during the moments before; ultimately there is no one else but yourself once the moment of your death occurs.

Within the context of the song it's interesting that the narrator places him/herself in the waiting room, not the hospital room literally watching 'sarah' die. This leads me to believe that the meaning of "love is watching someone die" is also not meant to mean being present at the literal moment of their death (as it dosen't really matter as everyone dies alone anyways ).

Instead it's more akin to your observation that love = watching someone die within a larger context of a loving relationship. Metaphorically speaking; 'sarah' isn't really dying, the hospital waiting room just provides a convenient and powerful example of where people face stong emotions within their lives. Love invokes the same feelings as watching someone die; with the final "so who's going to watch you die" asking the listener to take a look at how they develop their own definitions of love and if they're feeling 'in love' to honestly evaluate if it does indeed feel as powerful as watching someone die.

Here's the music video btw.
The protagonist is writing in French. On the mirror "il m'aime" (he loves me), on her hand "un peu" (a little), the wall "beaucoup!" (a lot!), herself "a la folie" (passionately/madly). Interesting companion to the song, to say the least.

 

[Excelsior]

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Ben Gibbard is a great songwriter. Pretty much all he touches is gold.

May be, but I find his vocals to be insanely annoying.

 

[TheCrackedJack]

Originally posted by: Excelsior

Originally posted by: iamwiz82
Ben Gibbard is a great songwriter. Pretty much all he touches is gold.

May be, but I find his vocals to be insanely annoying.

Me too, can't stand him one bit :thumbsdown:

 

[jjzelinski]

Originally posted by: SirStev0
I am sure they do what most emo bands do... they take a word from their list of emotion words (in this case love) and they take a word from their list of "dark" word ... they fill in the space between the two words ... toss them all with a few bad guitar riffs and call it poetry...

WORD

say it from the mountain tops

WORD

 

[DerekWilson]

i do much prefer transatlanticism to plans. plans grew on me though, as I almost didn't like it the first time I listened to the whole thing ... sure some songs stick out, but for me to like an album, i've got to like the feel.

and thanks for the link to the video