This link makes be really feal sorry for tech support technicians. http://rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_calls.shtml
Calls from hell.
- Thread starter shawnmos
- Start date
THis is classic.
Customer: "I'll have you know, I've never even seen a computer before yesterday."
Great. Great start to a call. He wanted to install the Internet connection software we have, so I had him insert the CD. "It ain't workin'!" was all I heard for about two minutes of trying the drive and checking to see if it was really there.
Tech Support: "Sir, could you eject your CD for a moment? We need to check if it's scratched."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Look on the bottom of the CD, and see if there are any scratches on it."
Customer: "On the bottom? Shouldn't we check the top?"
Tech Support: "Is the shiny side of the CD on the top?"
Customer: "Of course."
Tech Support: "Ok, could you flip it over so the shiny side is down and then insert it into the drive?"
Customer: "Won't it scratch if I put it in like that?"
Tech Support: "No, it won't scratch."
Customer: "Well, ok...."
He inserted the CD in the drive correctly, and then his computer froze.
Customer: "My computer froze! I told you it would scratch the CD!"
Tech Support: "I'm sure that's not the problem--"
Customer: "I can't believe you scratched the CD."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir, could you hold down 'ctrl' and 'alt', and then-- (clunking sounds) Hello? Hello, sir?"
There was no one on the line for a moment. Then he spoke up again.
Customer: "I've been holding 'ctrl' and 'alt' for the past two minutes, and nothing is happening at all on my whole damn computer, because you made me scratch the software."
Customer: "I'll have you know, I've never even seen a computer before yesterday."
Great. Great start to a call. He wanted to install the Internet connection software we have, so I had him insert the CD. "It ain't workin'!" was all I heard for about two minutes of trying the drive and checking to see if it was really there.
Tech Support: "Sir, could you eject your CD for a moment? We need to check if it's scratched."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Look on the bottom of the CD, and see if there are any scratches on it."
Customer: "On the bottom? Shouldn't we check the top?"
Tech Support: "Is the shiny side of the CD on the top?"
Customer: "Of course."
Tech Support: "Ok, could you flip it over so the shiny side is down and then insert it into the drive?"
Customer: "Won't it scratch if I put it in like that?"
Tech Support: "No, it won't scratch."
Customer: "Well, ok...."
He inserted the CD in the drive correctly, and then his computer froze.
Customer: "My computer froze! I told you it would scratch the CD!"
Tech Support: "I'm sure that's not the problem--"
Customer: "I can't believe you scratched the CD."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir, could you hold down 'ctrl' and 'alt', and then-- (clunking sounds) Hello? Hello, sir?"
There was no one on the line for a moment. Then he spoke up again.
Customer: "I've been holding 'ctrl' and 'alt' for the past two minutes, and nothing is happening at all on my whole damn computer, because you made me scratch the software."
THis one too.
I used to work as a salesman for a computer wholesaler a number of years ago. I got a call from a woman who was fit to be tied. She found out that the person who sold her the computer bought it from our company and called us to complain.
Customer: "I need help with this computer!"
Tech Support: "Well what do you need to know?"
Customer: (screaming) "Well I bought this damn computer from this guy who says he bought it from you and he came to my house and hooked it up. Now while he's explaining to my daughter how to use it, she's telling him 'yeah, yeah,' she knows what he's talking about. I'm in the kitchen cooking peppers and onions while my daughter is going 'yeah, yeah,' then this guy leaves, and I ask my daughter if she knows how to use the computer, and she says she was too embarrassed to tell him she didn't understand and just told him 'yeah, yeah.' Now I paid over $1000 for this thing and I don't even know how to use it!"
Tech Support: "Uh, well is there anything in particular you want to know how to do?"
I never anticipated her answer.
Customer: "I wanna make a tennis game."
Tech Support: "A what!?"
Customer: "A tennis game with the paddles."
Tech Support: "What, you mean like pong?"
Customer: "No, tennis!"
Tech Support: "You mean with graphics?"
Customer: "I wanna make a tennis game with the, you know, rackets and the ball."
Tech Support: (in shock, I start blurting nonsense) "Well, do you know Windows?"
Customer: "I don't know anything about computers, I was frying sausages in the kitchen..."
She tells me the whole story again.
Tech Support: "Well, you would need to lean how to program in a computer language like C++ and that takes many years of experience. I'd suggest you first start slowly and learn DOS and Windows."
