Calling ATOT parents - need advice for potty training my son

[Bryophyte]

Who wipes him when he uses the toilet? If he's balking because he is afraid of the mess, do it for him until he gets over it. My son had that problem.

You might check with your doctor in case he has a medical reason for it.

 

[Pulsar]

So this is probably the worst place to ask for kid advice, but here goes.

My son is 4 and a half. By the time he was three, he was effectively 100% potty trained during the day. Almost no accidents during the day, but every now and then he would have a bad spell.

Fast forward a year and half later, and he has seemingly reverted 100% backwards, at least with respect to number twos. He's a champ at peeing in the toilet, but unless I catch him mid squat he will simply poop himself whenever and wherever he happens to
be. Suffice it to say that it is REALLY annoying.

My wife and I have tried everything we can think of, with no luck. We've tried rewards, no rewards, oh'ing and ah'ing when he goes, talking with him when he has an accident, yelling at him when he has multiple accidents; taking rewards away when he has multiple accidents, not changing him for a while (letting him wallow in his own filth), making him spend up to half a day without pants/bottoms on, etc. In essence, both positive and negative reinforcement of varying degrees. Nothing seems to work. Today he had three poop accidents, with the last one being about 30 minutes after I sat down and patiently explained to him how important it was to keep dry and clean.

Any of you have this issue with one of your kids? If so, any recommendations?

We are having the reverse problem, but I have a potential solution.

Does he like video games?

Our son is so impatient (at 8!) that he won't sit on the toilet long enough to poop. He wants to be out playing. So he gets constipated because he simply won't sit still long enough to go. As a result, we now give him one of our old cellphones to play video games when he's on the toilet. He gets cut off after 10 minutes.

You need to use positive motivation (yes bribes). But, if it doesn't work, go back to pull-ups until sh/he fixes it herself. It'll happen when sh/he's ready.

 

[Intabus]

Op, I am in the same situation, though my son is now 6. Take him to your doctor and ask them about this.

1. Encopresis
   Consult a doctor if you have a medical concern.
   
   
   
2. Encopresis is the voluntary or involuntary passage of stools in a child who has been toilet trained (typically over age 4), which causes the soiling of clothes.
   
   

Basically, it is a blockage that builds up until fecal matter seeps out around the blockage. It usually numbs the area so the children have no idea they are even going until the deed is done. They are aware it is bad to soil thier pants and they feel extremely ashamed of the parents disappointment but they have no way to stop it.

I have seen mostly positive results with my son by increasing fiber intake (fiber one bars work wonders) and using a combination of Apple Juice and Pedialax(watermelon flavored laxatives, looks like candy. Can also use Miralax or other powder supplements) and ensuring that my son has several 10-15 min "potty time" moments throughout the day where I sit him on the toilet at set times. In the morning when he wakes up, after school, and after dinner. I also used a reward chart, and when he filled it up he gets a big prize. Only a small handful of accidents in a good 6 months. Sometimes I find little ... goat pebbles I call them around the house. Ball of stool that obviously fell out of his shorts, but nothing like the accidents of yore. Patience and persistence is key. And understanding that this may not be behavioral at all.

I felt terrible when I found out what Encopresis was because I had done everything as you had, including punishing and getting angry. All this time my son knew it was bad but could not stop it. So talk to your family doctor and see if that is the case. They will feel your kid's abdomen and see if there is blockage and may recommend an enema to remove it.