After that, I spent twenty minutes talking her down from a seething boil to a cool simmer and finally got her off the phone. I imagine this woman aggravated the poor slob who sold her the computer until he caved in and gave her our number. Nice guy.
I used to work as a salesman for a computer wholesaler a number of years ago. I got a call from a woman who was fit to be tied. She found out that the person who sold her the computer bought it from our company and called us to complain.
Customer: "I need help with this computer!"
Tech Support: "Well what do you need to know?"
Customer: (screaming) "Well I bought this damn computer from this guy who says he bought it from you and he came to my house and hooked it up. Now while he's explaining to my daughter how to use it, she's telling him 'yeah, yeah,' she knows what he's talking about. I'm in the kitchen cooking peppers and onions while my daughter is going 'yeah, yeah,' then this guy leaves, and I ask my daughter if she knows how to use the computer, and she says she was too embarrassed to tell him she didn't understand and just told him 'yeah, yeah.' Now I paid over $1000 for this thing and I don't even know how to use it!"
Tech Support: "Uh, well is there anything in particular you want to know how to do?"
I never anticipated her answer.
Customer: "I wanna make a tennis game."
Tech Support: "A what!?"
Customer: "A tennis game with the paddles."
Tech Support: "What, you mean like pong?"
Customer: "No, tennis!"
Tech Support: "You mean with graphics?"
Customer: "I wanna make a tennis game with the, you know, rackets and the ball."
Tech Support: (in shock, I start blurting nonsense) "Well, do you know Windows?"
Customer: "I don't know anything about computers, I was frying sausages in the kitchen..."
She tells me the whole story again.
Tech Support: "Well, you would need to lean how to program in a computer language like C++ and that takes many years of experience. I'd suggest you first start slowly and learn DOS and Windows."
After that, I spent twenty minutes talking her down from a seething boil to a cool simmer and finally got her off the phone. I imagine this woman aggravated the poor slob who sold her the computer until he caved in and gave her our number. Nice guy.
Probably teh best one.
Tech Support: "Welch Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Tech Support: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Tech Support: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
Tech Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Tech Support: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Tech Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Tech Support: "Can you see the C:\> prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Tech Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Tech Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
Tech Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
Tech Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
(Rustling and jostling heard in the background.)
Customer: [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
Tech Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Customer: "Yes, it is."
Tech Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
(Rustle, rustle.)
Customer: [muffled] "Ok, here it is."
Tech Support: "Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Customer: [still muffled] "I can't reach."
Tech Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark in here."
Tech Support: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Tech Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer: "I can't."
Tech Support: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power outage."
Tech Support: "A p-!" [AARGH!]
This woman was good friends with my supervisor. She's now also my wife.
Tech Support: "Welch Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Tech Support: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Tech Support: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
Tech Support: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Tech Support: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Tech Support: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Tech Support: "Can you see the C:\> prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Tech Support: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Tech Support: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
Tech Support: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
Tech Support: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
(Rustling and jostling heard in the background.)
Customer: [muffled] "Yes, I think so."
Tech Support: "Great! Follow the cord to the plug and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Customer: "Yes, it is."
Tech Support: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
(Rustle, rustle.)
Customer: [muffled] "Ok, here it is."
Tech Support: "Follow it for me and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Customer: [still muffled] "I can't reach."
Tech Support: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark in here."
Tech Support: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Tech Support: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer: "I can't."
Tech Support: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power outage."
Tech Support: "A p-!" [AARGH!]
This woman was good friends with my supervisor. She's now also my wife.
Hehe, someone emailed me this one once, except the end had the tech support guy tell the woman to unplug the computer and return it because she was too f-ing stoopid to own a computer, and that the tech got fired
LMAO. Man, all you techies deserve a pat on the back. I really love computers but I could never keep my cool with ignorant and/or stupid people. I'm just bad at that kinda stuff.
OMG so true!! Old people are not fun to work with.
<< Customer: "Hey, can you send me a dozen apples too? My wife would like to make a pie. Ha ha! Apples. Get it? Macintoshes? Ha ha. Don't you get it?" >>
ROTFLMAO!
<< Customer: "Hey, can you send me a dozen apples too? My wife would like to make a pie. Ha ha! Apples. Get it? Macintoshes? Ha ha. Don't you get it?" >>
ROTFLMAO!
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